


If all hope was lost, would you help me?

by stellamedii



Series: Modern [4]
Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Family, Family Fluff, Gen, Horror, Hurt/Comfort, Main character with schizoaffective disorder, Modern Era, Rape Mentions, i'll add tags with each chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:13:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 50,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26118586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellamedii/pseuds/stellamedii
Summary: Ventus just wanted to be free of a captive home. What adventures await him upon finally having said freedom and getting to go to school for the first time in his life. Let alone be let out of the house for the first time. Sequel to Stand face to face with your god.
Series: Modern [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2164965
Comments: 16
Kudos: 19





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is my modern version of Ventus and co. And admittedly a bit of a vent work to help me get some things off my mind so if you happen to find out who I am, keep it to yourself. I'm not naming anyone, I'm just trying to get it out so maybe I won't be so anxious I can't eat anymore. That sentence was weird but you get what I mean I hope.
> 
> As for my persona fic. I can only write one muse at a time and that happens to be Ventus, so all minor characters might be rusty and I can't quite find motivation to write another main so I apologize for that.

“Oracle, guess what?!” Ventus beamed over his mic, hands practically working on their own to move his inkling across the map and slink through ink. 

“What is it?” His friend mused from the otherside. He could see her avatar atop the stacked boxes of the darkened and festive warehouse map, splatterscope at the ready. He’d protect her of anyone that got too close, but could anyone? She was an expert shot, and he was an expert in his own craft. Both top ranks of their respective weapons. 

“I’m finally getting to go to school!” Taking his inkbrush, he swam his squid after an approaching enemy from team cat. It wasn’t hard to take them out. Name was a bit lewd for a kid’s game though. Maybe he should report them after the match.

“That’s great Gula! I just started school myself!” Another inkling came from the top jumping down to shoot at Ven, but Oracle took them out in a single shot.

Turning around, Ven saw the explosion of their team’s teal ink. A smile graced his face as he gave a quick thanks before getting back to the topic at hand as well as manning his station by the boxes to continue protecting.

“Right, Joker helped you feel better right? So you started this year too?”

“You got it.”

“I haven’t seen him online in a while. What’s he been up to?”

“You know, stealing the hearts of every girl he meets.”

“As he does.”

For a little bit, they fell silent to focus on the match as the conversation dwindled. The one minute mark hit after all, leaving the music to quicken. It wasn’t entirely necessary as for the most part, the randos they’d been paired with seemed to do a decent job in locking the other team in. Poor cats. Locking in was an effective strategy, especially on the warehouse, but it was still a complete dick move. He shouldn’t be surprised though, everyone proved to be an utter prick during splatfests.

The match ended with ease, and their team won without much of a scratch. Then again, they weren’t playing on pro mode so maybe they were cheating a bit. Other high ranks played the normal mode too though. And it’s not like they could play together on pro so the kiddies would just have to suffer for their own amusement. Even if it was unfair, the whole team seemed in agreement to play another match together.

“Anyway, Gula,” He could practically hear her guzzling down some two-liter no doubt. There was even a soft sound of refreshment. A sigh of relief if you will. “What’re you gonna do? You’re gonna be the new kid in the middle of the year. Will you be able to handle that? The most you’ve ever had was online and let me tell you, in person is way more terrifying.”

As they were waiting for more cats, Ven took the opportunity to snack a bit, washing it down with mountain dew. Splatfests were ungodly laggy so they’d be waiting a while, assuming they didn’t get disconnected anyway. 

“Is it really that different?”

“Well yeah. Online we rule the world because we can hack anything. In real life, you can’t exactly hack them away.”

“I think I can come up with multiple things I can do to people in real life because I can hack well. I could hack their accounts and spam gore and not safe for work content. Seemingly turn them on all of their friends so they lose all their loved ones. Or hack their cameras and put videos and pictures of them on the dark web and ultimately ruin their lives.”

She laughed. See, while that was all morbid and probably illegal, at least she couldn’t argue with it. 

“I guess you could do that, but be careful on the dark web alright. There’re people on there that you don’t want the attention of.”

“Thanks,  _ mom _ , I’m well aware,  _ mom _ .” The blonde huffed.

“I’m just saying, look out for yourself. You’ve never been out of the house until now, and it was hard for me to leave, and I’d actually left until…you know.”

“I know, I’ll be careful.” He could hear her give a soft sigh on the other end, not an antagonistic one, but one of acceptance. “So how long are you on for tonight?”

“”It’s day for me remember, you’re the one that should be going to bed soon. I just recently got up.”

“You just got up? What time is it for you?”

“7pm. You?”

Ventus looked down at his dying phone, squinting passed the harsh light it emitted. “Shit!”

“That bad huh.”

“I didn’t even notice the sun came up!”

“How did you not notice that?”

“Curtains! Curtains and blanket curtains exist especially for someone that never goes out in the day!”

“Are you a vampire, Gula?”

Scoffing, he replied “I’m a majestic werewolf thank you very much.”

“Uh huh. So majestic werewolf, you staying online then, or actually getting some sleep?”

“Nah, I already came this far, might as well just pull an all nighter at this point.”

“That’s the spirit! You’ll be sorry for school today, but let’s toast to that!” He couldn’t quite see it, but he knew the drill. The teen lifted his can up and “clinked” alongside her.


	2. Welcome to school

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not much of a vent fic already. Couldn't get the characters to cooperate so I guess it's a normal fic now. I started the third chapter so far though.

“Gula! Hey, Gula! Are you awake over there?! You’re getting annihilated!” Oracle called over the mic. Ventus on the other hand had started drifting to sleep, his grip loosening around his controller and his form slumping forward as he struggled desperately to stay awake. 

“Yeah sorry, my meds are kicking in I guess.” Considering the amount of drool that slid and dripped from his mouth, that was certainly the case. A disgruntled noise escaped him as he wiped the slobber up with his sleeve. Damn side effects. How was he gonna hide that during school?

“I can see it now, Gula, you’ll be dead asleep and in a pool of drool on your desk.”

“I gotta style my hair with something so why not use what’s free. My own made hair gel.”

“That’s disgusting!” She laughed something infectious as he couldn’t help but join her even in his tired state. A knock at the door interrupted him however.

“Ven?” Came Aqua’s tentative voice as the door opened, cracking ever so slightly before fully opening to reveal a rather huffy sibling. Was it that obvious he hadn’t slept? “Ven! You played games all night?!” Why yes, yes it was. 

“But I always play games all night. Or watch tv all night.” He defended while his friend laughed at his follies over the mic. He moved one side of the headphones out of the way of his ear to better hear his sister, having to move them up top his head entirely. How abysmal. 

“You’ve never had to go to school before though. Today’s your first day.” She tried to explain. It just went in one ear and out the other with the boy however as he shrugged.

“My meds make me tired so I’m always falling asleep no matter how well rested I am. That’s just a fact, Aqua. So whether I wasted my time sleeping or not, I would be asleep in class.” Motioning off to the screen now sitting in the lobby as being idle left him disconnecting from the match, Ven insisted “Plus it’s splatfest. It’s special so I had to play it.”

“You’ve been saying that since Friday. How long exactly is this thing?”

“Three days.” He held up three fingers. “Meaning it ends today and I need to get my rank up to join the top players for this splatfest.”

“Gula, we’re playing casual, there’s no rank for that.” Oracle’s voice came over the mic.

“Shhhh she doesn’t know that.”

Placing her hand on her hip, Aqua shifted his weight to her other leg and raised a brow. “What do I not know?”

“Uhhh how special you are to me.” Ven insisted with a wet but bright smile. Again, his companion burst into a fit of laughter.

“Uh huh.” She mused with a knowing smirk. “Just clean up and get ready for school. You’re going to regret not going to bed, but also you’re drooling.”

Again, he wiped his face with his sleeves, leaving his sister to grimace. “Oh, Ven, please change jackets and give that one to me to wash. I can see from here how much you’ve used it on yourself.”

Bringing his arm up, he inspected the slimy and moist sleeve with a grimace of his own. Had he really been drooling that much? Upsetting. How he’d get through school without making a fool of himself, he hadn’t the slightest idea. Not when he fell asleep standing up anyway. Maybe he should try coffee to wake up a bit. Or five hour energies. Those wouldn’t give him a heart attack right?

“Hey, Aqua?” He piped up as she took the headset off of him and brought her hands down next to grip at the top of his hoodie.

“Up.” She suggested to which he easily held his hands sky high for her to drag the oversized article up and off of him, discarding the filthy clothing to the floor beside him. “Now what is it?”

“I won’t have a heart attack if I drink energy things right?”

Perplexed by the question, the blue haired teen smiled, “You chug monsters and mountain dew all the time. Are those not energy drinks?”

“Are they? I just thought they were beverages.”

“Either way, they’re not healthy and neither are energy drinks in general. Caffeine is bad for you so just try to drink water instead.”

“I feel like you cheat and have an affinity for water because your name’s Aqua.”

“I have an affinity to being healthy unlike you, now c’mon get ready or you’re gonna be late.” She ushered him on, arms motioning forward. 

Ventus leant forward, getting his mic really quick to give a short goodbye to Oracle before exiting the call and switching off his game. Ready, he finally stood from his cross-legged position on the floor. Hurt to move after sitting on a hard surface so long, why hadn’t he just sat on the bed really? Would have helped with the now ache in his neck from having to crane it upward to better see. No one said sleepy boys made bright decisions though.

Aqua was already rifling through his drawers, throwing new pants at him, another pair of black cargo pants, underwear (embarrassing but clean) and mismatched socks.. And running her hands through his closeted shirts, she tossed one of the many band shirts at him. Nct, a favourite, but unnecessary as it would be covered up by one of the many hoodies from the closet she’d thrown at him. Maybe he was an anime character because he didn’t change his style much.   
Black, baggy pants for wiping cheeto or dorito dust on, hiding his legs, and breaching his checkered sneakers, band or music t-shirts, mismatched socks for goodluck (usually black and white), and last but not least, the main thing, his beautiful black and white hoodies that kept him snug and kept his scarred flesh hidden from view.

Oracle would think it’s so rad that he was an anime character though. He certainly did. Maybe he should wear a ninja headband to school. He had a collection, or rather every type of them -- normal and crossed out for each village. He might get made fun of for going to school as a blatant weeb though. Maybe he’d just pack one in his Doom themed satchel for later. Hell, maybe there’d be an anime club to show it off at. 

“Ven, stop daydreaming and hurry up. You need to eat still.” Aqua scolded, though she failed to look at him as he was still changing into cleaner clothes. God only knows how long he’d worn the previous outfit. Usually days at a time without a shower too. She really hoped he’d showered recently now. He didn’t look greasy or emit a horrid odor this time at least so he seemed good enough.

“I’m hurrying.” Ventus huffed whilst he hopped on one leg to pull his pants up. Buttoning and zipping them with ease, much to his relief, the blond mused “See, all done.” And since there was no real pressure against his stomach from them, he didn’t mind the thought of eating. It didn’t disgust or frighten him at least. 

The two hurried down to an uneventful breakfast. Just more of the same worries for Ven to be starting school finally. He’d be fine though. He’d get along great with people. He always did. Okay, that was a lie. He didn’t do well with most. But he was a popular streamer and gamer so he was loved! So this had to be a cake walk. Maybe he’d even meet people that knew him and liked him! Now he was excited all over again. So much so that he wished wished WISHED he could skateboard to school. Show off his skills and be that much cooler. But no, he had to have Terra drive them. How was that fun?

It wasn’t, it left an even more boring car ride to school. One that was both nerve wracking and exciting all the same. Ventus couldn’t wait to get there, but he also couldn’t help but feel sick to his stomach. 

Maybe this was too much. Maybe he shouldn’t be doing this. 

Maybe.

Maybe.

Maybe.

“We’re here, Ven.” Aqua called out, effectively ceasing his panic. His head spun a moment there, but looking out at the school now, he was excited. Excited to meet people. Excited to see everything. Just purely excited for the world he’d never been allowed to experience until now. And it only beamed in him with vibrant radiance ten times over as he stepped out of the car and into the sun he oh so adored.

“Ven, you have your headphones and blindfold right?” Terra asked, getting out of the car himself along with their adopted sister.

Poking at the green and black glitch designed headphones and pulling at the black blindfold resting underneath the headphones around his neck, Ven gave a thumbs up. “Got ‘em, but try to check with me on that before we get to school next time alright. Otherwise we’ll have to go all the way back home for them.”

“Ven.” The elder boy mused with a knowing glance.

“What? It’s true and you know it.”

“Whatever you say.” Terra raised and waved a hand of dismissal. “Just hurry up and get to class before you’re late on your first day.”

“But I don’t even know where I’m going.” The blond boy whined.

“We’ll show you to the office at least, but it would be better to just let you sink or swim don’t you think.” His brother mused with a devious smirk.

Aqua stepped up to Ven, kneeling down to one knee and resting hands on his shoulders. “Don’t worry, Ven, we’ll get you all settled in.”

His eyes widened, Ven stuttered out “Wh-why do you say it like that? I was already fine.”

She gave him a sweet and warm smile, one that easily melted his anxieties of the day further. She was right. How could he fear anything when he had them on his side. They’d never let anything happen to him so he beamed much more brightly and genuinely than before. 

A bit sheepish, he kicked his checkered sneakers against the ground, picking up some pebbles and flicking them about. “I guess I was still a bit nervous.” He admitted, a warm smile gracing his own visage as he looked to her. “Thanks, Aqua.”

She stood then, taking her hands off of him if only to offer one to be held. One he gladly took as his gaze never left her. His other hand was quickly occupied by Terra who he looked up at upon the touch. He was skittish at first, breath hitching in his throat, but easily calmed to breathe properly at the sight of someone familiar. There were still anxieties to gulp down, but he thought he was good now. He hoped anyway. 

Looking to the school left him jittery and nervous again. All those people going in that’ll either like him or hate him. He really hoped for the former. 

They carried on though. Closer and closer to the people that would make or break this entire experience. They seemed exciting and nerve wracking the closer he got. Ventus wasn’t sure what to think exactly. Should he be excited or scared? Which was it?

“Ah, Terra, Aqua.” A voice spoke. They were inside. When did that happen? Did he worry that much? They’d let him go, and instantly one hand of his fell to his mouth where he couldn’t help but chew at his flesh, gnawing incessantly against the skin and bone. His mind froze, leaving the only constant to drone a panicked “help” in his mind.

Help Me!  
Help Me!  
Help Me!

His mind screamed and screamed. He was noticed though. Everything was noticed. The spit covered fingers with teeth marks littering them. The quickened breathing. And the far off look that clung to nothing.

“Ven!” Both his siblings turned their attention to him just as the one who spoke to them had. The old man donning the long and wise beard stepped from behind the counter to aid them. He knew that man. He’d seen him a lot. Why couldn’t he place him now though? Why couldn’t he place anything? Everything seemed so far away. So blurry. So distorted. 

_ “You’ll be alright Ven.” _ A softer voice practically echoed in his mind. The source was hard to find, but when he did track down the sweet girl in the pink robes and fox mask, he was allowed to breathe. He couldn’t make sense of the world still, but she was there and he could find solace in that. 

Ava moved to him, placing a hand to cup his cheek that he couldn’t quite feel well. Nevertheless, Ventus still laid his head against her hand. 

_ “Just trust me and your family. We’ll protect you. Remember.” _

That’s right. They would. They just proved that, so why was he panicking already? And before he even met any others either. That’s...pretty embarrassing. But right, everyone was worried about him so he straightened, head up and hand free of his mouth. He wiped the excess saliva on his hoodie’s side and spoke.

“Sorry, I’m fine.” His gaze moved to the man he couldn’t quite place prior. The sight left him beaming and moving from the other two’s grasp, through Ava’s hallucination, and wrapping wide spread arms around the sage like headmaster. “Yen Sid! Will you be watching over me too?!”

The elder man straightened himself out as well now that Ventus seemed alright. “That’s right. So come to the office if you ever need anything. Even if you’re just stressed, we’ll give you a safe haven here.”

Ventus squeezed tighter, swaying with Yen Sid in his grasp. “EEEE I wish you were my grandpa instead. That would be way better!” Despite his enthusiasm, his words weren’t taken too well by those surrounding him. Aqua was apologetic. Terra was aggravated. And the eldest seemed disheartened. To be expected though.

The blond teen released the other and pulled back. Ava smiled at him which he smiled back and gave a small wave for the rest to barely react to. They were rather used to him regarding himself after all. 

“When do I get to start school?!” He beamed a moment later. 

“Now actually.” The headmaster assured as he raised an arm to reveal a quad squad. Were they always there? God he hoped not. “This is the welcoming committee otherwise known as the student council. You’ve heard about student council haven’t you, Ventus?”

Pressing a finger to his lower lip, he hummed. “Umm they keep the school in order right?”

“More or less.” Terra mused. He patted the younger on the head, ruffling his blond hair. “Now do you want us to stay with you, or do you have it from here?”

“Are you gonna be late for class?”

Aqua and Terra both looked to the clock, just about cringing at the time. He’d take that as a yes. As if he needed more confirmation, the bell rang, easily causing his siblings to stiffen. 

_ Ooh, the infamous ‘“I’m gonna be late to class” trope. _

Very specific, but one he loved from shows nonetheless. 

“Get to class, we’ll take it from here.” The welcoming member with the beanie spoke. Did...did his hat say ore on it? His hat said I? Why? He also looked a bit queer. Was that rude to think? Maybe he should ask Terra and Aqua.

“Thanks, underclassmen.” Terra remarked giving the group a fingergun gesture and a wink. Oh right, they were still here. Man, he’d lose his head if it weren’t attached to him. 

“You don’t even know the student council for our school, Terra?” Aqua mused with crossed arms and a smirk.

“I’m busy with football usually. I know them and the cheerleaders.”

“And yet being a football player, you can’t snag any cheerleaders.” Ven chuckled. “Maybe it’s because you’re the terrible underdog that only gets in games when someone’s injured.”

“Ven.” Aqua scolded a bit urgently for the remark. He knew why though. It was something they weren’t supposed to bring up. Terra was used before after all so he feared the distress imminent thanks to his words. It never came though.

“Hey, Ven, you’ve heard of swirlies haven’t you?”

Shock was evident on the younger boy’s visage while the eldest held one of arrogance and mischief. Darting behind Aqua, he held her up as a shield against Terra’s grabbing motions while shrieking “No!”

Their fun was short lived however as Yen Sid cleared his throat against his closed hand.

“Class.” He stated simply, though it was plenty to get them to stop. Terra kept his hands to himself while Aqua offered an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, we’re just wary of letting Ven on his own. We’ve always been with him after all.”

“I’ll be alright. I’m not a kid anymore, remember.” He insisted. “Just get to class. I’ll see you guys at lunch right.” Smiling brightly, he bolstered “I’ll have so many friends for you to gawk at by then, it’ll put Terra and his underdogness to shame!” Again, a risky move, but he seemed alright the first time. Maybe he moved on from what happened.

Already turning to leave, as the headmaster was ushering them out of the office, Terra mused “If you don’t have a swarm of friends by lunch, you’re getting a swirly, courtesy of me.” He pointed to himself with his thumb rather proudly. 

“Off to class you two go.” Yen Sid insisted once more. When the door closed behind them, he turned back to Ventus and the rest. Ven however wasn’t too thrilled by their leave. He felt so alone. So scared. Hell, if it would bring Terra back now, he’d take that swirly this instant just to be with his family again.


	3. Student council

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the rating from M to T for now because I had M ideas but I kinda lost them. They weren't going to happen for a long while though anyway and if they do end up happening, I'll bump the rating back up and put a warning before the chapter starts.

“Can you four show him to his classes?”

Saluting in a very casual and not at all fun way, the seeming lead in the beanie started with a spine shivering smile “We’ve got it, just get back to work alright, headmaster.”

Yen Sid gave a look that Ven couldn’t quite discern before heading off. Another one gone, and with that, four that he couldn’t really get a read on. They looked mad to say the least. Or displeased even.

They--

“Alright, runt, let’s get this over with.” The main one rudely remarked just as he was looking at their appearances. Wait was that rude? Terra called him runt all the time, but they always played about afterwards. This boy didn’t seem too friendly in that regard. 

Pointing a thumb at himself, said teen introduced himself. “The name’s Seifer. And these guys are Rai, Vivi, and Fuu so don’t disobey them or we’ll find you.” 

“You’ll find me?” Ven asked but was easily ignored as the girl coined as Fuu remarked simply

“Find you.”

“We’re also the disciplinary committee y’know.” The third and more muscular looking one, Rai, spoke up.

“I in fact did not know that.” 

“Hurry up!” Seifer called out, motioning for the group as a whole to follow, which his half easily did as told. “We’re getting out of early classes for this.”

“But isn’t that bad?” Ventus asked only to be ignored. This definitely wasn’t the best feeling. What else could he do though? He was left with them by everyone so they couldn’t be all bad. They were supposed to be the leads of the school, so maybe they were just harsh because they had to be to keep chaos from running amok.

That helped him hurry along behind them, sticking just a bit too close to Fuu. She smelled nice, like blueberry soap. Or no, maybe he was imagining that because of her hair colour and general colour scheme. She looked like blueberries bathed in soft cream.

She was so heavenly. So beautiful. He wondered if he could get her number.

_ “Hold on, Romeo.” _ A harsh and stern voice scolded from close by. Where it came from, he couldn’t discern, it kinda echoed in his mind. No one else was around. Ventus did look however, this way and that for the source to no avail. Maybe he was just hearing things. Not so unheard of. He heard things constantly with his ailment after all. 

Just as he was about to give up on the search that left him stalling and falling back from his guides, a small black and white, fuzzy cat head popped out of his satchel.

“Matir!” The boy beamed, giving her a loving pat and caress on the head and a bit of chin pets. She adored those. He knew. She couldn’t help but adore the pets despite what she said. Or rather, what he "thought" she said. She only talked to him after all, so it was easy for everyone to chalk it up to him being crazy and hallucinating as usual. He knew she was real though. She taught him a different language that he couldn't search, and told him they were both guardians from a world so long ago there was no number for it. Of course it wasn't a life he could remember. Reincarnation maybe?

That aside, such an outburst garnered the attention of those leading him. And boy did they not look happy. Their eyes were immediately on him, giving him enough time to shove his beloved cat’s head back down into the bag. Of course she had some complaints on the matter, but it would probably be bad to get caught with a cat at school. He didn’t want her to get confiscated. 

Could they even do that?

“Have you been paying attention at all?” Another scolding, this time from Seifer. It was...scary to say the least, and Ventus couldn’t help but find comfort in the way he allowed his fingers to caress his hidden cat’s head. It gave him the courage he needed to carry on.

“Then what have we told you so far?” It was harsh to say the least. Again, scary. But what have they told him? He didn’t remember hearing anything. What did they even pass? 

Looking around showed that he actually knew where he was. Score for having Lea give him a tour when Yen Sid was off handling things elsewhere. Those many days sitting around Terra and Aqua’s school for babysitting paid off.

“Uh...you said that that was the science lab and this was the science hall in general. Back there is the library. And then the hall that way was the band and history section, and--” Ven pointed along to each, about to carry on only to be stopped.

“Alright, so you were paying attention.” He didn’t seem too pleased by that. Did he want Ven to fail? Why was he so grumbly about it?

“You pass.” The woman of his dreams remarked dully and coldly, yet he still felt overwhelming joy from it.

The one that looked like Kenny from South Park or R.J. from Paranatural came up to him and gave him a fist bump for his efforts. Their name was Vivi right? Whatever it was, Ven happily obliged, following through with a small explosion while Vivi opened their own hand and gave one that fell on deaf ears. Did...did he actually say anything or was it so low that his hearing aids weren’t picking it up? He couldn’t see their mouth passed their face mask so it was hard to say. 

“Hey, Vivi was it? You know what would be sweet? If you had a LED like light up jack o' lantern face mask.”

Vivi lit up, at least they perked up anyway. Seemingly so. Couldn’t exactly see their face to properly tell, but what did give it away was how the covered individual grabbed ahold of Ven’s hand with both of their own and nodded with quite a bit of fervor. Honestly, it was amazing their hood stayed up. That was enough to tell the blond teen to smile ever so brightly though. Now if only he could get the rest of the tough crowd to appreciate him.

Speaking of them, they actually didn’t look too displeased. At least not at him. Who were they scowling at? A glance over showed someone that looked rather alike to him though they had brown hair and green eyes instead of blond and blue. Were they really that similar then? But he knew that guy! They were childhood friends! Or well no, not really. They’d known eachother online for a few years and he knew that because they’d idiotically shared pictures and addresses and all that like the bad and naughty little children they were. What could he say? He was young and naive at the time. It was just exciting to meet people. And what’s Roxas gonna do? Kill him?

Waving wide and tall, Ventus called “Hey, Rox-”

Or he tried anyway. Just as the words were leaving his mouth, it was covered by a hand, Seifer’s hand to be exact. Just as quickly, he was dragged to be shielded by the group. What happened with Roxas then, he wasn’t quite sure, but he did hear Fuu give the command of

“Keep moving.”

“I’m going, I’m going. You don’t need to harass me.” Oh there he was. Maybe he jumped the gun on figuring Roxas was gone already. 

_ Wrote him off too quick.  _

He didn’t sound too happy though. And what’d he mean by harass him? Would they do that? That wasn’t very nice. At least if it wasn’t playful like what Terra did with him anyway. Something told him it wouldn’t be by the way Roxas reacted.

He was released then, mouth uncovered and sight unheeded. Roxas actually was gone this time. A shame, but he supposed he could just message him later. Maybe ask for his schedule. That’s what students did right?

“Roxas, what a waste of space he and his friends are.” Seifer practically spat. Weird, he could almost see the venom dripping from his tone. Ven’s head even tilted to watch it fall like purple malic. Maybe he was just imagining things though.

“You don’t like Roxas?” Ven piped up. “But he’s really fun! I wanted to meet his friends and now I finally get to!” However he can find them anyway. “Can you help me look for them if you know them.”

“I’m not going to help you find trash!” 

Dampening and lowering in stance, Ven bowed his head and uttered out a pathetic 

“But I said Roxas and his friends, not trash.”

“They are trash.” Seifer reiterated, causing the short blond teen to frown.

“But they’re my friends.”

“Yeah and you’re our friend now so you don’t need them.” The student prez insisted. That sounded sketchy, but wait, they were friends?

“We’re friends?”

“Yup, just stick with us and we’ll take care of ya, y’know.” Rai chimed in while Vivi seemed giddy for Ven’s attention. Fuu was...hard to read to say the least, but so majestic. And Seifer just looked expectant and confident.

Was he not allowed to be with Roxas and his friends then? That...actually hurt. Just bringing his hand up to shake Seifer’s made him so anxious. So afraid. Was this a mistake?

After the agreement was officially made between the two, Ven couldn’t help but be a bit confused on what just happened. Was this how all friends were made? That couldn’t be right. Maybe it was a joke that he couldn’t talk to Roxas anymore. Maybe they were friends and it was just a weird thing between them. He’d have to ask Roxas later. It just didn’t make sense.

“Oh yeah, you can keep your cat now that you’re with us” The lead pointed off to the bag. “And you won’t have to worry about people calling you a freak schizoid as long as you’re with us either.”

What? Was he kidding? He couldn’t tell. There was no way he could be serious about that though right?

“You’re kidding right?” Ven voiced allowed, brows furrowed and the bag of cat held protectively against him. “How do you even know about all that?”

Grinning a toothy and now rather evil smile, Seifer replied “You’re cat was moving in your bag and popped out for one thing. And for another, a teacher ratted you out. We even know you’re prone to violence like the stereotypical shizoid you are.” He paused if only to take in the shocked expression of the boy he scolded. “What? Do the voices in your head tell you to harm people? What an excuse that is.” 

What is this? Why was he saying this? What’d he do wrong? Why did he even know all this?

Why?  
Why?  
Why?

Seifer stepped back then, confidence overwhelming a now clear and massive ego. “Stick with us, and you won’t have to hear comments like that, got it? We’re here to help you so think of us as your saviours and not tormentors. You’d be miserable if you sat with the losers. Scorned by all.”

“Scorned by all.” The temptress repeated as usual. Ven was starting to realize there wasn’t much else to her than that. He couldn’t help but be enthralled by her still.

“Got it?” He insisted once more, leaving Ven to gulp his anxieties down and look up to the other. It was shaky, but he nodded. “Great. Glad to have a new ally then.” Holding a hand out, he stated “Now let’s see your schedule so we can get you to class since apparently you never even needed a tour. We sure didn’t teach you anything about the layout, but we’ll have to teach you who to avoid again later since you clearly weren’t listening.”

That’s what they were talking about? They never talked about the school itself? God he should’ve paid attention. Maybe then he wouldn’t have gotten stuck with them. But really, how bad can it be?

But right, his schedule. He shouldn’t forget about that already. It would be bad to piss Seifer off apparently. Just the thought left him trembling and biting into his lip as is. He’d be biting on his fingers if they weren’t busy sifting past a cat. Matir certainly made it difficult to look, but eventually he dug it up and a bit hesitant, handed it over. 

“Ooh, you lucked out today. You had health with Elrena first.” 

“Yikes.” Rai remarked. Did these guys do anything but follow Seifer’s lead? He was starting to think not. That was...unnerving. And rather disappointing.

“Dilan for art, not bad but not great. Even for science, get ready to be dissected yourself.” He carried on looking through the list. Get dissected himself though? That’s upsetting. Maybe he could ditch that class. “History with Lea is a cake walk since he’s usually telling random stories so blow off class. Luxord actually cares about his math class so watch for that. English with Aeleus and unfortunately home ec with Lauriam.” Seifer paused a moment to smirk. “Be sure to make us something good for lunch.” His attention returned then to the list. “And last but not least, gym with Braig. Wish you luck surviving that one.”

He really couldn’t get a reading on this group. Were they threatening him, or helping him? Ven couldn’t be sure. Maybe he just didn’t know enough about others to tell? Maybe he’d ask one of his friends later. Oracle should be up right about now. He could hide in the bathroom and call her maybe. Or text his group chat even. Oracle might be easier though. She was pretty good at responding after all. Then again, she was also in his chat. 

Before he knew it, he was receiving a harsh pat on the back that set shivers down his spine. A small jolt even. It brought Ven’s attention to Rai, the culprit.

“Remember, stick with us and you’ll be fine, y’know.”

Fuu stepped up then. “Now get to class.” She practically ordered. Harsh, but it still warmed his heart to no end. It felt like butterflies filled his stomach, leaving him a bit dazed and therefore shoved from the group that now went on their own way, much more vocal with one another now that they were just amongst themselves. It was a little rude to say the least. Nevertheless, he yearned to be part of the crew one day. To be truly accepted. Maybe if he wasn’t an outsider he’d be able to befriend not just them, but Roxas too and bring them all together. That was such a warming thought, it left him giddy. 

But right, class. But wait, where to first? He looked down to see.

“...”

Ah, Seifer still had his schedule. Welp, guess he needed a new one. Easy peasy as Zidane would say. And what do you know, it was just that simple. And no one was mad at him for being by himself, not after he explained anyway. Yen Sid did furrow his brows at the explanation of being abandoned. Something about having to look into it, but he gave Ven a new schedule all while disregarding the hungry and meowing cat in his bag.

“Don’t ask.” Ven tried, schedule now in hand. “I guess she snuck in to sleep while I was playing games.” 

Just as the headmaster opened his mouth to speak, maybe request the cat stay with him in the office and out of trouble, Ventus already moved off to escape from the small enclosed area, the cat still in the bag. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want this chapter getting too long, but in the next chapter more of the students will be introduced and the teachers met.
> 
> I'm open to any critiques as long as they're not blatant just bashing. What can be fixed and all that, especially about other characters since I'm not great at playing other ones.
> 
> Along with that, I plan on a Silent Hill crossover and Hannibal crossover at some point but probably won't be for a while since I'll be focusing on this one for now.


	4. Classes are a little drab

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics are in Ven's head, and bold since the language is not complete, is in Yecht Fradi.

**_“Kill them.”_ **

Ventus furrowed his brows, lips pressed to a thin line. The voice echoed and resonated within him. It built up a rage he could never begin to explain where it originated. He couldn’t pinpoint it either, but it felt so familiar yet so far away. 

Still, the sensation brought his march to class to a halt. It was alright though, the only one who knew he was on his way was Yen Sid, and he was probably preoccupied with work. Besides, what was a small pitstop to the bathroom. Better than the alternative, leading his feet to move him that way instead. 

Knowing the layout left it easy to locate. On top of that, he knew about the lock on the door too. Of course Ventus only utilized that after checking each stall for an occupant. None of that checking for feet shit though. Actual opening and checking. One never knew if there was another shy and overwhelmed person around after all. 

The coast seemed to be clear, allowing Ven to huddle in the corner, furthest from the door and under one of the sinks. 

**_“What are you waiting for? They’re renaigse. They’re better off dead.”_ **

Convincing. Why was it so convincing? The only justification was renaigse, and that just meant foreigner or outsider. What was wrong with that? Not only that, what did it mean by foreigner? None of it made sense, never did really, but the anger still stirred and swirled within him. So suffocating and intoxicating like sinking and melting in a pit of hot tar.. 

His head fell back against the cool white wall as he took in a deep breath, holding it in for a moment before letting it free. Not much help when the previous encounter was just about obsessed over in his mind.

There was a fix to that. Oracle. She’d help. And she should be up still too, not that she really slept at the right time of day in the first place. 

Resolved, the blond pulled out his phone and pulled up her contact to call. He held the phone up to his ear while his other hand clenched and unclenched, breathing hitching and flowing with manipulated anger. 

The phone rang while he tried to quell himself, but the voice wouldn’t let up. He wished it would. Pleaded with it to, but it wouldn’t. Only when Oracle, or Futaba’s voice appeared did he manage to calm a bit. Familiarity. 

“Futaba! Tell me, were those guys actually rude to me, or am I wrong again?!” 

“The ones you were just with?” She questioned over the phone. Her voice was so hard to hear, leaving him to strain. “No, they were actually pretty civil and nice about who to stay away from and everything. What’d you hear?”

He stalled a moment as he tried to register just what she’d said. “Umm threats to turn the school against me before they shoved me and left.” Before she could continue, Ven excused himself a moment. He took his hearing out, pocketing it loosely in his hoodie and donned his headphones instead, connecting them to his phone rather than ipod. “Okay, I’m back.”

“Well there was none of that.” She confirmed again, easily continuing on. It wasn’t uncommon for him to switch methods. Especially when the idiot kept breaking his aids during episodes and fits. “I’m actually surprised you left so suddenly. I figured you wanted to be friends with them like you always do. I guess you were getting a little spazzy though.”

“I left? But they ditched me.” There was panic, if only because the voice in his mind grew louder and louder, begging and pestering him to return to them and make them pay. Pay for what though? If Futaba was right, when she always was given her ability to listen through his bugged phone, then all was fine. 

“No, you suddenly said you had to leave.”

“What?! I never said that!”

“Calm down, Ven.” She assured, tranquil herself. She knew to be though. If he was panicking, the last thing anyone should do was be strenuous. “I have all your stuff recorded, remember. Do you want me to play it back for you?”

Ventus gulped down what anxieties he held and nodded needlessly. It wasn’t the best idea as his head hit the bottom of the sink, leaving him to hiss and bring his free hand up to press at the shallow wound.   
“Sure.”

“Where do you want me to start?”

When did it start going badly? He had to think. Thank god he’d been replaying it in his mind over and over.

“How about when Roxas came. I think that’s when it started going downhill.”

“Maybe for you, but easy peasy.” She really was full of her own work, even the simplest of tasks. But he loved that about her. It made her strong in his opinion. Now he just wished he could be strong willed like her. 

The recording started up, first at the wrong place, it started with him making the LED comment but Futaba fast forwarded it a bit until it said in Fuu’s amazing voice

_ “Keep moving.” _ Right, she was telling that to Roxas. She sounded the same to say the least. Intimidating yet entrancing. 

_ “I’m going, I’m going. You don’t need to harass me.” _ That part he remembered too. It was rude to him wasn’t it? What came next definitely was if he remembered correctly.

_ “Roxas,”  _ Seifer’s voice. Here he goes with calling him trash though.  _ “What troublemakers he and his friends are.” _

What? That’s not what he heard before. Ven kept listening though.

_ “You don’t like Roxas? But he’s really fun! I wanted to meet his friends and now I finally get to! Can you help me look for them if you know them?” _

_ “I’m not going to help you find troublemakers.”  _ Troublemakers again, a lot more innocent than trash, but why were they considered that? Did Roxas and his friends do something?

_ “But I said Roxas and his friends, not trash.” _

_ “What? I called them troublemakers, not trash. What are you talking about?” _

_ “But they’re my friends.” _

_ “Ven, we’ll be your friends. Just stay away from them. They’re bad for you.” _

_ “We’re friends?” _

_ “Yup, just stick with us and we’ll take care of ya, y’know.” _

_ “Just stick with us and we’ll keep you and your cat safe. We won’t let anyone tease you for being schizophrenic even if someone did leak that.” _

_ “You’re kidding right? How do you even know about all that?” _

_ “Your cat was moving in your bag and popped out for one thing. And a teacher ratted you out so the whole school body knows about you already.” _

There was a bit of silence before Seifer spoke once again.

_ “Stick with us and we’ll keep you safe. Alright?” _

Futaba ended the tape there, speaking up to say “After that, they looked over your schedule to tell you about your teachers and who was good or not, and you said you had to go to which they agreed and let you get to class. They were a bit confused by it though.” She paused a moment before chiming in again. “You okay?”

Again, he nodded to no avail aside from injuring himself once more. Another hiss and a bit of aggravation. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just didn’t get any of that the first time around is all so I’m a little wary of actually going to class and meeting others.” He sighed. “Maybe coming to school was a mistake. God knows it’s hard enough being a streamer. I can only manage that because we stream together as a team and you yell at those that are being harsh.” He dimmed with a pause before bringing his head up again.. “How do you do it?”

“I didn’t used to be confident in myself at all, Ven. I used to be as scared as you. So scared and guilty that I felt like the room I refused to leave would be my tomb.” Futaba sounded pretty emotional about that, it must’ve hit home pretty hard. “But then I met Akira and the rest and they helped me come out of my shell. They freed me, and I want to free you, Ven, so we have to meet. In person.”

“What? You’re coming all the way from Tokyo just to give me a boost?” That was wild to say the least. He’d love to meet Futaba in person though! And Joker! And all their friends. Wait, was she bringing her friends? Would he get to befriend them all? God he hoped so. It made him so giddy that he couldn’t help but want to meet others in return.

“Futaba, you set that up and I’ll see if I can get dad to be accomodating for guests. I have to be on my best behaviour to not get grounded though so I should probably get to class before I get in trouble for ditching too long.” He moved to stand only to hesitate and beam “Thanks for helping me get rid of that voice again though! I dunno what I would have done if it stuck around!”

“Wha?! You were hearing voices? Which one?”

“The one without a name. Sounds like me and Corvus though, but it definitely doesn’t act like either of us. It won’t tell me it’s name. It just says I have to remember and that renaigse are bad like always. Him and Corvus mess with me the most for some reason.”

“They both tell you to harm people right, no name others, and Corvus yourself?”

“Yeah.”

“Well if they ever come up again, just excuse yourself and call me. I’m going to work on getting to you so we can try something that might help.”

“I don’t know what you’ll try that meds can’t fix but you can I guess. At this point I think I might need shock therapy since that’s for extreme cases and it just seems to be getting worse everyday.” Sighing, Ven drooped once more. “I just don’t wanna lose my mind y’know.”

“When we’re done with you, you’ll be good as new!”

“Uh...I’ll take your word for it, anyway, I gotta get to class already.” This time, he actually crawled out from under the sink and stood, putting pressure on an aching back from being hunched over for more than two seconds. “I’ll talk and game with you later if you’re still up.”

“We’ll see if I clock out, just send me a message in the group or solo, either one.” She assured. “Later, Ven. And remember, call me if anything goes wrong. My phone’ll wake me if I’m asleep.”

“Got it, thanks and bye, Futaba!” With that, he finally hung up. For once he wasn’t dreading leaving her side. She was a bit of a clutch, but he was excited. Excited to spread his wings and meet new people! Oh but wait, he kinda needed to hear for that so he pulled his headphones to rest around his neck and replaced everything to be back in their natural order. Now he was ready to face the world.

Back to the task at hand, but what was next. It was mid second period already and that meant art with Dilan apparently. Art! What a great way to start the day! He loved art. Especially drawing Ava because god he wished she was real. She was so kind to him and nurturing. He just wished he could hug her, so drawings were the way to show his appreciation apparently. Most people actually applauded his creative nature even though he was just drawing what he saw on a daily basis. He wasn’t really that creative. Maybe with pranks against Terra he was. He could live with that.

That left him in even higher spirits and with the sudden resolve to prank Terra. Later though. Maybe at lunch. Could he at lunch though? Maybe. But what to do?

“Mr. Sylla.” A calming yet foreboding voice called out, effectively stopping Ventus’ train of thought. Huh, when did he enter the classroom. He sure hoped it was the right one. But damn, he sure traveled far into the room without even realizing. And right up to the teacher too. No wonder he could hear him so well. “You’re late.”

“Oh.” He said initially. It’s okay, he had an alibi. “I was being shown around the school by the student council. Uhh the disciplinary committee I think they are too?” 

Rather than speak, Dilan pointed to a quadrat in the front of the class. “You mean to say they’re you’re alibi when they’ve been here since class started?”

“Uh….” Shit, what are the chances? “can I say I thought I saw them? Y-Y’know, being a schizoid and all.” That could be an excuse right? Since everyone apparently knew anyway? Which teacher gave it away anyway? Was it him?

Dilan narrowed his eyes at Ventus as if searching him for deceit. All he found was a timid boy that couldn’t keep his eyes locked on his own. That could mean more than just a lie though, especially given the boy’s apparent mental illnesses. Perhaps adhd or even just the schizoaffective. Or even anxiety. The possibilities were endless, and he couldn’t quite waste his precious class time grilling someone he couldn’t get a grasp on just yet.

“Just find a seat.”

Ven moved to do just that only to hesitate. “But I can’t hear unless I’m right next to someone, how will I know what you’re saying?” The teacher gave him both a look of sympathy and disapproval. “My hearing aids are kinda broken so they only pick up what’s right next to me.”

Dilan went to open his mouth but was cut off by Seifer speaking up with a raised hand. “He can sit by us and we’ll relay everything.”

He was elated. They truly were friends of his after all. But wait, their table was almost full, would this be alright? What if someone else wanted that spot? Along with those four, there was one other girl with them. One with pitch black hair and stunning blue eyes. She was cute to say the least and left his cheeks heating up at the mere sight. She looked so shy and kept her head down. Did she not like being with them?

Nevertheless, Dilan agreed to it, allowing Ven to take the empty seat across the black haired wonder and besides Fuu. Score. But wait, they were both cute. What was he supposed to do about that. Terra said never to lead girls on because it was rude, and he couldn’t date them both could he? But there were polyamarus ships right? Could he have one? Oh wait, he should show Futaba!

Dilan’s back was turned in favour of a different table, perfect. Wait, what was the assignment? The rest were painting something, should he do that? Maybe after showing Futaba so he brought his phone out and up and snapped a picture of Fuu followed by the mystery girl.

Both of them. No, not just them, the whole table looked up upon hearing the artificial shutter. And Ven was just smiling away and happily kicking his legs as he sent the two photos to his dear friend with the caption 

[Text]: They’re like angels!

“Did you just take a picture of Xion?” That was Fuu. The other girl seemed to look up from her painting as well along with the rest.

“Yeah! I took one of you too because I wanted to show my friend how cute you two were!” Both of them turned a bright red at that, looking to one another while the boys of the table burst into laughter.

“Looks like you two have a secret admirer!” Seifer beamed as the other two boys snickered.

“I-” Fuu began, she couldn’t seem to get the words out though. Xion, as she’d been called didn’t fare much better. She actually looked panicked and like she might cry. 

_ Oh no! _

Ven reached a hand out for hers and gripped it tightly to reassure and ground her. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” With his free hand, he brought it back to scratch awkwardly at the back of his head. “I guess I’m not the best at talking to people yet, but I’d love to get to know you. You seem sweet and I wanna make you happy. Both of you so please, even if I can’t date you, please let me make you happy. All I wanna see is you smiling. Both of you.” He turned to look at a near petrified Fuu for just a moment and give her a warm smile.

“B-But you don’t even know us!” Xion suddenly spoke but it didn’t deter him.

“I know this is my first time out of the house and meeting people for real, but you seem genuine to me, and genuine needs to be protected at all costs and lead to live flourishing lives. So I’ll be your guardian. Your nadaig.”

“Our nadaig?”

“Yeah! It means guardian in Yecht Fradi. My cat taught it to me!”

“Not so loud.” Seifer hushed, finger held up to his mouth.

“Sorry.” Ven chuckled, shrinking a bit self consciously. It didn't last long however as Rai spoke up.

“Your cat taught you a language?”

“Yeah!” He was shushed again leaving an apologetic smile on his face. Ventus carried on however to pull Matir from the bag and placed her on the table. None of the table approved of the sudden cat.

“What are you doing?!” They all hissed in lowered tones. 

“Relax.” He insisted, changing tongues then.  **“Matir, cloak yourself.”**

“What’d you just say?” Seifer asked but Ven held up a finger to tell him to wait. Their panic worsened as Dilan came by the table. A bit late to hide a sudden cat now. And his eyes fell right on the cat while Ven looked triumphant. He merely sighed, fingers pinching at the bridge of his nose. 

“Please don’t bring your pets to school, Mr. Sylla.”

“Aww man. Why didn’t you hide yourself? You said you had cloaking magic.”

**_“I’m not a parlour trick, Ventus. And you shouldn’t get away with breaking rules just because of that.”_ ** _ The voice said.  _ **_“Besides, they’re renaigse, they don’t deserve a spectacle.”_ **

“But you’re the one that slept in my bag without my knowledge.” 

**_“Ventus, I’m not your cat. I’m your mother”_ **

“But you’re also my cat.”

**_“No, I made that cat for you.”_ **

“You made yourself?”

“Mr. Sylla, can you please stop talking to your cat and look at what the rest of the class is doing? You’re supposed to be painting.” God he sounded exhausted.

“But we were having a conversation.” And the rest of the class seemed so amused with how they couldn’t stop snickering and laughing. All of them save for Xion who just kept her head down. It was a bit humiliating to say the least. 

Ventus bowed his own head. “Sorry…”

The rest of the class was rather uneventful. The blond wasted his time taking a piece of paper and painting a black void with eyes while the rest kept to themselves. There were glances at him and further remarks and snickers, but he couldn’t hear them unless they were bolstered again. That kinda helped, but he couldn’t help but fear the worst so when the bell rang, he was relieved.

Leaving their art on the table, Ven scooped Matir up from the table she slept on, hugged her tight to his chest, and placed her back in his bag.

“Mr. Sylla, please bring that cat to the office.”

“No.” He said simply before shuffling off from the room, glad to be deaf from those trying to reach out to him. Ventus hurried out, clutching his bagged cat close to his chest as he practically ran to his next class. To say the least, the next two were so boring that he couldn’t help but fall asleep during them. Maybe that was because of his pills and lack of sleep, along with the loss of adrenaline though. The only reason he stopped sleeping was because it was homeroom. Or rather, he did sleep there too, until Luxord hit him on the head with a rolled up book.

Dazed, Ven lifted his head from the pool of drool sticking to his face. The teacher grimaced before having to move away a moment and come back with a roll of paper towels. “Do us all a favour and sanitize yourself.” 

He still didn’t quite know what was going on, but he took what was offered to him and stalled.

“The desk and your face, Mr. Sylla.”

It kinda clicked but barely. That just seemed to...well actually he wasn’t sure what Luxord felt. He didn’t look angry, but he didn’t look particularly pleased either. 

“It’s okay, sir, I’ve got it.” A rather high pitched voice assured. She took the paper towels and with a bit of a grimace, started soaking up the mess the blond created in his sleep. Ventus sat up in the meantime, rubbing fisted hands at tired eyes. While he did, the stranger even went the extra mile to clean his face. By then he was finally awake enough to understand.

The girl before him had black hair and silver eyes. She wore a red cape with a matching hood. A black blouse with red trim and a black and red skirt of the same. To top it off, she had black stockings on and black combat boots, tied with red laces. He supposed red and black was her colour scheme like black and white was his.

During his observance, she’d tossed the soiled napkins into the wastebin Luxord had brought to her. Of course she gave her thanks to him. Another genuine person? No, would she make fun of him too?

“You look pretty dead.” She remarked. “Did you get enough sleep last night?”

“I…” His eyes trailed. “I kinda played a game all weekend with my friend so I forgot to sleep.”

Leaning in close to him, she stated “I. Must. Know. What this game is if it’s so fun.”

“Uh...Splatoon 2?” 

That left her...uhh actually what was she doing? She looked about ready to explode with how she took air in and held it. 

“I love that game! Me and my team play it all the time!”

Ven was left to perk up this time, actually waking up a bit more. “You have a team? I have a partner, but not an actual team.”

“Yup, team Rwby!” She beamed, balled hand held high in the air. “Except Weiss and Blake don’t really like to play so it’s mainly just me and my sister Yang facing off against our friends, the treacherous team Jnpr.”

Ventus was stunned with absolute joy. More gamers, and two whole teams of them even. He had to meet them!

Holding a proud thumb up to point at herself, she proclaimed. “My name’s Ruby Rose by the way.”

“And you’re both late to lunch so please get out of my classroom so I can go too.” Luxord butt in.

“Oops sorry, professor.” Ruby chuckled awkwardly before turning back to Ven. “Let’s go to lunch together and I’ll introduce you to my friends!”

Plenty motivation to stop moping and sleeping. He stood, grabbing his bag alongside Ruby. God, her bag looked so heavy around her back. Did she carry all her books at once? That must hurt. He knew he sure didn’t. He used his agility and small frame to brave the crowd and reach his locker to swap between each class. Only cats and small things were allowed in his bag apparently.

Though speaking of pets, on their way to lunch, a head popped out of Ruby’s bag. A dog head. One that was black and white like Matir but with a grey muzzle. The dog looked at the stunned boy and really he couldn’t be sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

“Do you have a dog in your bag by chance?”

“Shhh don’t out Zwei like that.” She turned back, hissing passed a hushing finger. 

“Zwei kinda outed themself.”

She turned to look then, narrowing her eyes at the disobedient dog. The disapproving look lasted about a second before her features melted to those of pure joy and elation. Ruby grabbed the small dog and pulled them out of her bag to give them a big hug as they carried on to walk.

“Aren’t you afraid they’ll take Zwei away if you flaunt them around like that?”

“They’re not going to take him away. Everyone already knows I have him. He doesn’t hurt anyone so no one cares. Besides, the headmaster is more concerned with our mental health than our studies so having a support animal is a-okay to him.”

“They’re actually alright with animals then?”

“Yep, as long as they don’t cause trouble and not everyone brings them. We can’t have a zoo after all, even if that would be amazing!” They were nearing the cafeteria so she put Zwei back in her bag and patted him down. Still, it was enough to put Ven’s mind at ease. It was an odd school, but maybe one he could get behind after all. He knew Lea for sure wouldn’t mind Matir, but he kinda slept through that class. Whoops. Actually, what happened during the two classes he slept through? Did Matir escape? A quick check showed that she too was sleeping. Thank god. Definitely a relief and it allowed him to continue his task at hand, following Ruby.

She led him straight to a table full of rather colourful characters. Two black haired students were reading novels while snacking on shared celery, another with red hair was both shoveling down her mashed potatoes while simultaneously crushing peas into them with her spoon. One with beautiful white hair had a magazine she was glossing over while she ate with utensils. Actually two had magazines, the white haired girl’s was about fashion while the blonde’s was about motorcycles. And that left the remaining two. A blond boy and a red haired girl that seemed to chit chat casually and happily. It was to say the least a beautiful sight for Ven. One that left tears in his eyes, he was so happy. 

“Whoa, why’re you crying?” The white haired girl asked with disgust. Rude, but she didn’t seem too bad. Not if these were her friends.

“I’m sorry.” Ven rubbed the tears from his eyes. “I just had a rough first day is all. I kinda got made fun of for talking to my cat.”

“What’s wrong with that, we all talk to Zwei all the time.” The redhead pulverizing her food shrugged, hand holding the spoon brought up to aid in the action. That left potatoes to fall to the ground though. “Oops.”

Odd, but uplifting to see them so uncaring about things. Well save for the white haired girl, she looked disgusted and appalled. He carried on nonetheless. “Well I hear things so I hear her talk to me, so I can actually converse with her, and that’s laughable apparently.”

The other red haired girl spoke up this time. Her voice was so calm and nurturing. He couldn’t help but crave it. “Well I wouldn’t let it get you down, umm-”

“Oh uh, my name’s Ventus, but you can call me Ven!”

“Well Ventus, it’s very nice to meet you.” She bowed her head before bringing a hand up to place against her chest. “My name is Pyrrha, and this here is Jaune.” She states for the boy sitting beside her.

“I’m Nora!” The one with the potatoes beamed feverishly as she slammed a fisted hand against the table.

“Lie Ren.” The black haired boy reading stated followed by his companion.

“Blake.”

“Weiss Schnee.” The white haired girl replied with the same about of disgust as before. Or was that arrogance? He couldn’t quite tell. Reading people was hard. Schnee though, that sounded so familiar. Not just familiar, he knew it, but before he could say anything on the matter, the last one spoke with an absurd but jealous inducing amount of confidence.

“And my name’s Yang!”

Pyrrha took back over again then while Ruby took a seat besides Weiss. “Don’t fret about what others do, Ventus, it will lead to nothing but ruin.” Motioning out to the group, she carried on “Just enjoy the things you have and move on from what pains you. I know it’s hard, but we’ll help you through everything and we won’t make fun of you, I assure you that.” 

It was a little hard to believe as the first people he heard say that kinda laughed at him for both finding people cute and talking to himself. Pyrrha felt safe though so he wanted to believe her. 

“I got kinda made fun of last time, but can I take a picture of you guys. To show to my friend in Tokyo I mean. She’s been helping me through today and I wanna show her I made actual friends.”

“By all means.” Jaune this time. 

They all scooted their chairs together, Yang, Ruby, and Nora giving others bunny ears while Ven stepped back and held up his phone to snap a shot. Even if he just saw it in person, it was even better seeing it captured on his phone. It felt real that way so none of this was fake. Immediately, he sent the picture to Futaba with the caption

[Text]: I made friends!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said this was a vent fic originally, and it is going along with a story I've experienced in real life. Some things are changed thanks to putting people to characters and the characters don't always align with the people so it's not the most accurate retelling as I have to put it accurate to both the characters and the people involved, but moreso the characters lest they be ooc. It's also not completely the same because everything for me happened online whereas for Ven it's in a school.
> 
> Along with that, the situation this is based on is now resolved (though I'm still bitter at the community as a whole for it.) I am not prolonging it or starting fights with this story. I merely take my experiences and make stories out of them. It's cathartic and I can't help but like basing my stories on true events. To me that makes them more special. And before you think I'm demonizing people, let it be known, this is my view of the situation. It may be skewed as my look on the world is forced to be, but it's how I saw everything. Consider this both relaxing to me and an explanation for my side that I never got to tell.


	5. Nightmares

Lunch was great! So full of fun and joy, and friends! Terra and Aqua even joined after the picture too, but that only meant Ven getting his face shoved into the plate of food he’d finally gotten. He knew Terra was sus. Should’ve seen it coming that he was the impostor. 

As for the rest of classes, well he kinda slept through them. It was hard to stay awake when a teacher was doing their job. Ven was told later by Ruby that Luxord threw quite a few playing cards at his sleeping form. He didn’t remember any of that. Honestly, the rest of the day was a bit of a daze. He really should’ve slept apparently. Maybe next time so no staying up with Futaba. 

Actually, now that he was home, it seemed like the perfect time  _ to _ sleep, leaving him clocked out on the couch like a slobbish drunk, arm lazily draped over the side and all. Matir even needed to squirm her way out from underneath him.

“Ven, don’t squish mama cat.” Terra scolded. In rebuttal, Ventus reached up for the hearing aid and plucked it out, blindly dropping it onto the coffee table across from him all whilst keeping his head down against the cushions of the couch.

“Mama’s safe, Terra, don’t worry.” Aqua chimed from the kitchen where she began getting food for said cat. “Take Ven to rest up in his room. I heard he slept through most of his classes after the shine of school finally dimmed for him.”

“You think he’ll be up for meeting new people tomorrow?”

“Is that really a question, Terra?”

“Right, it’s Ven. He’s always willing to meet new friends. He must’ve been really tired then if he couldn’t do it today.”

“Well, he didn’t sleep at all, and his medicine typically knocks him out anyway.”

“Right...” Terra replied a bit solemnly. His gaze roamed to the sleeping body of their brother. A common sight if only thanks to his habits and medication. “Isn’t there a way to make him stable and alive? Sure there are bursts where he’s awake, but usually he’s either asleep or nodding off.”

“Unfortunately there’s not much we can do about that. We’ve gone through countless medicines and honestly, not many of them worked. His symptoms look to be driven by stress, and no matter how happy he looks to be out of the house, he’s going to be stressed about a new environment. Even then, he still hallucinates at home because even here is a stressful environment for him.”

Terra gritted his teeth, hands clenched so tight, his skin whitened. “It’s all that asshole’s fault then! If it weren’t for him and everyone keeping Ven inside, he’d be fine!”

Making her way over to him rather than the feasting cat, Aqua held up two open hands and motioned for him to calm himself. “Terra,” she hissed in a hushed tone, pointing off to the slumbering child. No doubt he was already drooling all over the couch. That aspect she sighed with defeat over. “Take him upstairs and we can continue this talk alright. It would be bad if we stressed him out even more.”

“It’s alright, he took his hearing aid out.” He assured. Still, Terra donned a smile and to avoid a drooling mess on his shoulder from the boy, picked him up bridal style. He didn’t wake in the slightest at the sudden movements. Unsurprising though. Even without the lack of sleep, he’d be hard to wake. Maybe he should get him an energy drink instead of sending him to bed so early. This would only disrupt his sleep schedule after all. Or no, who was he kidding, Ven would still have to be woken up later on.

“Start dinner and I’ll be down to help you.” The elder boy instructed with an easy-going smile. Aqua gave a playful salute back, heading once more to the kitchen while Terra proceeded upstairs with their baby brother.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

He wasn’t sure how long he’d slept, but by the time he’d woken, the house was silent and dark. It would be creepy if he wasn’t used to being awake at such a time. Also the silence wasn’t exactly new since he’d deafened himself. Nothing his trash hearing aids couldn’t help, leaving him to reach for where they were usually set on the nightstand. They were there. That was good. Even with them on it was still silent. Perfect. Waste of time.

  
  


Still, this wasn’t good. At this rate, he’d be tired for school again. Leading for him to snuggle back up in his blankets. Cozy. Seemed like Terra took his shoes off for him. What a pal he was.

Ventus snuggled against the blankets, burrowing into them for warmth and burying his face in his pillows. They were a bit moist, but he rolled over to spare him that fate. 

**_“Ventus.”_ **

He groaned, “Not right now, mom.”

**_“Yes, right now. You need to stop it before it’s too late. You need to heal, not be destroyed again.”_ **

“I know you say you’re my mom, but I really never have any idea what you’re talking about.”

**_“Outside. Listen to the earth. It will tell you.”_ **

“What? You want me to go outside to get kidnapped? That’s not very good parenting.”

**_“Ventus!”_ ** The familiar voice shouted. As if on cue, a flash of lightning struck. All he saw was the flash behind his eyelids, but the roar of thunder was so threateningly close. Even he could hear that, though it was faint for him. It had to be close if he could hear it though. 

Regardless, the sound got him up in an instant, panic beating heavily against his chest. His breath quickened and eased within moments as he looked through the dark for who spoke to him. Who was he kidding though, it was his cat. 

A sigh escaped him. He was probably just hallucinating again. He rubbed balled fists at his eyes. Woken by hallucinations, yippee. What time even was it anyway? A quick look at his phone showed it was 12am. This time a groan left him and he fell back against his bed. A bed that was suddenly very hard.

Ventus grimaced as he tried and failed to get comfortable. Impossible. It was cold, hard, and breezy. Breezy? He brought his head up, eyes begrudgingly opening to take in the sight of his backyard. 

“Did I sleepwalk again?” He grumbled to himself. Once more he rubbed for the sleep from his eyes. Ventus pushed himself off the ground and moved for the house. 

_ “4 2 6 2 10 5 1” _ A distorted voice sang behind him. So close to the door, but still, that’s nothing he’d ever heard before with Matir or the sins. It wasn’t an all encompassing voice either. There was a source. Didn’t Matir just have that too though? Was he losing it?

Nevertheless, Ven turned to find the culprit only to see nothing. Odd. Maybe he was hallucinating after all. Finding naught left him turning back to the door. He tried the handle to no avail. That was also strange. The door had to be locked from inside, so apparently someone locked him out after he slept walked out. That wasn’t very nice. 

Well at least he had his phone right? Patting himself down, he found that no, he did not in fact have it. Of course not. Why would a sleep walker have intelligence or foresight. He couldn’t help but bring a hand up to smack his palm against his head. 

That’s okay, his window was usually open so he just had to scale the house a bit and crawl in like a spidermonkey. Easy. 

Moving back if only to stretch out his arms, he cracked his fingers as if he was about to perform an impressive break in. 

_ “4 2 6 2 10 5 1” _

Again with that song. How was it even a song? They were just numbers weren’t they? They seemed so familiar though. 

Regardless, he turned almost with dread as anxiety and fear washed over his body. His movements were stiff as he practically looked over his shoulder to see the five glowing colours in the woods connecting to his backyard.

He understood immediately, he was being hunted. How did he know that though. What was this? Why was he so afraid of things that probably weren’t even real? Oh wait, he always was with new things. Or well, it was hit or miss. Sometimes he was fearful, others he took it like a champ. No real rhyme or reason to it apparently. Maybe it depended on his mood.

The glowing moved in closer then, uncaring of his thought process, and forming into bodies and patterns. A shriek escaped him. It wasn’t his own but it came from him. It was a girl’s though. And without his permission, his hands banged on the glass doors before him and frantically tried the door once more. It wouldn’t open and those people were closing in. 

That’s when he noticed it. His reflection. It wasn’t him, but instead that of a young girl, possibly his age or younger. She had on a filthied and torn white nightgown, long orange hair, and blue eyes. Her feet were bare and pricked and bloodied as were her arms and hands.

_“4 2 6 2 10 5 1_ _  
_ _I told you not to play my game.”_ The voice sang again, this time much closer.

He turned around to see them more clearly. Five coloured and glowing outfits, all with their own themes.

The one that stood out the most rode a board that glowed a bright neon green on its underside. It hovered above the air. The rest of that one was covered much like the entire group. The face mask they wore bore an orange jack o’ lantern smile while their sleeves were adorned with green glowing vines that lead from their shoulders to their fingertips. The rest of them was covered and hidden in black clothing.

The next one was much the same, black hood up to obscure their visage. This one’s mask was a neon pink stitched cat face while their sleeves were blank but their hands were decorated with pink glowing paw prints and claws.

Much like that one, there was one with a silver wolf’s mask, and just like the cat, their arms were blank, leaving just the hands for the silver paws and claws.

Then there was one with a purple glowing witch’s mouth. Purple runes lining their sleeves and swirls accenting their hands and fingers.

One more after that. This last one had teal gills on their mask and scales running up their arms. Nothing appeared on their hands this time though. 

“Marvelous everyone, you managed to corner her.” The voice was masculine, clear as someone emerged from beyond the rest. He held a camera, and his outfit was nothing like the rest as it wasn’t black nor did it glow in any way. “Now, Strelitzia, if you’ll come here, we’ll be able to do this the easy way.”

A shriek escaped through Ven and he turned back to bang on the doors again. “Help me!” The girl’s shrill voice shouted. Ven knew no one would hear her though. Everyone in his house wore earplugs if only because he kept people up at night playing instruments in the hallway. But if he was the girl known as Strelitzia, where was his body? He should be able to wake up right? Or was he too tired. 

Wait, this had to be a dream then. He was sleeping. Of course. There was no way he was suddenly some girl named Strelitzia. 

Why did that name sound familiar though?

“ _ 4 2 6 2 10 5 1 _

_ Now you’re _

_ GONE!”  _

The distorted voice screeched. He held his hands up to protect his ears from the painful noise, face scrunched with dissatisfaction. 

“Well?” The one with the clear voice groaned, “Get her.” He said as if that should have been obvious. The group moved passed the apparent leader, maneuvering around the in-ground pool while the jack o’ lantern masked on hovered over it with speed he couldn’t match. He tried too, tried to run around and to the front of the house.

There wasn’t a way out of it, the jack o’ lantern one intercepted him before he even had the chance to move. 

_ “4 2 6 2 10 5 1 _

_ I told you not to play my game _

_ 4 2 6 2 10 5 1 _

_ Now you’re _

_ GONE!” _

So they were the one singing. Creepy, but why’d such a weird song seem so familiar?

“Great job, Jack, you caught her.” The ringleader praised him with his seemingly sarcastic tone. “Now let’s finish the job.”

Up close, the man’s appearance was prevalent. Black hat with red ribbon and feather. Orange hair that swooped over one eye. White petticoat and silver scarf, black pants and shoes, and a black cane with a red tip. He kinda looked like a mob boss.

“Witch, Siren, you’re up.” The leader snapped his fingers.

"With pleasure." A different voice cooed, same type of distortion as Jack's.

The ones with the runes and scales moved towards the cornered boy, he shivered from both the cold and fear. They grabbed either arm despite his protests. He was stronger than that, but supposedly being a small girl, his original strength was for naught. He still fought with all his might. This may be a dream, but he’d be damned if it ended this badly. It felt so real too. The cold night air, their harsh grasps. Everything made him feel like he was truly there.

Try as he might, Ventus was dragged off by the purple and teal figures. He struggled against them, but they were too much together, and they brought him towards the family’s pool. The pair kicked against the backs of his knees, forcing his bare and frail legs to fall and scrape against the ground. Ven’s arms were pulled back while two hands were placed on the back of his head. He strained to keep himself up, but they pushed against him, slowly lowering his head towards the water. It was tough, too much so, but he fought as hard as he could against them. Even with his attempts, he still found his head being submerged. 

Ventus screamed into the freezing water, bubbles surfacing from wasted air. They didn’t let up even as he struggled. Or no, they did. He was allowed to pull his head out, splashing water all around as he gasped for breath. How long had he been under before that?

“That’s good, keep her like that for a moment.” The leader mused, camera aimed directly at Ven’s suffering. Dream or not, he could swear he could feel how cold the water was and the lack of air. “That’s enough. Finish her off.”

Just as he’d regained what air he’d lost, his head was dunked in once more, a shrill scream breaking through the air as he was thrust back into the water once again. Ven struggled to pull himself up, kicked against them even, at least until his legs were held down. He couldn’t get out of this. It was terrifying even for a dream. His lungs burned and froze all at once. He felt like he was dying. He could practically feel the tears slipping from his eyes and getting lost in the water.

_ Terra. Aqua. _

_ Help me! _

He couldn’t think anymore. The intense pain was fading just as his vision had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I'm gonna get a little less straightforward with how this is a vent fic. Still is, but let's get creative with it.
> 
> If you want to know the song "Jack" is singing, it's Elisa Lam by Skynd.
> 
> Also, I don't know why the note for Futaba is on every chapter. I don't know how to fix that.


	6. Is all well?

Ventus awoke with a start, darting up from his position on the bed to hunch over in an upright status. He gasped for breath as his lungs practically burned and yearned for it. A few moments were taken to do just that, regain what he’d supposedly lost to his family’s pool.

_ “What was that?”  _ A female voice asked. It was inquisitive. Confident even in its questioning. Invi perhaps. 

_ “Who was that girl more importantly.” _ Ira.

_ “Or those masked villains.”  _ Aced.

_ “They’re not still in the backyard are they?”  _ Ava pondered,  _ “Ven, you should go check. Make sure it was nothing but a dream.” _

Steadying himself, Ven was finally able to look at all who crowded around his room. Everyone huh. Save for Corvus it seemed. Thank god. Oh fuck wait, nope, he was in the corner by himself, giving that creepy glass eyed look with his dead eyes that rivaled Ven’s blue. 

“Why why why is everyone here?” Ventus practically pleaded to himself, sleeved hands clenched to shield his eyes from those that crowded him. 

No one seemed to have an answer for him. Of course not, they  _ were _ him, they only knew as much as him. 

“Who’s all here, Ven?” That time it was Aqua. A nice, real face that Ven couldn’t help but reach for and squish her cheeks together. Pulling Aqua down, he leaned in close to her and hissed

“Everyone…”

She chuckled. “Well you did go to bed early last night. Did you take your medicine or did you forget to?”

He thought about it a moment, trying rather hard to come up with an answer. The previous day was such a daze though, leaving him to shrug.

“Honestly, I have no idea.”

“Well breakfast is ready so how about you take your pill now and hopefully it clears the room for you.” Aqua was always so nice. So soft and nurturing. It was hard not to be relieved in her presence, even if the world seemed to crumble around him.

“Oh right! Aqua!” That’s right, the dream he had! “Do you know anyone by Strelitzia?!”

“Strelitzia? You mean Lauriam’s little sister? She’s a classmate of yours isn’t she? Do you like her?” That brought a knowing smile to her lips, one that left Ven red, but he tried to fight through it for more serious orders of business.

“N-no! I saw her drown in our backyard! She’s not there right?! Or those masked guys right?!”

Placing a hand on his head, she felt for a fever. It was a bit needless though as they’d already figured he forgot his medication. “No one’s in the backyard, Ven. Me and Terra were just out there and it was fine.”

“You’re sure?!”

“Positive. If it’ll help, I can give Lauriam a call, or you can look at Strelitzia’s page online. She usually posts about food so I’m sure she mentioned her breakfast by now. It’s always so cute.”

That actually sounded like a good plan. 

“Make the call, Aqua, I’ll check her page.”

He already moved for his laptop while she looked rather dumbstruck. “You’re serious?”

“As serious as the illness that killed my mom.”

“And your humour never ceases to amaze me, Ven.” Aqua remarked. “How about we just see them at school. They’re always there early since Lauriam’s a teacher. So how about we just get there early and you can see them for yourself. You’ll be more assured if you see it with your own eyes rather than online or over the phone anyway.”

He halted in his efforts. That was...a really good point. He would still doubt the genuinity of the situation if he went through technology, especially if he was off his meds. Hell, he might still think seeing her in person would be fake, but he had to hope for the best.

Placing his laptop to the side, he bounced on his bed. “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” 

“Yeah, you definitely missed your pills.” She chuckled. “Make sure to take them at the breakfast you  _ will _ be having so get dressed and come downstairs.”

Easy. Well eating wasn’t. Eating was always hard to manage without throwing it up. Especially scarfing it down to be done faster. He managed though, or kinda. He was a bit nauseous for the car ride to school. Having the window open and being in the front seat after kicking Terra to the back helped. Terra complained, but details really.

Once they got to school, Ventus practically darted from the car, dashing to the entrance and soon through the halls. Where could she be? Where could Lauriam be, he might know. 

_ “Probably his classroom.” _

“I hate you so much, Gula.” He remarked back just as dully and spitefully. Though the leopard had a good point. Unfortunately. Know it all asshole.

“Lauriam!” Ventus practically shouted as he turned into the room, grappling on the doorframe to swing himself in.

“Oh, so you’re alive today. Should I expect that for my class later or will you be asleep again?”

“Probably dead if my meds have anything to say about it when they kick in, but that’s besides the point. Where’s your sister?”

Lauriam raised a brow then pointed to the back of the room. Ven’s attention fell to the back where he noted Pyrrha working with the girl of the hour on a pie. “Hello, Ventus.” The red hand waved.

“Pyrrha!” Ventus beamed. He scuttled over to the pair to take in more what they were up to as well as be able to hear them. Pyrrha was at work while Strelitzia was positioning her phone to take a picture of the cat decorated pie. “Aww, that looks adorable. Does it taste as good as it looks?”

“Aren’t you anorexic, Ventus.” Lauriam asked, annunciating so Ven could hear him. “Why are you even in home ec?”

“I have a lot of questions. First off how do you know about that exactly? Also, eating disorder, not anorexia.”

“Elrena leaked your medical records and had a ball making fun of you to her class so it spread. It said you couldn’t decide whether you were anorexic or bulimic.”

“Come to think of it, you bought food yesterday for lunch, but you barely ate any of it. Are you afraid to, Ventus?” Pyrrha asked.

“Don’t make me eat.” He insisted a bit harshly. “I just don’t like eating.”

“But you were just interested in our pie so you must like food.” Strelitzia this time.

“Maybe the aesthetic of it, but not the taste.”

“You just said taste though.” Pyrrha again.

“It’s okay if you got bullied for eating before, Ven.” Strel assured. “We won’t harass you about it, so you should eat.”

Grumbling and slouching, “And how exactly do you know about that part?”

“That part was Terra ranting and raving about your grandfather in my class all the time.” Lauriam admitted. 

“Terra took home ec?”

“Yes.” The pink haired teacher nodded. “He always insisted on making you something irresistible so you’d eat. He was never any good though. Worst student in my class really.”

Ventus couldn’t help but laugh at that. Terra trying to cook was something rare to see, but even at home, he usually set off the smoke alarms so typically Aqua was in charge of cooking and baking. He never knew his brother actually tried to get better though. 

“Now why is it that you were asking for my sister. Did you need her notes because you slept through all your classes?”

“What makes you think I slept through all of them?”

“She’s in all of them.”

“Oh.” Ven looked back at her. “You are?”

“Me and Jaune are also in all of your classes, Ventus.” Pyrrha mused.

“Wait, really?” He asked and she nodded.

“So what’d you need me for, Ven? You seemed pretty panicked when you came in.”

“Oh! I saw you get drowned by a group of guys in my backyard so I wanted to make sure you were okay.” He said almost too casually. All three occupants of the room stopped what they were doing to process what he’d just said.

“Please keep my sister out of your hallucinations, Ventus.” Lauriam just about growled.

Ven’s attention turned down for him to fiddle with his sleeves. He brought one up to chew on rather nervously. 

“So you eat when you’re nervous.” Pyrrha remarked. “I think I see now.”

“You see? See what?” Ven asked, ceasing his gnawing if only for a moment. 

“You eat when you’re nervous, you’re schizophrenic so you’re always nervous. Terra said you were bullied for your weight and eating and now you don’t eat but instead chew on your sleeves and fingers as I’ve heard.”

Ven groaned then. “Who told you about the gnawing on fingers part?”

“That was spread around school so probably Elrena.”

Again, a frustrated groan escaped him. Before he could make any further remark about it however, Strelitzia spoke up.

“Should I be worried that you saw me be drowned?”

“It’s probably just the ravings of a lunatic, Strel, don’t mind him.” The teacher huffed. 

“It felt so real though!”

“Ventus.” He was warned. “Keep talking about this and I’ll blackmail you into getting expelled.”

“Laury, don’t be mean, he was just concerned.” Strelitzia smiled, taking Ven’s sleeved hands into her own. They were slimy and gross from saliva, but she tried to get past that by pushing his sleeves up. The moment skin was shown, he panicked, pushing her away. 

“Hey!” Lauriam shouted at him. Ven’s attention was on his now revealed flesh however. He could already see it now. The porcelain coating his skin. Scary. So scary. Where was Corvus then? He couldn’t see past the others. He had to be here though, he was doing this. He knew it. He always did it.

“I’m s-sorry, but I have to go.” Ven tried to excuse himself. Tears stung at his eyes and his breath quickened as he began to move away from the pair and passed the teacher. Said teacher moved to intercept him however, standing in his path of the door. “Please get out of the way, I need to go to the bathroom.” He pleaded, fingers being gnawed on ever so vigorously. 

“I see, so you missed your medication then. That explains a lot” He stated bluntly. “Pyrrha, Strel, help me take him to the office.” The pair came up to Ventus alongside Lauriam and hesitantly grabbed either arms as Lauriam began to guide them.

“N-No, I just need to go to the bathroom. Please!”

“Sorry, Ven, but we can’t let you cut yourself up in the bathroom.”

“So you really do hurt yourself then?” Pyrrha asked mournfully.

As they moved him, he only panicked more and more as he was being denied his true sense of solace. 

“Please, I’m not going to hurt myself! I swear I just have to go. That’s all, really!”

**_“You’re going to hurt someone.”_ ** His mother’s voice insisted. Through the haze of illusions and people, a new one stood out. One dressed in blue feathered robes and baggy blue pants, finished with brown snow boots. Actually, they looked ready for winter overall. To really top it off, was the fox skull they wore over their visage, the top half covered their eyes while the bottom was hung by the hinged jaw just over their chin. Along with that, they were hooded so he didn’t get a good look at their visage, but they seemed so familiar. Actually, they looked kinda like Ava if Ava was older and more...naturey. 

The newcomer that no one else seemed to see, another hallucination perhaps, pressed a hand to Ventus’ head. It was calming to say the least.

**_“You have to remember for now.”_ **

There was clarity, and the panic stopped if only to give way to a surge of anger.

The next thing Ven knew, he was waking up in an office in a chair across from a scarred yet handsome blond man. The nameplate on the desk claimed his name was Constantin D’orsay. So familiar just like the man before him.

That aside, his wrists hurt behind him, leading him to try and rub at them and be rid of the source of discomfort. He couldn’t, instead finding his hands linked together. Handcuffs? 

Panicked, he looked to the man before him for answers.

“Ventus, my dear friend, are you alright?” He asked.

“Am I handcuffed?”

“Well you were proclaiming that you’d kill everyone, or every renaigse as you put it. Do you remember any of that?”

Shaking his head, Ven stared wide eyed at the other as if thirsting for more information.

“Don’t worry, you didn’t harm anyone. You merely scared people and made them uncomfortable so to give them peace of mind, we’re going to keep you here for the day until your siblings can bring you home.

“But what about class? And what about Strelitzia?! What if she’s still in danger?!”

“You’re meant to be nothing more than an observer, Ventus. You shouldn’t be trying to change anything.”

“But-!”

“But given I know who’s behind it as I’ve been tracking them, I’ll allow you to step in if you’d like.” Constantin offered a warm smile “Do show me your the you I remember will you.”

“The me you remember?” Ven asked with a tilted head of confusion. Wait, that’s not important right now. “You know who those masked people are? Did I tell you while I was blacked out and threatening everyone apparently?”

“I was told, yes. And I’m aware of their group because I have eyes everywhere.”

Giddy at the idea, Ventus practically beamed. “Are you also a hacker with your own network of cameras?!”

“Heavens no.” Constantin waved off. “I listen to nature. I’m not good with technology in the slightest.”

“Oh.” Ventus dimmed. “Well want me to teach you since I’m apparently gonna be here a while? I’m pretty good at computers and stuff, but I’m not sure how well I can do from here and without my hands”

“The cuffs aren’t coming off, dear friend. Forgive me, but they’ll have my head if I release you now.”

“Well that’s disappointing, but I’ll try to teach from here.” Very much so, but he’d attempt anyway. Where to start though. 

Actually. 

“So what all do you know about computers?” Ven decided on.

“I have to admit, not very much.” Constantin replied. He looked at the closed laptop sitting on his desk. “This was just part of the job. I’m not even accustomed with using it. I’m afraid I won’t fair well with trying. I’m not overly aware of technology to begin with.”

“Just like you’re not aware of how common people talk it seems.” Ven observed, tilting his head to the side. “How old are you exactly.”

“Only four years older than you, my dear friend.” He stood then, walking to the window of the room. It was shielded, draped over by dark curtains. With the sun bearing down on them, Ven couldn’t quite make out the colour. His eyes didn’t stay on them long enough anyway as Constantin threw them open with such grandeur. His hands cupped one another behind his back, and Ventus could’ve sworn that he saw a fancy red and blue coat with golden trim adorning the man’s shoulders. It felt so familiar. Even the scenery seemed to change from the drab office to one of a grand hall in front of a large open and shining window. 

Tears stung at the younger blond’s eyes as he took the familiar sight in. With a bit of difficulty, he stood from a seat he couldn’t quite tell whether was comfortable or not. Probably would have been better had it not been for the handcuffs. Even those seemed to fade in favour of the illusion before him. Something still felt off though. What? He couldn’t seem to figure it out.

“What is it you see, my adorable friend?”

Ventus hesitated a moment. Talking about hallucinations never boded well for him so maybe he shouldn’t say. He got called a lunatic and treated poorly for just warning Strelitzia after all. And somehow, he felt anger towards the pair well inside him for it. It felt sticky, like hot tar. His head burned at the mere thought, practically boiling him alive.

Ventus grunted, hunching forward and gasping for breath.

“Ventus?” Constantin asked, concern clear in his tone. He moved to the paling and sweating child only for Ventus to collapse against him.

It burned!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Constantin you f**k. You're ruining my plans. 
> 
> Well hopefully this story doesn't take the drastic turn that Connie wants. I'm having such a hard time fighting my characters for the plot. They all want their own damn things and have their own agendas apparently.
> 
> Also, my friend said Constantin was gaslighting Ven so I'm curious to see how others view him. 
> 
> This chapter wasn't the best though, so hopefully the quality goes up. I've already rewritten this chapter three times so that might be why, I was also discouraged to write this chapter because I haven't gotten many people interested so that makes continuing difficult admittedly. And I don't really have beta readers anymore and the one person I did show it to seemed to like it so I'll place my faith in them that this chapter does not in fact suck. Hard to do straightforward things when the narration follows Ven's point of view which is schizophrenic and adhd driven so that must make it jarring but I like writing in the character's point of view so as if they narrated it.
> 
> The chapter feels a bit rushed, but that's honestly just how Ven's mind works. It darts back and forth. From one thing to the next so it's hard to keep it normal and slow when Ven's just what's this? What's that? What's this? What's that?   
> I'm also admittedly used to rping so writing long things are difficult for me to do without losing focus. I usually stop around 20 pages for each chapter so.


	7. Why can't things be normal?

[Nadaig-Awelasamen]: I think I found us a target.

[Italian-gentleman]: Aren’t I the job finder here?

[Nadaig-Awelasamen]: This is a good one. Trust me, the viewers’ll love it. A sickeningly sweet girl named Strelitzia. Pretty, innocent, and judging by her online profile, she likes taking pictures of food (how original) and animals that she finds on walks. There’s plenty with her and her brother too. So let’s give the people what they want while ripping someone’s heart out.

[Ice-gentlewoman]: Are we really ripping someone’s heart out?

[Nadaig-Awelasamen]: No, as much I know you’d love to mutilate someone, we’re going emotionally. I can’t wait to see Lauriam writhe at school when we post a picture of her death on her profile. It makes me giddy just thinking about it.

[Fall-Maiden]: Causing chaos hmm, finally something worth doing.

[Mercury-Maiden]: So we aren’t actually ripping someone’s heart out then?

[Spring-Maiden]: Learn to read! Also change your name!

[Mercury-Maiden]: But I just changed it to match you and Cinder’s.

[Fall-Maiden]: Wolf, you’re clearly inept at anything but engineering aren’t you?

[Mercury-Maiden]: I am not!

[Spring-Maiden]: You’re using your own name for your profile on top of using our real names!

[Mercury-Maiden]: It’s fine, with the tag of maiden, they’ll be looking for a girl instead of a boy. Besides, this is a secure chat isn’t it? No one’ll see it anyway.

[Italian-Gentleman]: As fascinating as your inferior brain is, Wolf, I have to get on with the job. What’s in it for us, Jack? There’s no buyer this time so I’m having to assume it’s just you being homicidal. What? Did school not go well today? So sad but not my problem.

[Nadaig-Awelasamen]: Don’t patronize a god!

[Ice-Gentlewoman]: You’re awfully uptight today, Jack. This one must mean a lot to you.

[Nadaig-Awelasamen]: A little. Let’s just scope her out more and get to know her so we don’t leave any traces. They were warned so let’s make her feel extra safe, then rip that security away from them all. Let’s start a revolution. Show that they have a new rule to obey.

[Mercury-Maiden]: What? You mean like the Phantom Thieves? They’re pretty sweet. I’d love to be one of them.

[All]: …

[Nadaig-Awelasamen]: Oh for fuck’s sake., Wolf, go with Witch and Siren and get close to Strelitzia and Lauriam. Roman and Cat will scope the house while they’re at school. Do what you want, but don’t raise anymore suspicion. Ever heard of a game, keep that shit down. Shouldn’t be hard for anyone but Wolf apparently.

[Mercury-Maiden]: When did Roman die to make you leader?

[Nadaig-Awelasamen.]: You’re right, I should just kill myself so I don’t have to deal with dipshit teammates.

[Italian-Gentleman]: Relax, me and Cat’ll watch the house for you, get a feel for it and maybe set up cameras and rig the window to the girl’s bedroom to get in.

[Ice-Gentlewoman]: Mangling?

[Nadaig-Awelasamen]: Sorry, Cat, she gets drowned by Witch and Siren. Maybe next time.

[Ice-Gentlewoman]: :(

[Fall-Maiden]: Sometimes it makes me wonder if you really are a god, Jack. Otherwise how do you know how she dies?

[Nadaig-Awelasamen]: Kid from school said it. I’m just taking inspiration from a loon.

[Fall-Maiden]: Right…

[Italian-Gentlemen]: Settled then, let’s get working shall we.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

“You feeling better today, Ven?” Aqua asked from the edge of the bed she sat upon. Ventus merely stared to the ceiling.

“Aqua, am I bad person for being so violent apparently?” 

“It only matters if you act on those thoughts, Ven. As long as they’re just thoughts, you should be fine.”

“But I never even remember having them. Everyone just tells me things I said and threatened. How am I supposed to control myself when I don’t even know it’s happening?” His hand clutched into the comforters of his bed, hugging them close as he tried to bury himself against them. Tears slid from his eyes, dampening the pillow beneath him. “I mean, what if I act on any of those thoughts and can’t do anything about it?”

Aqua leaned forward to wrap her arms around the crying boy. She pulled him close to her, bringing him up and off the bed and instead against her chest. He was limp, refusing to accept her embrace. She still gave it to him anyway.

“You can’t sulk forever, Ven. It’s been a week.”

“A week since I said I’d kill everyone apparently and collapsed.” Ventus whimpered.

“Oh c’mon, I’m sure no one is even talking about that.”

“Really?”

“Highschool’s peculiar. They’ll latch onto one thing, then the next so once they find the next thing, you’re old news.”

“Everyone’s gonna forget me?!”

“No, that’s not what I meant.” She recoiled, pulling the distressed boy closer to her once again. “I mean that they’ll find some rumour to obsess over instead of fussing about you.”

“You’re sure?”

“That’s anything for you. That’s just how the world works.”

“Oh you mean with how the Phantom thieves were so hot, then they just kinda disappeared!”

“Uh...yeah like that, Ven.”

“They were so cool! I wonder where they went.” He mused, wiping tears from his face with a smile. “I wish they’d change the hearts of bad people here.”

“You mean like our bastard grandfather?” Terra asked. Ven looked up, and as usual for him, his brother stood, leaning against his door frame with crossed arms. 

“Yeah like him!”

“C’mon, guys, dad’ll hear you.” Aqua warned with a weak smile.

“Is dad even home?” Ven asked. “Wait, what time even is it?”

“About noon.” His sister informed. 

“What about school?!”

“You missed a week to sulk in your room, now you’re concerned about school?” Terra asked with an amused smile. “Relax, school’s off today anyway.”

“Well now everyone’s gonna think I’m weird that I missed a week after that proclamation.” Ventus griped as he pulled at his blond hair with sleeved hands.

“It’s fine, surprisingly no one knows about it. Or at least, I haven’t heard anything about it, and something like that would usually get around the school in seconds so whoever you proclaimed it to as you say, you’re either safe to talk to them or they’re terrified of you. I’m gonna go with safe though because you’re not exactly the most threatening person.” Terra responded, a knowing and playful smirk on his visage.

Ven smiled himself, picking up a pillow from his bed and whipping it passed his sister and at his brother who easily deflected it with his arm. A shame, but he laughed nonetheless. What else could he throw? Oh a stuffed animal. That’s funny, he didn’t remember having any of those, but he threw it anyway.

“Ven!” Terra and Aqua yelled. Aqua shook the clueless boy while the former caught the thrown cat. It wasn’t until after looking again at the now terrified animal, that Ven remembered he idly put Matir in a jacket. “Sorry, mom!” He called out, hand cupped beside his mouth to better amplify it. He’d probably be having some choice words from that one. Terra sure got the brunt of it by getting scratched to let the poor and terrified thing go.

“Ven, don’t throw the cat.” Aqua scolded.

“Sorry, I got excited and thought she was a stuffed animal.”

Sighing with exhaustion, the blue haired teen set Ven back on the bed and patted him on the back. “You don’t have stuffed animals. Just a lot of real animals.”

“Really? They looked stuffed sometimes. Especially Goofy.” Shoving at the large great dane that took up half the bed, he carried on further. “Like a stuffed rock.” Ventus patted the big, old dog rather hard and audibly on the back. Goofy scratched with his back leg to his belly on instinct, leaving the bubbly blond to chuckle jovially. 

The doorbell rang then, bringing attention to all but Ven who continued flopping Goofy’s ears as he sang about it, completely oblivious to the alarm. 

“I guess I’ll check on mama while I’m getting the door.”

“Thank you, Terra. I’ll make sure he doesn’t throw any more animals.” Though he seemed pretty preoccupied by bothering one of the family dogs. Where was the other one? Most of the animals seemed to be in his room, just out and about and hard not to step on. Did he set everyone free while he was sulking.

“Don’t you think you should collect your animals, Ven? They might get lost.” Aqua offered a look of uncertainty.

“I wanted company.” He replied glumly yet matter of factly. His mood seemed to dampen dramatically then.

Aqua didn’t say anything, he didn’t see what she did either if anything. His attention was kept on Goofy to the point that Ventus practically melted against the dog. 

In his depressed state, the boy plucked out his hearing aid. He looked down upon it, teeth gritting as his hands clenched tight. He rounded his arm up and moved to throw only for Aqua to stop him, grabbing his arm just before he could throw the earpiece. 

She didn’t bother saying anything, instead merely pulling him into another embrace. This one which he sobbed heavily against. Her shirt became damp and wet with tears and snot within seconds, but she didn’t mind. Aqua simply held him close as he had her and rocked him back and forth.

He could tell by her movements that she lifted her head up and looked back after so long though. It prompted him to as well, and the sight he saw was both stunning and embarrassing. Quite a few of his classmates were here, and bore witness to his sobbing. What to do about that one. 

Ventus fretted in putting his hearing aid back in. Agh, they were talking but he still couldn’t hear them. Piece of shit gadget. He could hear Aqua at least, but she was right next to him so not an accomplishment.

**_“Maybe you shouldn’t have thrown it at a wall before.”_ **

“I thought it was evil.”

**_“And now it buzzes and barely works because you broke it.”_ **

“Who are you talking to, Ven?” Strelitzia asked, stepping closer to his bed with arms folded behind her and a sweet smile on her face. So entrancing all of a sudden. His face seemed to heat up at the mere sight. Did this happen before?

“Do you fall for  _ everyone _ ?” That voice was also familiar. Fuu? It was her now that she stepped closer for him to hear. Also harsh, and untrue. He didn’t fall for Pyrrha or Ruby. But Pyrrha also looked pretty taken by Jaune so. And Ruby? Well she looked more like a little sister. Yang though. Yang was pretty amazing. And Blake looked cute. Nora looked like a psychopath. And Weiss seemed unobtainable.

Speaking of them though, they were all here. And in his extraordinarily messy room with critters roaming about and tears and snot all over his face. This was good. A good thing to come into.

“Uhh I’ll be right back.” Ventus excused himself. 

He hopped off the bed, vaulting over Goofy and narrowly missing the blue collared duck named Donald. Good lord there were so many small animals on the floor. Lizards, mice, snakes. Someone was going to get eaten. What was he thinking? 

“Please keep the door closed so no one gets out. And Aqua can you start picking people up?”

He couldn’t quite hear their responses, but he’d just have to trust that they listened to him and kept anyone from escaping. Or getting squashed for that matter. Or eaten. Maybe it would be better if the whole squad waited out of his room.

_ Thanks, Terra. Thanks for letting them see me all messy and sobbing and just trampling on my pets. _

Regardless, he made it to the bathroom connected to his room, shutting and locking the door, but this was such a mess in several ways. Why was everyone here? Were they here to angry mob him for admitting violent thoughts?

_ I don’t think that was even me though.  _ The boy whined internally. What was he going to do? He couldn’t just leave. They were all out there and they’d know he skipped and he’d have to come clean the next day he went to school which would be tomorrow probably. This was good. 

There wasn’t much he could do though. Save for wash up and confront them anyway. That sounded terrifying though. Couldn’t he just leave? 

_ “Not without being obvious.”  _ The young, leopard masked sin chimed. He sat on the top half of the toilet for some reason. To be tall Ven guessed, but the sink would have been the more obvious option. Then again, he needed to use that so he was a bit thankful that he didn’t have to wash himself off through a cocky asshole.

He made quick work with that too. Everyone was waiting out there so he couldn’t stay away too long. That’d be suspicious 

It would, wouldn’t it?

Whatever the case, Ventus finished up quickly with rinsing his face off and drying. And by the time he got out of the bathroom, everyone but the student council were looking for pets to grab and relocate. Aqua must’ve told them to help. She could be pretty forceful sometimes. When she wanted to be anyway. Actually, by the look of it, they were just about all put up. Pyrrha had the last mouse, Mickey, and plopped him in the cage with Minnie by Terra’s direct. 

“You picked them all up.”

“Better than them getting hurt right?” Strelitzia gave her seemingly signature smile.

“You wouldn’t want them lost or squashed would you?” That voice was actually new. How’d they know to annunciate for him though? Actually, two people in the room were new, not that there was much room left in his bedroom with the sudden crowd.

“Who?”

“Oh, sorry, my name’s Emerald.” The dark skinned, mint haired girl offered her hand to him to which he shook with uncertainty but also interest. With her other hand, Emerald motioned back with her thumb. “And this is Mercury.”

“How can you not know us, Ven, we talk to you all the time. You just talked to us last week.” For some reason, Emerald glared at Mercury for that. Why? He couldn’t be certain in the slightest. She elbowed him then. “What?” The silvered haired boy asked with offense. “It’s true. He just told us to watch over Strelitzia a week ago.”

“So it was you that gave me my body guards.” Strelitzia mused sweetly. She stepped up to Ven, giving him a kiss on the cheek, leaving him beet red, stiff, and stuttering. “Thank you, Ven. You really are looking out for me.”

“I g-guess, but I really don’t know what they’re talking about or who they are honestly. I’ve never met them before.”

“You’re right! You’ve never met us before!” Emerald tried but she seemed a bit frantic as she nearly yelled it and held up a finger to further exaggerate it. “Mercury must have you mistaken for someone else!”

“But we’ve all seen eachother.”

“Oh, maybe it’s Roxas then. He looks just like me but decided to put green contacts in and dye his hair brown so people wouldn’t mistake us at school. I really should have been the one to do that because I was the second one, but he offered first. Guess he wanted a change or something. Maybe you’re thinking of Roxas though.”

“Roxas?” Mercury asked “But-”

“But nothing, Mercury. You mixed them up. Just deal with it.”

“Is he like your twin then?”

“I mean he could be, but I don’t think I have any actual blood relatives.”

“Can we hurry this up?” Seifer chimed in loudly from the back. “We rented the place out so I’d like to get there eventually.”

“Wait, what’s going on? Why are you all here again?” Ven asked, blinking with confusion.

“We’re picking you up to bring you to an arcade we rented out for the night. You haven’t been in school and your facebook is full of sappy and sad posts, and pet photos, so we figured we’d cheer you up y’know.” Rai jumped in. “What were you sad about exactly though, you never said.”

“Oh uh, it’s nothing. Just dumb stuff really.” Ventus waved off. “So to an arcade apparently? Wait, you know my facebook account?”

“It’s just your name.” 

“Time to change it.”

“But I would love to see your pets, Ven. They’re amazing!” Strelitzia beamed, hopping up and down with clapping hands.

Ven couldn’t help but smile at that. He opened his mouth to speak only to be interrupted.

“Chat on the way, time is money.” Seifer insisted again, causing grumbling teens to finally depart the cramped room. A little scary, but nothing he couldn’t handle. It was actually kinda nice having people read his suffering and check up on him. So maybe this wasn’t all bad after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna stop updating this one so often and work on a prequel instead. I doubt it'll have as much traffic as this one as that's more Greedfall than Kingdom Hearts, but this one isn't on high demand so I'm gonna split my attention.


	8. Birthday party at the arcade

**_“Kill them.”_ ** His own voice echoed in his head. Ven glanced around a bit needlessly. It wasn’t to find out who said it. No, it was obvious that it was no name. Moreover, he had his headset on rather than his earpiece so that narrowed it down to solely Futaba. And last he checked, she didn’t sound like him or threaten people’s lives. 

Still, the reason he chose to glance around was to see who no name was referencing. No one was around though. What was he talking about? Futaba? That’s a little far-fetched.

“I think no name wants me to kill you.”

“That’s pleasant to hear, Ven.” She snorted over the mic.

“Oh, am I not supposed to tell you that?”

“It’s fine, but most people don’t take kindly to violence. Just saying.”

“So I’m supposed to just lie? Shouldn’t people be warned about something like that?”

“You’re not actually going to do it are you?” She asked. His eyes shifted to his bed where under it lay a box of illegal goods. One such good being a gun he’d bought from the dark web out of curiosity. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d used it. Before it was just on cans when no one was home to test what proved to be terrible aim. He was certainly more of a hands on person. No wonder he used an inkbrush.

“Ven.”

“You’re not going to do it right?”

Why couldn’t he answer? It should be an easy one. 

_ “Ven.”  _

Of course it wasn’t though. He’d already failed. His bloodied room was a testament to that. He looked over it at first. Maybe he didn’t want to accept it originally. Accept that the box from under his bed was out and opened with the gun laying used and at his side. Or accept the deceased siblings that lay in his room. They looked so peaceful even if there was confusion and hurt on their face and tears in their eyes from being shot by someone they trusted. 

“Ven!”

He smiled, eyes moving from the cadavers in his room, back to the game he played with Futaba. “Of course not.” 

“Ven.” He heard. A different voice this time. It sounded familiar though. Close even. Ventus looked around again to no avail. All that was with him were the bodies of his siblings and his friend over the mic. And she certainly didn’t sound like a guy. 

“Ventus!” It shouted. 

It was startling, leaving for him to grab for the gun by his side. “I gotta go, Futaba.” He signed off quick, taking the headset off. 

The moment he stood and turned around, he came face to face with the one that wore the jack o’ lantern mask. It was startling to say the least and threw him off for a moment. It’s alright though because he had a gun and the other was defenseless. That’s right, he’d be able to stop them from hurting Strelitzia. 

Ven brought his hand up to aim and shoot only to find himself the one defenseless and Jack the one with the gun.

“How?”

In his distorted tone, Jack aimed the gun, pressing it to Ven’s head, and mused “Time to pay up.” Without another word, the device went off.

“Ven!” He was shaken, but he was already darting awake with a gasp by then. Ventus blinked, catching his breath as he gathered his surroundings. He was in a car with Vivi sitting next to him. They seemed concerned but as usual it was pretty hard to tell. To the other side of him, allowed access by an opened door, Seifer stood, gripping onto him and shaking him to a wakeful state. 

First thing’s first, Ven wiped at the bit of drool on his lips with his sleeves, then rubbed the sleep from his eyes with his hands. 

He’d caught his breath by now, finally gathering what exactly just happened. A dream. That should’ve been obvious now that he thought about it. He’d never hurt Terra and Aqua after all. Or anyone for that matter. Jack though. Those guys. They were up in the air. He sure hoped he never had to see them again anyway. If he didn’t, then Strelitzia and everyone would be safe. 

What’d that counselor say though? That he knew the culprits? Well why didn’t he turn them in to the police? Maybe he should go in and ask tomorrow at school.

“You alive, Ven?” Seifer asked, patting a hand a bit roughly for a few times against Ventus’ cheek to get his attention. It worked.

“Huh? Yeah, sorry I was just thinking about something.” He admitted. Glancing around, he found that they were at an empty arcade. Or nearly empty anyway. It was them, them being Seifer’s crew that he rode with. And then Pyrrha and her friends. The majority of which Ven had met. There were two that he hadn’t yet met though. One with long blond hair that wore what looked like an entire laundry hamper. Meanwhile the boy next to her had his black and blue hair up in a short ponytail and wore everything from Hot Topic right down to the alternating black and blue polished nails and coloured wristbands. They stuck close to one another. Were they a couple? Seemed nice to have someone like that. He wondered if he’d ever have that. Fuu came to mind. And Strelitzia, and Xion. He’d love to be close to all of them like that. With being able to lay his head on their shoulders and nuzzle against them. Actually, even Futaba came to mind. She was cute too.

Maybe he could skip all the mess of highschool romances and go straight for the childhood friend. That would work right. Fuu didn’t seem that into him anyway, and the other two were probably taken because why wouldn’t they be. Also Weiss looked like she’d bite his head off if he ever tried so he was a bit afraid of her. He was comfortable with Futaba though! And she did so much for him! She’d be perfect!

Ignoring Seifer’s further attempts to get him out of the car, if only because Ven hopped out to play on his phone as he moved, he pulled up Futaba’s messages. 

[Ven]: Can we date?

[Futaba]: Date? As in boyfriend/girlfriend?

[Ven]: Yeah, we’re always doing stuff together anyways so why not?

[Futaba]: You have a point, but I expect gifts.

[Ven]: I can do that!

[Futaba]: Great, I’ll date you then, but don’t expect anything to change.

[Ven]: Aww man, so no pet names?

[Futaba]: I have dignity.

[Ven]: Can I call you pet names? We could make our fans jealous that we’re both taken.

[Futaba]: I think you mean proud that their fanfictions are coming true.

[Ven]: Wanna read fanfiction about us and reenact it?

[Futaba]: Some of those involve mpreg with you y’know.

[Ven]: Pillow pregnancy.

[Futaba]: Please go talk to your friends, you’re embarrassing. 

[Ven]: You got it, snookums.

[Futaba]: I’m sending the Phantom Thieves after you.

[Ven]: Then I’ll meet celebrities finally.

Waiting for her reply and keeping his gaze down at his phone, he couldn’t help but to walk into the wrong door and slam against it with a loud thud. Seifer smirked from the door he held open beside Ven. “Way to go, genius.”

“Actually, that makes me feel better.” Ven admitted. “It shows that I am not at all capable of murder because I’m dumb, and that’s very reassuring.”

“You couldn’t tell?” The lead asked with disbelief.

Ven shook his head. “Nope. I had a bad dream and wondered if I was capable. I guess I was both pissed and terrified when I woke up though so it’s anyone’s guess before. Now it seems obvious if I can’t even walk right. I’d be a terrible murderer” He explained. “So yeah, reassuring.” That and it went along with what Terra said earlier about how he was the opposite of threatening. Very helpful.

“So you actually do have murderous thoughts. I was starting to think that one about you was fake.”

“Wow, people really do know a lot about me huh.” Pocketing his phone and heading into the establishment finally, Ven added “Nope, that’s true. I do have homicidal and violent urges. Don’t look it huh, but they’re pretty bad. I usually have to preoccupy myself until they pass so I just lock myself in my room and force myself to sleep if anything.” With a little help, but he wasn’t going to admit to that. People didn’t really take kindly to junkies. Not that he’d really consider himself one. He just used valium to calm himself down on occasion and sleep if urges got too bad, usually when people were being bullies online. He never really took enough to actually get high or build a tolerance. It’s just self sedation. His family did it to him all the time when he was having violent episodes so what’s the difference? Easy to take from dad’s selection at home or even the hospital when you can sneak in undetected since the place is his dad’s and all. It’s not uncommon for any three of them to be at the hospital and playing go-karts with wheelchairs. Not to mention their system was easy to hack and change their inventory. Technology for the win.

But right, they were supposed to be having fun. Not thinking about how he was a thief in more ways than one. It really was easy to siphon money from accounts. He never used it much, but he just kinda had it for in case he needed it he supposed. Honestly, he stole because he could and he didn’t feel bad about intangible numbers seeping from one account to the other. Also, not his actual account. He was way too young for one anyway so it’s kinda an account with money that he set up and never looked at. Maybe he should look and give it back sometime. Save for his grandpa, that shit was his now. Years of abuse, bitch.

“Ya gonna stop spacing out yet?” Seifer asked, hand waving in front of Ven’s face. He blinked back to reality.

“Sorry, maybe I’m still a bit out of it. What are we doing again?”

“We’re at an empty arcade, serving us hand and foot. Everything’s bought so do what you want.”

“But I’ve never been to an arcade before. What do you do?”

“Are you serious?” He asked and Ven nodded dumbly. Seifer sighed only to grab the boy by the hood of his jacket and drag him off towards the rest. “Well first off, we have a birthday of a girl I didn’t invite, but I’m up for some cake so I’ll allow it.”

“Don’t be rude, Seifer.” Yang stuck her tongue out at the boy. Did they already sing happy birthday? The cake was already blown out and being cut. Did he miss it? 

_ Guess I was thinking about drugs and stealing. Maybe I am a junkie after all. Whoops. _

“Why did you guys celebrate without me?” Ven whined. “I love birthdays.” Not that he even knew who it was for anyway.

“We didn’t celebrate without you, don’t worry.” Yang offered him a piece on a small, red striped plate. It was chocolate by the looks of it. Looked tasty, but he wasn’t much in the mood to eat. All his mind decided to stall on was valium now that he thought about it. It would be nice to feel good after a dream like that. Just relax a bit. Everything’s been pretty stressful since he started school, what with the emergence of a flood of new people on top of that weird dream that apparently might be true. Either that or that counselor was also a wack job like him. Wouldn’t be surprised by that honestly. Maybe everything was just too much. He wished it would slow down, which left Ven nibbling a bit anxiously at the cake. It tasted of cinnamon along with the chocolate. An unexpected treat. 

Maybe he should just call Futaba again. But there was nothing to clear up to his knowledge. Everything was just overwhelming. And while it was nice to be out and about with friends, could he manage it? Maybe coming out with a bunch of people after a fit of depression was a bad idea. What if it came back? Was it already coming back? He wasn’t sure, he just didn’t feel right. He couldn’t feel happy that it was someone’s birthday. He just wanted to flee and calm down. Maybe it was that dream. Maybe it was scaring him, making him unsure of things. He was also tired so that didn’t help.

“What do you know, the local kook is sitting by himself and gnawing on forks.” A voice remarked. It was male but did that matter? 

Was he gnawing on his fork though? 

_ Oh, I guess I was. _

Must’ve spaced out. 

“The name’s Alex.” The boy with black and blue hair pointed a proud thumb at himself. “And I don’t go to your crummy public school. Nor does Tya.” He motioned to the blonde girl who’s birthday it apparently was. She seemed nice, when did that purple haired girl get here though? Creepy. Maybe he was still half asleep so he rubbed at his eyes again. Speaking of the purple haired girl, Alex pointed at her with his fork. “Aspen though, that autistic bitch goes to your dead end school.”

The way he spoke so arrogant and condescending was just aweing. Ven’s mouth was left agape as he uttered out “I’ve never heard anyone talk like that except on the computer and games.” Where it was safe to be an asshole and there were no consequences. He couldn’t say he wasn’t guilty of ever wanting to cause some havoc. Then again, he actually has hacked and doxxed people without them finding out. Anyone that was a jerk for no reason in his opinion. Which was typically irrational when someone caught on. Same goes for those in the real world though. He’ll find them and ruin their lives if they don’t treat others right.

Alex waved a hand in front of his face then. “You wanna stop spacing out and stabbing your cake like a psychotic retard or would you like to continue looking like a freak after all?”

“That’s not very nice to say.” Ventus mumbled a bit self consciously. 

“Well c’mon, show me you’re not retarded at bowling then. I wanna get on the crazy kid’s good side so when you inevitably shoot up a school, I’m not targeted.”

“But you just said you didn’t go to my school?” Not that that entire comment wasn’t offensive as all hell.

“Doesn’t mean you won’t be smart and shoot someone else’s school up, but please shoot up your own. Take out Aspen. She’s too incompetent to remain alive.”

“Why exactly do you hate her?” He glanced at the girl once more. She looked pretty, but just like before he didn’t see her talking. It was mainly Yang, Ruby, and Tya talking while Aspen seemed to loiter and watch. Maybe she was just like that though. Nothing wrong with that. The punch cup she held garnered his attention. Maybe he should get some.

**_“Put cyanide in it.”_ **

He gulped. So overwhelmingly tempting. 

Hands shaking, he lowered the plate of mutilated cake. Ventus shifted, putting it onto the table before securing his hands in his jacket pockets. “So bowling?”

“Yeah, unless you wanna spaz out some more.” Alex mocked. Ven frowned furrowing his brows before pleading

“Please, I just wanna get away from everyone.”

“Relax, I have something that might help. Come with me though.” Alex didn’t even bother in waiting for Ven to process what he said. He grabbed his hand, dragging him along and through the multicoloured carpets and passed all the flashing arcade machines that everyone was playing. He was a bit jealous. He wanted to play, but he was a bit of a captive at the moment.

Alex drug him off however, to a nearby bathroom that honestly wasn’t too shabby for an arcade. It was cozy. Maybe he could just lounge there and calm down a bit then go back out later.

“Ever had morphine?”

Ven’s attention snapped from the sinks he could hide under or stalls he could pull his feet up in and instead looked to Alex quizzically. “I’ve been on it when I hurt myself too badly I guess.” Maybe too much to give, but honestly who didn’t have his entire rap sheet by now apparently?

“Well it’s calming so maybe it’ll stop you from stabbing things in dazed fits. That scares people, man.” Pulling out an unmarked bottle from his jacket, Alex unscrewed the cap and slid a few pills out and onto his palm.

“Was I actually doing that?”

“Yyyyyyyyep,” He drug out. “And everyone effectively ran away from you to do better things.” That stung, everywhere even as tears stung at his eyes and his chest hurt just thinking about it. Ven held his hand out and open for Alex to dump the pills in them. He was solemn about it, as he was sure his dad would get mad at him, but he already used valium without permission so why would this be any different. Besides, he had to be drugged to be normal as is so really it shouldn’t be different. He just needed a little extra help so his meds could keep up. Maybe try a different type or higher dosage after this night ended. But for now, he brought his hand up and popped the pills into his mouth. He turned to the sink to scoop up water from the automatic faucet and downed the pills. Hopefully that helped.

“So you’re a druggie huh.” Seifer’s voice called from the door. Or rather there wasn’t really a door. It was more like a hallway into the men’s room. 

Wiping the water from his mouth with his sleeve, Ven spoke up. “No, it’s not that. I was just trying to calm down a bit.”

“What? Is our generosity too scary for you or something?” The boy scoffed, scowl effectively dominant on his face.

“No” Ven pleaded again. “It’s not that, I’m just not used to people and I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Oh so you’re threatening us now?”

Scary. So scary. What to do? 

He couldn’t think. The most he could want was for everything to stop. But then why wasn’t it happening?

“You need to leave before I call the police on you. Both of you.”

“I was just trying to make him feel better. He was freaking out.” Alex hissed back. 

“Not my problem. Get out.”

With tears streaming down his face, Ven hung his head and moved passed the boy in the hallway. His pace picked up as he saw the rest of the party enjoying themselves for fear of interaction. A few looked at him. They looked about ready to speak so he took out his hearing aid, pocketed it, and brought his headphones to cup over his ears and put them on full blast as he sped out of the arcade. 

He went from a fast walk to a full on sprint as he ran from the building and anyone that could follow him, wiping tears with his sleeves and sniffling on the way. 

He wasn’t sure how long he’d ran, but he stopped at a clearing in the woods. He doubted they’d find him there if they even decided to look. Besides, the morphine was starting to kick in, and he was starting to feel a bit sluggish and dizzy so falling wasn’t actually part of the plan. It wasn’t all bad though. He actually felt pretty nice. Even through the nausea, he couldn’t complain, but maybe that was because the world was spinning. Easy fix. 

Ven pulled the blindfold up from around his neck and secured it around his eyes, tightening it to better fit. That kinda helped. He wasn’t scared anymore. Or anxious. Or mad. He just felt a bit sick, but he was calm. Happy as he nuzzled against the now unseen grass. He gripped against it, snuggling against it as if it were his warm and comfortable bed. It was hard not to think he was already there honestly. 

**_“Aren’t you going to kill them. Get revenge?”_ **

Ven smiled, mouthing a quick and soft ‘no’ as he calmed further to slumber against the woodland floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a vent fic, but I didn't do drugs. I couldn't exactly parallel the real happenings because it was internet based for me and making a story strictly about the workings of internet drama would be boring. I do have drug cravings when stressed which the entire situation spurred, apparently that's a thing that I've talked to others experienced with it about. It does in fact lead to addiction so I'm trying my best. Admittedly I'd probably be an addict by now if I had access since I've had that for years.
> 
> That aside, for my case, all I did was soft block people on tumblr. I have the same thing as no name though in my case his name is Bates, that I've had since I was a teenager. If I didn't have a good enough relationship with someone when I was having an episode, I softblocked them to get them off my radar so they wouldn't be targetted because I knew I was susceptible to going after them. So I left to keep them safe and unbothered. I typically didn't go back to those people either, though I would apologize later if I felt better (no real responses to those but oh well really.) I wouldn't refollow though. Still, not to mention being blocked is what triggers Bates so I'd beat people to it so the remaining followers wouldn't have to suffer. Sucked and was lonely but it was better than the alternative. I did go overboard on occasion though with blocking literally everyone. I did that twice, once at the beginning and once more before I decided to leave altogether. People didn't take too kindly to being softblocked though so I ended up getting yelled at for it which was stressful. Honestly, if I didn't get yelled at for it, this story and me nearly ending up in a mental hospital the other night probably wouldn't have happened. I really don't take getting yelled at or lectured well (lectured also triggers Bates as I found out the hard way recently.) Really leaves me susceptible to urges that I struggle with greatly for days to weeks to months on end if triggered. Unfortunately life doesn't have a rewind though.


	9. Jack

He felt himself shift, or rather someone did it for him. They moved him. No, it wasn’t that. It was a nudge. A poke to the nose that he grimaced over, then a harsh shove to whine over. 

He was still being prodded and shaken. He opened his eyes to see who it was, but why couldn’t he see? Was he blind? Terrifying. He couldn’t help but fret and panic, breathing hitching and accelerating to a rapid pace. Just as if on cue though, he could see again. 

_ Why was my blindfold on? _

He vaguely remembered putting it on, but wasn’t that a dream? Oh but wait, he was depressed earlier. Maybe he put it on to avoid the world. What about the morphine though? Was it just valium and he wanted something else? That wasn’t good to think about. Not good to want valium but he couldn’t help it. Maybe he just wanted to be calm. But no, he wanted that euphoric feeling back. So it wasn’t the valium. Or was it? Not the usual for valium anyway, maybe he should see what a valium high was like instead of using the appropriate amount. He could use a pick me up right about now anyway.

A hand suddenly waved in his face and Ven grimaced as he had to brace the harsh light of his room to see Terra. 

He spoke but failed to hear himself, leading him to groan and rummage for his desk. Perfect, his hearing aid was there. That shitty device that barely worked. It did enough though, so he supposed that was good enough.

“Why are you harassing me when I’m trying to sleep, Terra?”

“Because you need to get dressed so hurry up and pick a cosplay.”

“I have a lot of questions.” Ven huffed as he fell back against his pillows. 

“We’re going trick or treating, Ven, it’s Halloween and prime time to egg some houses.”

“I’m sorry, last I checked you were a goodie two shoes boy who was too old for trick or treating. Where’s the fire and what’s the sudden change for?”

“Because, let’s have fun before you’re grounded forever. Besides, I figured you have a lot of rage right now.”

“Why would I be grounded for just sleeping?” Unless it was grandpa being a prick again.

“Because you weren’t just sleeping, Ven.” Terra had moved to the closet, picking through the clothes. Something that wouldn’t stand out too much and make it obvious it was them so maybe cosplay was out. There was a full on suit of dark clothing. Probably overlooked by Aqua given she always picked his clothes out for him. Ven would never change if he did it himself. “Did you rob a bank before, Ven?”

“Can you stop giving me a million questions to deal with? I just woke up and I feel groggy.” He eyed Terra, playing with the clothes in his closet. Oh, they lit up with neon green vines on the arms. That looked familiar, but he was too tired to care.

“Ven, we found you in the middle of the woods, high out of your mind. You don’t remember that?”

That was plenty to get his eyes to shoot open. He sat up with a small scream too. Panic rather evident on his visage as he eyed Terra. He’d found a mask and gloves in the pocket of the light up hoodie and began playing with those as well leading them to light up in seconds to bear a jack o’ lantern aesthetic and more vines on the gloves. That was more important however.

“Wh-where did you find that?” Ventus practically whimpered out.

“In your closet? Why?” Terra continued rummaging through the other pocket having felt further material within. This time it was a phone. “Why do you have another phone, Ven? Got a sketchy side business?” Looking it over, he glanced back over to his brother. “Is this the phone you call your drug dealer on?” He half joked. Leave it to Terra to be blunt though.

“Terra, I’ve never seen any of that before.” He insisted. Motioning and waving over for the phone, he added “Give-Gimme’ the phone though.” 

“Why? So you can call for more valium and morphine?”

“Terra, this is serious, give me the phone.” The blond practically hissed. His brother furrowed his brows, but handed the device over, turning the lights on the clothing off probably to conserve it. He moved over to Ven who began fiddling with the password to no avail. There weren’t too many he used so it wasn’t long that he ran out of options. It gave him a bit of relief though, a miniscule bit, but some nonetheless. “I don’t know the password.”

“Isn’t it yours though?” Terra leaned in to look it over. Looked like a standard lock. Four digit code apparently.

“I’ve never seen it before, but it feels familiar I guess. I swear I haven’t though. And as for drugs, I steal valium from dad and the hospital alright. I’m not an addict though.”

“But you got high at the party you were at. Futaba told us and gave us your location. We found you knocked out in the woods. We woke you up, but you couldn’t seem to focus on anything.” Terra explained. “Futaba told us everything she heard, Ven. We know what happened.”

Still fiddling with the lock and trying several combinations, Ven remarked “Then you know it wasn’t my fault.” 

“You mean that you were freaking out and someone offered it to you? And you took it without hesitation? You also have stocks of valium bottles under your bed. And other drugs too. You even have a gun, Ven!”

“The valium is to calm me down when I’m getting too homicidal so I won’t hurt anyone and just sleep instead. The other drugs, I was just curious but never actually touched alright. As for the gun, I have actually played with that.”

“And how exactly did the kid that’s banned from guns thanks to being committed get a gun?”

“Internet has a lot if you know where to look.”

“And how’d you pay for it, can’t imagine all of this stuff was cheap.”

“Well the valium I stole, the morphine was given to me, the other stuff is with stolen money so I guess I did use it on  _ something _ .”

“I have no idea who you are.”

“Well if it helps, neither do I apparently.” 

Looking over his shoulder, Terra glanced at Ven’s work only to see he was locked out of the phone. “Don’t you have hacker technology to break into things like that?”

“I mean, I could bug it and see the password next time it’s logged into, or a million other things. But without knowing anything about the owner, I don’t even know where to begin.”

“But you’re the owner, Ven.”

Deflating, he sighed. “And that’s what’s making this difficult.” He looked back to Terra. “But I don’t want to be the owner anyway. That means I’m crazier than I originally thought and that I should be in a hospital for the criminally insane and I shouldn’t be allowed anywhere unmedicated and and-” 

Terra moved closer to Ventus’ side and wrapped his arms around the other as the younger began to cry. He held him close, rocking Ven as a hand ran through his blond hair.

“It’s alright, Ven, just calm down alright. It’ll be fine.”

“Not if I’m a murderer!”

Terra shifted back a bit, cocking his head at his younger brother. “What’s this about murder, I thought you were just a junkie.”

“I’m not a junkie!”

“More realistic than someone like you being a murderer.” Terra smirked. “Besides, who would you have even murdered? No one’s dead.”

“That’s right, she’s still alive! Strelitzia’s not dead yet!” Ven beamed. “And if I’m one of them, then I have access to the rest! I just need to get into this stupid phone!”

“And now you’re not making any sense again. Are you still high?”

“No, this is great Terra! I have a lead on the group going after Strelitzia because I’m part of it! I can stop them from the inside!”

“But you don’t even remember owning that stuff. So either you’re getting framed, or it’s not you you doing it.”

“So I am crazier, but that’s okay because I can work with this!”

“You can’t even get into the phone though!”

“No, but I know someone that might be able to help us.”

“Another part of your apparent crew?”

“I’m not sure, but he sure knew enough about it.” Switching phones, Ven fiddled around a bit on his as he struggled to change clothes to the ones Terra put out for him, which happened to be “Jack’s” clothes but that was perfect actually. 

It was really easy getting into the school’s database. The password was basic and he’d used it tons of times before so getting in was a cinch. That just left getting into the records for the staff. Also easy already being in. 

“Let’s see, Constantin was it…” Ven muttered as he idly chewed on the strings of his hoodie. They ended up pretty slobbery by the time he smiled at his progress. “Got his address so let’s go trick someone after all, Terra.” He noticed his brother staring, mouth open as if he was about to speak. “Also drop the drug thing because I’m fine and we have bigger things to worry about.”

“I was actually going to say you made me lose my lunch with your drooling.” He remarked.

Ven stared at Terra blankly a moment before whipping the drooly string at his face for the other to wince back and grimace. “Disgusting, Ven!”

“See! Same old Ven. Not a murderer or a drug addict. Now drive me to Constantin’s house so we can get answers out of him.”

“Same old bossy boy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a sequel in mind, and know exactly where it's going to start.  
> But speaking of which, I feel like a lot of people on tumblr figured I flipped out for the attention, but nah, I'm legit crazy and depressed. All that was real as hell and I needed help and got hella ignored and ditched while other people got tons of people to flock to them to help. Pissed me off because I went out of my way to help others and they never talked to me afterwards, they also dropped threads on me continuously. Now I just get to frequent anonymous therapy sites and crisis lines every night to not lose my mind thanks to the events this story is based on (and yet I'm the bad guy that deserved everything that happened again. Literally didn't do jackshit but okay.) Okay, I did one thing as opposed to the other party's consistent wrongings. 
> 
> It really sets the mood for the sequel of this story though and I wanna get there to write it out.
> 
> Also, I decided to out Jack because I thought it was too obvious to drag out and I didn't want to look dumb dragging it out.
> 
> Sorry, I haven't been able to talk to anyone for said therapy today or yesterday so mind's a bit haywire today.


	10. Answers?

It didn’t take long to reach the house. Surprisingly, it was rather close to their own. Just down the street if anything. They didn’t park in the driveway however, instead down the street, leaving for them to walk the rest of the way. 

It wasn’t all bad. They kinda looked like they were trick treating even. That was exhilarating. Maybe they could actually go after this. Terra wasn’t dressed up, but again, he was apparently too old despite being only about a year older than Ven. What a baby. 

But right first thing’s first.

Turning the glow on for his outfit, Ven motioned for Terra to move back. “I’ll keep my phone on a call with you so you can hear. I think it would be suspicious if you came with so I’ll go it alone.”

“So brave, Ven, but what if he’s a creep?”

“That’s why you’ll be on the other end of the line so if I’m getting molested by a creepy teacher that calls me adorable, then you’ll know to come in.”

“I don’t like the sound of this if he calls you that.”

“He calls me dear friend and adorable friend despite me never having met him before so it was a little creepy, but I was a bit preoccupied the first time so I didn’t say anything. Now it’s making me shiver with dread.”

“Could also be the cold air, but you might be onto something.” Terra remarked. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go in with you so you don’t end up getting harassed?”

“I’ll take my chances. I don’t think it’ll work if you’re with me. Unless you’re also one of those masked guys anyway, but I don’t want to chance it.”

“Well if you’re getting molested, I’m coming in to stop it, plan or no plan alright.”

“It’s cool, I brought my gun.”

“When did you both find that and sneak that out?!”

“When you were taking forever in the bathroom and I have cameras everywhere in the house so I knew where you put it.” He mused. “Garbage, really?”

Holding his hand out, Terra insisted “Give me the gun, Ven, you’re not supposed to have it.”

“But I don’t want to get raped!” He hissed back in a hushed tone.

“Then you use pepper spray! Not a gun!

“I’m not Aqua.”

More deadpan than before, Terra remarked “And we both know damn well that she doesn’t need pepper spray.”

“Yeah, I’ve seen her crush a watermelon with her thighs and I worry when she has me in a headlock.”

“That can’t be where our watermelons go.”

“I saw it in her room on the cams I put in there.”

Terra just about sputtered out in disbelief “You have cameras in your sister’s room?!”

“Terra, I have news for you, I already said I have cameras all over the house, and have access to the school and hospital surveillance too. Nowhere is safe from me.”

“Except in front of a gentleman’s house it seems.” A third voice spoke out to them. The two looked up to see the smug face of Constantin in the opened doorway before them.

“Why’d we both go up to the door.” Ven huffed, scolding himself as he slapped an open palm against his face and dragged it down with disappointment.

Looking the other up and down, Constantin remarked “Well I know very well you’re not with your memories right now. Otherwise you’d be spouting about the end of renaigse and humanity and going on ridiculous little missions with your cohorts.”

“So I am Jack then?” Ven perked up. Was that something to perk up over though. That sounded like a bad thing if anything. Meant he was a psychopath and all.

The elder blond pointed a motioning finger along Ventus’ attire. “Did you not wear this on purpose? Did you forget the vision Ava helped show you already?” He leant forward, cupping his hands along Ventus’ cheeks and having him look up at him. “Are your memories regressing and degrading now perhaps?”

Ventus grunted and pulled back, slapping the older man’s hands off him. “My memories are just fine! I remember that dream perfectly, and at this point I think it might just be that. A dream or nightmare and I’m just dumb for thinking it was anything more than that.”

“No, my dear friend, that was a vision of the future. That’s an ability you’ve had for countless years. Even before I came to have magic of my own.”

“I have a lot of questions, comments, and concerns for your well being.”

“So do I.” Terra chimed in with a raised brow.

“Ah yes, you’re unaware of your abilities. Comes with the memory loss and new incarnation.” Waving them in, Constantin just about insisted “Come in, come in.” The two boys looked to each other with uncertainty. “Come along.” He called once again, prompting them to give hesitant steps inside. 

The abode was rather normal, quite a bit of flora around. Well that was an understatement actually. There were potted plants of course, but the plantlife didn’t quite get the memo to stay inside the pots, leaving the home to be overrun with flora. Actually it was rather beautiful. He couldn’t help but be jealous. So maybe it wasn’t so normal after all.

“Would you fancy some tea, as luck would have it, I’d just made a pot.” He called with a jovial laugh from the kitchen, or where they assumed was the kitchen. They’d stopped to admire the overrun home just outside it, instead in the living room.

“Aren’t you afraid of bugs or other things crawling around with all...this?” Terra needlessly motioned to the vines and roots that lined the floors, walls, and ceiling.

“Oh heavens not, I’ve learned to coexist with nature millenia ago and learned to appreciate it thoroughly.” He assured. Constantin returned then, three dainty white cups plated with two in hand and one resting on a curved arm to keep it in place. He handed them off one by one. The man didn’t seem to have any difficulty with it which was impressive. Ven almost wanted to clap. Almost as he was still a bit creeped out by all of this.

Plopping down in an arm chair overgrown with further vines, Constantin took a sip of his tea. Meanwhile, Terra and Ven had yet to sit on the decorated furniture. Something about sitting on weeds and plants bothered him. That much was evident on their faces.

“That right there is how I know you’re not Jack right now.” Constantin pointed to the two. “Jack wouldn’t have any hesitation in drinking my tea as you have or relaxing in my home.”

Ven looked down at the tea, still apprehensive but cursing how little he knew about these characters. Still, it was worth a shot, leaving him to look back up at Constantin. “Who exactly is Jack and why do you know him so well? I don’t know anything about you so how do you know more about me than I do?”

Constantin shifted while Terra sipped at his tea. Judging by the look on his face, it wasn’t bad. Terra might be a trusting dolt though, but Ven wasn’t so he set the plated tea down on an emptied spot on the table and remained standing alongside his brother.

“Jack, as you call him, is you, my dear Ventus.” He explained though it wasn’t much of an explanation if that was already obvious. “What I mean to say is, he is you when you have your memories of your previous life back, and let me say, you’re not too fond of the way you died and suffered back then. Not that I’m one to blame you. I completely see where that mindset is coming from so I haven’t bothered to halt you in your more nefarious endeavors.”

“Previous life, you mean like reincarnation?”

Pointing at him with joy, Constantin smiled past his tea. “Exactly that, my dear friend.”

“But why do I have memories of my previous life and others don’t?”

“Ah, but because, you’re not fully human. You’re a nadaig, meaning that you are a guardian of the earth. Nadaig Awelasamen to be exact.”

“Wind guardian.” Ventus stated with awe and Constantin nodded with a grand smile.

“Exactly that. You are the guardian of the wind. And more importantly than just that, you are the wind, my adorable friend.”

“Hang on.” Terra jumped in with a shake of his head. “You’re going to fill his head with stories about being a god. Do you have any idea what you’re doing? He’s actually susceptible to those thoughts. Don’t make him crazier.”

“Oh don’t call your brother crazy, Terra, it’s uncouth and unwarranted.”

“But you’re the one telling him that he’s some kind of god of wind.”

“That’s because he is. I chose him to be the guard of wind when we stole the powers from his old god together.” Constantin leaned back, gaze off of them, almost as if reminiscing. “It used to be the four of us. Me for earth, Ventus for wind, Tya for fire, and Amelia for water. And then your mother having already had them all along with even more amazing powers.. We were to make a better world as the new gods.”

“I think I’ve heard enough.” Terra scoffed, putting the tea down besides Ven’s. “C’mon, Ven, there’s no point in listening to all this. He’s clearly crazy. I mean, his house even shouts it.”

“But wait, Terra, how am I supposed to stop Jack?”

“With medicine. Obviously your pills aren’t working well enough. You still hallucinate and have fits anyway.”

“The way to put a stop to Jack is by showing him to love the world once more. Do that, and you shouldn’t have anymore problems with him.” Constantin insisted. “But do come by again if you want to learn more about your past and old friends. Though perhaps it wouldn’t be best as that might trigger Jack’s memories.”

As much as he would have loved to stay, Terra dragged him off to the door and out. Whether Constantin said anymore, he couldn’t tell. Out of earshot probably. At least for him.

Outside now, Ven huffed at Terra, crossed his arms and pouted. “Why would you do that, Terra?! I wanted to hear what he had to say!”

“Listening to him will only put you in a mental hospital, Ven. You’ll take it to heart and try to jump off a building or something and get yourself killed.”

“I wouldn’t do that!” He practically squeaked, pulling against Terra as the other dragged him off towards the car. Terra opened the door for him, awaiting a bit impatiently for the boy to enter. Terra always was secretly impatient and to top it off, he had rage issues. They were never fun to see. He didn’t want to deal with them though so he got in the car without issues, allowing Terra to get into the driver’s seat the same. 

Terra sighed when he got into the car, hands on the steering wheel, gripping tight only to loosen and start again. After a moment, he turned to Ventus. “I’m sorry, Ven, but I don’t think it’ll help your mind to listen to something like that so let’s just go trick or treating and get our minds off of what just happened. Let’s pretend it never did happen.” Ven opened his mouth to speak only for Terra to cut him off. “As for the whole Jack business. There is no Jack. You must’ve been dreaming what you thought you saw. And it doesn’t help that you talked to someone else that’s clearly not right in the head.” 

Tears stung at his eyes as his brother failed to believe or understand him. He kept his gaze down as Terra pulled out, never once bringing it back up even as they pulled in at home. The most Ventus did during their silent ride was wipe at his eyes with his sleeves, careful of the led bits.

He didn’t have much intention of getting out of the car either. Terra did sigh and regard him again, but it was just as painful as the rest as he said “I’m sorry, Ven, but you need help.” And then Terra left and returned inside. Considering how fast their father came out, it was more than likely to retrieve him, then again, he said they were going trick or treating so maybe not. 

He kept the door locked and window up even as Eraqus knocked gently on the glass to get his attention. He didn’t care though, Ventus merely opted to take his hearing aid out to ignore him further. That wasn’t going to work though was it? He’d just get in more trouble then. And what was he supposed to do now? He couldn’t just knock himself out anymore. They found everything and there was no time to get more.

It wasn’t long before he put his hearing aid back in and finally opened the door to a struggling to remain calm father. He didn’t stop for him, just marched towards the house, hissing out with an ever increasing tone “You might as well just put me in a mental hospital. That’s what you all want anyway isn’t it?”

“Ventus, we are not throwing you away because we want to.” His father scolded. 

“Oh but you’re going to? That’s nice to know. I’m glad all it took was me being stressed out once at a party for you guys to decide I need to be put away for being a nuisance.”

“That’s not it and you know it, Ventus.” His dad was struggling for sure. What? Did he ruin the perfect family look with doing drugs? Did it get around already? How dare he want to be calm apparently. 

“Look.” Ven turned back around to his father. “I don’t want to be around anyone right now so go ahead, lock me up. You’ll be doing me a favour anyway.”

Eraqus clench his teeth and hands only to calm a moment later. “I just think that maybe you weren’t ready to face so many people at once after all so we’re pulling you from school.”

He looked to his father with disbelief, tears streaming from his eyes and falling from his cheeks. “You gave me two weeks.” Ven breathed out. “You really expect me to assimilate in two fucking weeks?! Are you kidding me?!” Stomping against the ground with gritted teeth and clench fists of his own, Ven shouted “You were setting me up for failure this entire time weren’t you! You just let me think I was going to have a chance so I’d stop bothering you, but you set all this up so I wouldn’t want to go out again didn’t you?! That’s why it went so badly!”

His dad opened his mouth to speak but he didn’t want to hear anymore lies so he stepped back from his father and pulled the gun from his pocket and aimed it at the man. “You set me up!” The boy cried, slouching with despair only to straighten back up to aim the gun more properly at his father. 

“Ventus.” Oh he sounded so much more obedient and frightened now. It actually made Ven feel a bit bad, causing his aim to waver. Before he could even lower the weapon and apologize for his actions, he felt a sting in his neck. Ven turned just in time to see the needle get pulled out. 

“Terra?”

“Terra!” His dad yelled with disapproval.

His body felt sluggish already. The gun fell from limp hands and his body collapsed against Terra who hugged him close. He wanted to cry at such a betrayal, he couldn’t help but feel calm though. It was like an invasion, and he both hated it and loved it. 

If only it was more though. 

“I hate you, Terra.” The boy mumbled out, deaf to his own ears. His gaze moved to his father then. “I hate all of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get a chapter up sooner rather than later as an apology for last chapter sucking and for being kinda crazy in the notes. I should not have admitted that and I took it out, but to the few that saw it, my bad. Just been having a hard time and paranoia and depression are sparking I guess. Therapist has been out for months thanks to covid so I'm stuck with crisis lines that I feel I'm wasting and listeners on 7cups but the last couple ditched me so. One talked to me today at least.  
> I got to talk to people today so they helped cheer me up a bit so I don't have to be crazy in putting this one up.   
> I can't put stuff up on fanfic right now because the site's just broken right now for some reason so here it is.
> 
> Also someone that beta'd commented on the "to stop Jack just love the world" aspect. I'm a sucker for cheesy stuff like that (The Sonic movie even made me cry because of it.) And it's a note to me to let go of the past that this story is based on and love what there is to find in the world be it nature, new interests, or new people. Just anything to not dwell on what destroys us.


	11. Time locked away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have a trigger of rape, I recommend not reading this chapter. It's not too much I don't think, but just in case.

Ven awoke rather slowly. The entire thing felt like a bad dream. That’s okay though, because that’s all it was right? That meant the burning rage in his body and mind would simmer down pretty quickly. 

Unfortunately, the setting wasn’t what he was hoping for. It was familiar, sure, but in a really really bad way. Those white walls and brown wooden floors. The single, small bathroom with the tiny sims shower connecting to the slightly larger bedroom of two beds. He didn’t even have to explore to know the area, he’d been here plenty of times before. 

“Ah, St James’ mental hospital.” Of course. 

His eye twitched, teeth gritted, and hands clenched with knuckle whitening rage. They ditched him. They found him problematic and ditched him again. Fucking unbeleivable.

_ “Well you did point a gun at your father.”  _ Ava tried from her spot sitting upon the end of the bed and turning her form to look at him through her ornate fox mask. 

“He was making me a prisoner again!” Ven shouted back. That rage may be, but he did manage to calm if only with grief and distress as tears began to slip from his eyes. “They got rid of me again…” 

On his bed, he curled his legs, pulling them close to his chest and hugging them tight. Ven then laid his head on them, tears sliding and falling to land on kneecaps and drizzle down his legs.

_ “Ven, it’ll be alright, it always is. They’ll come back.” _

**_“No they won’t.”_ ** His own voice spat in his mind. Ven brought his head up to counter it, but it carried on, even showing itself. Much like Corvus, it was a carbon copy of himself. Although the differences were that he wore black trousers, black dress shoes, and a half white, half black button up dress shirt. Not only that, but more interestingly enough, his own visage staring back at him had moss growing on his face and in his hair. To top it off, he had green hair and there was a crown of branches jutting from the skull and circling the front of his head. Actually, they didn’t look painful, but natural.  **_“Even if they do, they’re just going to keep abandoning you, us, everytime we’re too loose. Whenever we step outside of their boundaries, they’ll throw us away again. They never liked us. They just use us and throw us away when we’re not worth it anymore.”_ ** There was so much venom to his tone, but could Ven blame him. He made one mistake to calm down and not hurt anyone, and everyone was mad at him and taking away his newfound freedom.  **_“Get mad, Ven. They deserve it. Release me and I’ll deal with it.”_ **

“Release you?” He asked, misery more prominent than rage, though it was filling up quite well, almost like he would drown in it soon. “Why would I do that? You’re probably Jack.”

**_“Because you want revenge. I can tell you do.”_ ** Motioning off to Ava, he scoffed  **_“And nothing this faker is going to say will help. She’s just going to tell you what you want to hear, not what you need to hear.”_ ** He looked to Ava, but she seemed frozen. Did she not hear that? 

He moved, crawling towards her to get her attention. She didn’t budge and his hand went right through her, leaving a sting to his heart and a grimace on his face. 

**_“Face it, you’re all alone.”_ ** He crawled up close, practically hissing at him through gritted teeth. If he were real, Ven bet he’d be able to feel his breath on his face.  **_“The only true friends you ever had were poisoned just to test it out, drained of blood for a bs cure to ungrateful bastards, put to sleep because humanity was too dreadful, and finally you, you were burned alive for being a witch when all you tried to do was help people. Is that really what you want to protect?”_ **

The names of the sufferers and deceased came to mind as he spoke of them. Constantin, Tya, Amelia, then himself. What was it he was remembering though? It hurt, he wished it would stop, leading him to fall back against the baseboard of his bed and curl back up in a ball and cry to himself, to the loss of his friends.

**_“Don’t wallow, get mad, get revenge for it.”_ **

It was hard. Hard to ignore the pain in his chest. The memories seeping in of friends he could barely remember, but even that failure infuriated him. 

It was all coming back to him, everything from Serene, New Serene, fucking Theleme and Hikmet. And those bastards in the 16th century iteration that burned him alive. Speaking of which, he finally remembered the passcode to the phone. Obviously, it’s his fucking birthday. Dumbfuck. But not his current birthday, his original one when he was still human. 

1695.

Well not much he could do about it now. He didn’t have his phone, because why would they let him be entertained. With his luck, they probably trashed the damn thing because of the whole Jack business. What garbage. Just because Terra had to find those clothes and his nerfed self had to freak per fuckin’ usual. Guess it was a good thing he kept the hoverboard at Mercury’s apparently. Dipshit wonder would get that confiscated too. 

It’s fine though, he was probably brought in his outfit so he could probably get it back when he left. Not that it mattered, it wasn’t hard to make. Still that begged the question of what to do while he was in captivity. Not only that, but how long would his memories last before the trauma forced them away again?

He was never sure. It just depended on how much his brain could handle. Probably too much for a human maybe. That’s all he could think of anyway. Maybe he should talk to Constantin to lose his humanity again. Why the hell was he even reborn as a human anyway. And a renaigse at that. Appalling. It’s alright though, he managed to become on ol menawi again on his own. Connie showed him the place so. Actually, he could always look for more sites to sap power, but then he’d be sapping from Constantin. 

“Well what comes around goes around. Did it to my god, I can do it to you.”

**_“We both know well that you’re not going to kill Constantin.”_ ** The woman in feathered robes, fox skull mask, and antlered skull scoffed with crossed arms.

“Gee, mom, of course I’m not gonna kill Connie. It was just a thought to stop losing my memories. Get off my back.”

**_“Any of us could heal your mind into keeping them, but you like being complacent and ignorant. You hate having your memories.”_ **

“Maybe I should keep them because apparently I’ll get fucked either way.”

**_“Maybe if you didn’t have a side business of torturing people on camera for money.”_ **

“You killed a man for halting our search for Vanitas because I was worried he was hurting his wife and Amelia was going to get the authorities on it, so I did things right in warning after that vision, but you were selfish and impatient. And then I got blamed for being a witch because he suddenly dropped dead when the freak touched him, so thanks for that.”

**_“That was millenia ago, Ventus, let it go.”_ **

“Oh you want me to just ignore the fact that you were murdered, I was converted by religious assholes, and all of us got royally fucked because no one could stop fighting for five seconds?” Ven stopped a moment, getting off the bed and prepping to leave. “Actually no, mom, you can’t call me out on getting over it, because every world has been the same. No one has been able to stop fighting. It’s been the same fear mongering and manipulative shit over and over again and Amelia’s never going to wake up because these fuck ups can’t get it right. They can’t just treat the land right or eachother so why should I bother being nice to them any longer?”

**_“You’re supposed to be a benevolent guardian that watches over the people and observes happenings then reports it to Constantin. That’s your role.”_ **

“Oh Constantin’s a big boy, he can handle me taking a bit of a vacation.” Ven waved off, heading out of the room. “I think after being burned as a witch, I deserve a bit of paid time off, don’t you?”

**_“Why are you going out there?! We’re talking!”_ ** His mother hissed. 

“Simple, they can’t see or hear you because you’re an expert illusionist, as am I now. You also control space, as do I, among many other things. So I can talk to you and look like a loon all I want. I always look crazy because when I’m a dipshit, I’m talking to the fucking fakes that stole your appearance because my mind apparently couldn’t remember the real you well enough. Also congrats on being my cat, I’d love to see you hack up a furball one day.”

**_“Of course I know I can’t be seen or heard! That doesn’t answer the question of why you’re leaving your room. You shouldn’t be around others if your memories are back.”_ ** Avarisia scolded.

“I’m scoping out the competition.”

**_“Competition of what? It’s a mental hospital made to help you. Are you insane?!”_ **

Bringing a fist to press against his chest, he pathetically remarked like a damsel only to get more aggressive as he went on “Oh it’s so nice of you to notice finally that your son has a few screws loose.”

**_“You’re lucky that Constantin made us observers and told me not to stop your nightly antics.”_ **

Turning to face his ancient mother once again, he brought his hands up beside his head and waved them open handed with pizzazz. “Oh my old decrepit mother is going to stop me. But you’re right, you’re not allowed to intervene with humans. And guess what, I’m human with divine powers so sucks bitch.” He brought two middle fingers up to wave at her then dropped them to proceed once more. “Not that I’ve used my powers on anyone. Haven’t had to yet, but let’s change that.”

**_“You’re not all the way human, Ventus.”_ ** She hisses.

“Oh and who ever heard of nadaigeis attacking one another. I sure haven’t. And if you did, you’d cause destruction that would displease your oh so precious god.”

**_“I do not treat that idiot as my God!”_ **

“Face it mom, Constantin stole our God’s powers along with us, he’s head honcho now so you report to him. We all do. But as I said, I’m taking a vacation to enjoy my new life.”

**_“You’re destroying people’s lives!”_ **

“Yeah, before they destroy mine again.”

**_“And what has Strelitzia done? Hm? I know you’ve hacked her and looked everything over. She’s clean and one of the good ones. Why kill her?”_ **

“To get to her brother of course. He allowed my medical records to get leaked without even trying to stop it, so Strelitzia gets to die for it.”

**_“Then kill him instead! Him and that bitch Elrena!”_ **

“You know it hurts more if you’re left standing. Sure I hated my death, but it wasn’t the death that did it. It was everything I witnessed to my people, my friends, and myself.” Reaching the door to the cafe, he looked through the window. Seemed like lunch so perfect timing to come in and chat with people. “Now shoo, I have work to do.”

**_“You don’t shoo you’re mother.”_ ** She scolded.

“Sorry, pretty sure I just did.” The boy mocked. 

He opened the door then, trotting in like he owned the place. If he had a cane, he’d probably be twirling it like an arrogant jackass. He didn’t though, which was a shame. Still, looked to be plenty of people to mess with. First up was--

“Oh, Ven, you’re awake.”

Apparently nobody because the orderlies had to get in the damn way. But right, he was supposed to act like a shy retard. Fine. Ven switched his approach, changing his demeanor to what he usually showed, a small cowering boy closed in on himself as he feigned looking to everyone with both fear and interest. What bull.

The worker came up to him, a nurse, not an orderly. Fucking dumbass. “Your dad picked out your meals for you. Did you want to look over them to see if they’re right?”

“Oh no, I trust my family.” The boy stated in a sickeningly sweet tone, a smile to match. God it pissed him off. Could he get to something fun already?

“Wonderful! We’ll have your food out in a moment, just sit tight alright.” 

“Alright!” Ventus beamed in a high and cheery voice. Once the nurse left, his eager deflated and he groaned, rolling his eyes. Right, targets.

Oh there was a cute girl. What was her problem? Depression? Oh how sad. Time to make it worse.

Walking up to the girl of long orange hair, hey she almost reminded him of Strelitzia. He wouldn’t mind having her in bed sometime. Maybe he could get her doppelganger in bed. Actually better yet, maybe he should make her look like Streltzia. A snap of his fingers later and she did. Perfect match. Of course the voice wasn’t going to fit, but he never had heard Strel moaning so probably won’t be too different. 

He sat beside Strelitzia’s doppelganger and smiled as sweetly as he could manage without throwing up. “Hi, I’m Ventus, but you can call me Ven.” She was sipping on a juice box when he bothered her, leading for a lag in reaction time. She turned to notice him though, and surprisingly was happy about it. Did he make her appear happy, or was she truly? He wasn’t sure, but he didn’t care. 

_ “Don’t hurt her.” _

Ah his own voice. His own moral compass so to speak. Easy to ignore though

“Hello, Ven.” She returned the cheery greeting. Actually, it almost made him feel bad. Was that his other set of memories tugging at him. No, there was no time to focus on that so he rushed it, moving closer to press a kiss to her lips. She was startled to say the least, but he held a hand up to cup her face and brush a thumb along her cheek. 

It set in, and she backed up with a beet red look of surprise and confusion and was that panic? Damn.

He gave another sweet smile. “I’m sorry, you just looked so beautiful that I couldn’t help myself. You remind me of a disney princess.”

Her face reddened further and she turned her flustered attention down. Was she having a panic attack? Her breathing picked up tremendously after all. Guess he broke her with one kiss. That was boring, but who was next if Strel’s clone was off the list already. Not all the way though, he still intended to sleep with her sometime.

There was one, the jittering and pissed off looking girl. She looked easy to break. Much easier than Strel but he’d have to see. He slid next to the gangly looking chick and mused “And what’s your deal?”

“Fuck off.” 

“Ooh, feisty. Should I have started with the bullshit intro? I tried it on little miss bo-peep over there, but she seems to have broke after one kiss.” He pointed back with his thumb the girl now in tears.

“You kissed the rape victim? What’s wrong with you?” The girl scolded.

“Oh she’s a rape victim, sweet, I know just what to do to her then.” He smiled with pure glee. Now he  _ had  _ to sleep with her.

“Get the fuck away from me, freak!” The jittering girl shoved at him. 

“That’s not very nice.” He practically pouted rather pitifully. “Tell me what’cher in for and I might be able to help you. You look like an addict to me, that true?”

“What will it take to get you away from me?” She just about growled.

“What do you I have to be fucking Lucifer? Just tell me what you desire, bitch, for fuck’s sake.”

“Cigarettes alright!” The smoker snapped back. Ven didn’t even miss a beat in pulling a pack from under his arm quite like a magic trick. Lighter and all. “You mean like these cigarettes?” That made the girl cooperative. Whether they were her choice or not, he wasn’t sure, but she sure as fuck needed one given how fast she grabbed for them. He pulled them away though. 

“Tell me everyone’s secrets and they’re yours.”

She seemed hesitant if only for a second. Didn’t take much to breach that security though. 

“Honestly, the rest are here because of depression. She was raped, and I have cigarettes. The rest are common.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

“Cigarettes, now.”

Ven scoffed, taking two from the pack and handing her one and keeping the other for himself. He put it in his mouth, lighting and taking a drag off of it. That easily calmed his nerves a bit. Not really great to do if he still had things to do, so handed it off to the smoker bitch who eagerly took it to smoke. 

It wasn’t a guarantee that he’d lose his memories if he calmed down, but he wasn’t about to chance it when he had one more goal in mind. Keeping the pack of cigarettes secured in his back pocket, he made a new lighter by cupping his hand to the table. When he moved it, the lighter was in the previously empty spot. Ven proceeded to put that with the pack in his back pocket as he moved back over to the clone. She was still panicking, trying to get someone’s attention, but while he was in the room, everything looked normal thanks to illusions. To the nurses and other kids, the smoker was still vibrating with rage, Strel clone was still sipping juice, and Ven was just sitting by himself. It was too easy.

“Lemme’ help you with that.” He practically cooed in her ear. It was more like a hiss in disguise however, and she panicked further. Yelling and crying for someone to help her to no avail. He almost felt bad. As he dragged her off though, he could see his mother’s disappointing glare from beneath that fox skull of hers. 

“What? I’m just giving the little whore what she asks for.” She cried further and fought against him. Annoying but amusing at the same time. 

**_“Since when did you become a rapist?”_ **

“Since humans became less than animals and the ground we walk on. They’re simply here for our amusement and entertainment.” Ven turned to the girl who’s name he still failed to catch and grabbed her by the chin to force her into looking at him. “Now entertain me because frankly I’m pissed off that my family ditched me again. So be a good girl and help me calm down will ya.”

**_“If you wanted to be calmed down, just smoke, Ventus!”_ **

“And since when do you care about renaigse? Never bothered you before when we fought and killed them even when they weren’t hurting us, so why the change of heart?”

**_“They were killing our land!”_ **

“Those researchers didn’t do jackshit and you know it.” He scoffed. “C’mon, you know I have a rape kink, just let me enjoy myself would you. It’s not my fault they trapped a psychopath in a small place with vulnerable children.”

**_“It’s entirely your fault. You pointed a gun at your father! I would have done the same thing!”_ **

Dragging the screaming and crying girl from the cafe with minimal effort, thank god for exercising the fat away, Ven huffed. “Good to know everyone’ll throw me away even when I’m being good. Now at least I know if I’m bad, I’ll know why I was thrown away.”

**_“Is that what this is about?”_ ** She scolded.  **_“You’re upset that you’re wronged so you’re wronging others? Then why give the smoker what she wants.”_ **

“It doesn’t take vision to see lung cancer in her future. Who am I to stand between her and fate.”

**_“Ventus!”_ **

He’d dragged the poor girl to one of the rooms further down the hallway. There were no locks on the doors, but that was okay, they probably wouldn’t take it too seriously that some people might’ve had to go to the bathroom. 

Once he was in the room though, he threw the screaming girl onto the bed. God she was perfect. She thrashed and screamed the perfect amount. It was so exhilarating. He could almost die with glee, but that meant he had to hurry up. He could already feel his memories start to fade if only because her reactions were just so glorious.

He couldn’t help but laugh with utter joy. 

“ _ Dum, dum, dum, honey what have you done? _

_ Dum, dum, dum it's the sound of my gun”  _

Ven started to sing quite nonchalantly and inappropriately for the situation. A clap of his hands and sway of his hips as he mused to the tune in his mind.

She tried to flee, but the door was steadfast as she tried and failed to open it. Wind was pretty powerful when concentrated. Speaking of which, maybe a bit of fun. 

_ “Dum, dum, dum, honey what have you done? _

_ Dum, dum, dum it's the sound” _

With a smile on his face, he stole the air from her throat, making her choke and whimper quiet pleas for help. He couldn’t hear them, but he saw her mouth it at least, allowing him to let up. It was jarring, but he stopped being in the mood.

“Fine.” He scoffed, ceasing his tune and releasing them both from the illusion and allowing her exit. She wasted no time in running away from him and screaming for help, no doubt help that would come in seconds now that the illusion was dismantled. It’s alright though, because if he got blamed, then he’d keep his rage and memories. His other self wouldn’t be allowed out. It was perfect actually so he ran after her again. 

She made it to the cafe again, but that was perfect. A crowd to bear witness. 

By the time he came in, he’d created a gun to point at the occupants of the cafe. 

“Ventus!” The nurse from before breathed out in a panic. “Where did you get that?!”

“I have creation powers.” He shrugged nonchalantly. “I’ve had them for millions of years so I know how to use them. Same with the rest of my abilities.” The nurses looked to what now actually were orderlies, probably came running at the screams. “Now hand me the girl and I won’t shoot anyone.”

They didn’t make a move, not at first, but they also didn’t hand the girl who’d hugged the nurse and cried over. 

“Your loss.” Again, he shrugged. He aimed it at the sobbing redhead. “I always did like corpses anyway. So obedient they are.” 

Steadying his aim, he began a new song    
_ “Ra-ta-ta-ta Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta” _

He pulled the trigger, only for the gun to be moved and shot at towards the ground instead, just narrowly missing his foot. 

With a scowl, he turned to find another orderly behind him. Well fuck, maybe he should have paid attention to how the air shifted. Got too greedy he guessed. 

Said guard tore the gun from his hand and hugged him tight to her body, restraining Ventus’ arms and pulling him off the ground for him to kick pathetically at his assailant.

The nurse that greeted him earlier reluctantly let go of the crying girl for another nurse to handle and came up to him then, much calmer now that some bitch had to restrain him. “You are not Ventus. I know that boy, and he’s sweet and caring. He would never do anything like this so who are you?”

“Sorry not sorry, but the Ventus you know is nothing but an illusion. I’m the real Ventus. He’s just an imposter. He might as well be the annoying voice in  _ my _ head.”

“No, you’re the one that comes out when he blacks out.” She hissed. He knew her. Her name was Maria. She was usually his caretaker in this place. Real nice, but real dumb. “Now let him come back.”

“Well gee, I would return to my retarded self, but I’m too high strung to. That’s why I was trying to fuck that bitch. Endorphins and shit.”

“You were just trying to hurt me!” The girl cried. 

“Well,” He cocked his head “You’re right about that, but if I did fuck her, I’d be back to the Ven you know so just let me do it and we all win.”

“We will never let you hurt anyone here.” Maria hissed, hands balled into fists at her sides. Real sexy when she was mad. 

“Alright, how about you fuck me then. I do love a good rape, but I guess since this asshole has me restrained, I’m a bit outta luck huh.”

“No, we know how to handle Ven when he’s acting out and dangerous.” 

“Oh you mean by drugging me like my family? That’ll make the trust issues go away. But by all means, drug me. I’ll stick around and the Ven you know’ll keep getting lost in my infinite rage. 

Maria moved closer to stand before Ven and his asshole assailant. She stood right before him. “You can let him go.”

“Are you sure?” The guard asked.

“Positive.”

She was reluctant, but did as requested and let the troublesome blond go. He immediately went for the gun, but Maria grabbed his arm to stop him. It’s alright though, working out all the time made him stronger than her.

“It’ll be alright, Ven.” She assured softly. It sounded genuine too. He never doubted Maria though, she always was genuine. 

Ven stopped his chase and turned to give her a scowl, one full of fresh tears that threatened to stream down his face.

“It’s never alright though. Nothing’s going right even in this life. I’ve lived for lifetimes and I’ve never seen it go right.” He cried. He used his free arm to wipe away tears from his eyes. He supposed such a phrase was just a sweet spot for him. How annoying. 

“Then help me understand what’s hurting you.” She insisted calmly. “I don’t know if you are Ven or not, but you’re hurt so let me help you.”

“I am Ven.” He muttered, head hung. “But no one wants to accept that because they see me when I’m normal so they separate me from my rage.”

“Alright then, Ven, how about we go to my office and you can tell me what’s wrong.”

It was tempting, and he really wanted to do it, but she wouldn’t understand anything so would there be a point? She’d just think he’s delusional. He supposed he could show her magic, but that might make her afraid of him and he didn’t want that. She was too special to lose.

“Drug me, I don’t want to remember anymore. I want to be ignorant again.”

“I’ve heard about your addiction, Ventus, we’re not going to drug you.”

He gritted his teeth at that, scowling. “Fine, then let me go to bed. I want to calm down more first.” 

Maria looked to the orderly and nodded. They released him. He didn’t even bother looking towards the gun this time. Instead, he did as he said, walked out with an escort and to his room to lay back down. The escorting guard pulled the blankets over him which he couldn’t help but be softly thankful over. Gave him the guise he needed to create a syringe fill with valium. He waited until the guard had left without a word though, taking in the air to note that she stood in the door for a moment to watch him. Once she left though, he wasted no time in injecting the drug into his arm.

Plenty for a rush of much needed euphoria. It was so calming. So peaceful. So nice. Something he needed very much after the day he’d had. A shame, he didn’t actually get to take his anger out on anyone this time, but that was okay, he still felt good even without the drug or assault. Actually, he felt a bit bad for the assault. If he still had his memories when he woke up, maybe he’d apologize. But later, for now he’d hide the evidence of the needle under his pillow and sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I've always just wanted people to tell me it'll be okay, instead they never know what to say, say I need help and leave it there, or just yell at me. How helpful that is. 
> 
> Since this is a vent fic, lemme' preface this with I've never raped anyone because I have just zero interest being ace and all so that'd be hard for me anyway, not to mention I'm not dumb and know it's wrong, but I have made violent mistakes that no one will begin trying to understand. They yell and that leads to more anger and fuels such behaviour more. It's just an unfortunate cycle. If you wanna know such mistakes, well ya gotta find me on 7cups because I already admitted too much on here the other day and sure I'm more susceptible to admitting things at night like now, but not this time. This is already incriminating enough.
> 
> Oh! The Lego Movie quote about not having to be the bad guy I wish someone would say to me. I always feel like the bad guy even when I'm told I'm not but I know that thought process affects how I think and act.
> 
> But yeah, for some reason my Ven's straight up just always had a rape kink. I think it's control reasons since no control over his life so he wants absolute control over that?


	12. Odd friends

It felt like all he did was sleep, but was that a bad thing? It kept him in check. It kept him from pointing guns at his father. Kept him from taking a knife to his siblings in crazed mania and episodes. It kept everyone safe, so was it really that bad for him to sleep? Maybe it would be better for him to be comatose or even dead.

Not only that, but how could he get up after hearing about his most recent actions. Apparently giving someone cigarettes and trying to assault someone else. How could he live with the things he did? He’d use the syringe on himself, the one he found under his pillow, but they’d already confiscated it. How it would kill him though, he wasn’t sure, but he didn’t have the option, nor the knowledge of where it came from when they asked. 

He didn’t get up. He didn’t fight his meds to stay awake. He didn’t try anything. Not even to meet any of the others. He’d just put them at risk so he locked himself away in his room, talking only to those workers that came to him to check in on him and see how he was doing. It was always the same hopeless answer of wanting death though. Either curled up in a ball against his headboard, crying to himself, or crying hidden in a ball under the covers. Maybe if he shrunk himself enough, he’d disappear.

Ven didn’t even greet his family when they visited on the weekends. He was told they arrived, but all he could do was cry harder and burrow deeper into his piss poor excuse for blankets. He didn’t leave his room so they never saw him, and even if it was his own fault for not coming out, it still hurt immensely that they left without seeing him. They really didn’t care after all. 

By the first failed visit, Ven stopped paying attention to everyone. He’d taken his hearing aid out, and miraculously refrained from breaking it. The thought to choke on it came to mind, but he doubted it was big enough to do any damage. Maybe cause for discomfort for a moment, but nothing much he was sure so no real point in trying. That left him placing it on the nightstand to completely disregard it. The only thing he’d use it for is to hear himself sing after all, but apparently his singing scared some people there so he was banned from doing it for their safety. It aggravated him that they took everything away from him. He shouldn’t allow himself to get too angry though, that’s lead to those devastating black outs. 

Did it matter now though? It’s not like he had anything to lose. He no longer had a family, friends, anything. So really, what was stopping him from letting Jack free again?

Maybe he could try to die again. But what else could he do? Sooner or later, he’d end up in a padded room in a straight jacket with all his attempts. They already posted an orderly outside his door to listen for thumping as he tried bashing his head in against the wall. They also trimmed his nails so he couldn’t claw into his flesh and imitate anime in clawing out his own throat, though he wasn’t entirely sure that was even possible in the first place. 

That left nothing, much unlike the mind that raced and raced and raced for something to believe in only to come up with nothing every twist and turn. Maybe it was the same after all then.

The only thing he managed to get right was eating. They’d brought him his food three times a day with his medicine, and he without fail devoured the entire thing. It helped. Eating that is. There was  _ something  _ to it so those were the only times to revel. It reminded him of his gluttonous ways when he was younger. Always eating to soothe the pain of isolation. It was comforting, and he found it again. The only times of day to really wait for. He practically lived for it, though it was disappointing when they forced him to take a shower before offering his meal for the time. That really was the only way to get him to do it though, hold his precious food hostage. 

All that laying around and pigging out brought forth two nuisances though, one bear and one leopard. How annoying.

_ “You’re going to be upset if you gain weight again.”  _ Gula insisted. 

“Oh yeah? And who’s going to bully me in this empty room?” He spat back rather dismally. His speech was nearly devoid of emotion, only a hint of it remained.

_ “That doesn’t mean you should be giving up.” _ Aced huffed, arms crossed as he glared down at Ventus’ pathetically curled form. He was against the headboard of his bed, curled in a ball again and merely glancing at those that spoke to him. Try as he might, he couldn’t help but to revel in the company. He did miss it, but everyone was afraid of him so there was no point in trying to mingle with those that were actually real. 

“My family just puts up with me, they don’t actually want me and I’m nothing more than a monster anyway apparently so why does it matter?” His voice cracked towards the end as tears stung at his eyes. He sniffled, wiping sleeved hands at them.

_ “Think about it. Who’s fault is this really?”  _ Gula brought up. Ven kept his head down however, leading for Aced to speak in his stead.

_ “It’s that barbarian’s fault for kicking you out for just trying to keep them safe. You’re really going to let them get away with that? They took your life away from you.” _   
  


“They did not, it was just a misunderstanding. They didn’t mean it.”

_ “Then talk to them about it.”  _ A new voice. Feminine, soft. One he loved. Ava.  _ “It’s going to continue upsetting you if you do nothing about it.” _

“And how am I supposed to do that when I’m barred from school? It’ll be weird if I tried to talk to them outside. Too pushy and annoying. They’d just get mad at me.”

_ “Then show your dad that you’re more than capable of going back to school.” _ The bear again, so high and mighty he was, but Ven couldn’t blame him. 

“How am I going to do that here?”

_ “Well would you rather off yourself pathetically or actually try to fix things?”  _ Gula.

“I-” He lifted his head up.

_ “We know you’re afraid to die, Ven, so maybe it’s time to start trying again.”  _ Ava moved to his side, extending an arm to cup her hand against his cheek. She might not have been real, but he could swear he could feel her touch against him. 

“I’m scared to be rejected again…” The boy lifted his head and cried to her. 

_ “And that’s okay, but you’ll keep rejecting yourself for them until you get up to try and face them yourself. You never know, it might turn out well if you just explain yourself.”  _

Sniffling again, he wiped away further tears and nodded. Ven leaned over after unfolding himself and grabbed for his hearing aid, bringing it up to put it back in finally. How long had he been without it? Felt like forever. He’d try to gauge by how many meals he’d had or how many times he heard about his family coming, but it all blurred together so it wasn’t of much use. He’d just have to ask then.

For once in god knows how long, Ven got out of the bed and hesitantly snuck out of the bedroom. It was a bit pointless thanks to the guard posted outside his room though. The blond offered a nervous smile to them whereas they offered a bright one back. It was a bit infectious, leading his own to brighten a bit, though it was still rather wary. 

“Ready to come out?”

“How long was I locked away?”

“About a month.” He visibly cringed at the notion. He’d been doing nothing but eating and sleeping that long? He almost felt heavier just hearing that. It lead to clear panic, but there were more important things to attend to so he tried to bite it back.

“How many times did I miss my family?” He was a bit hesitant in asking that, but he felt he needed to know. He needed to know how often he blatantly ignored them.

“They were here every weekend, waiting from open session to closed.”

“Everytime?” Ven breathed out in disbelief. “So they did care then?”

“One of them actually made a scene about wanting to see you. We had to stop him from leaving the designated area and wandering.” The guard chuckled at that, but Ven didn’t find it very funny. Instead he felt tears well in his eyes as he looked back up at her. 

“They must hate me for ignoring them so long.”

“Trust me, they don’t hate you.” The orderly gave a knowing smirk. “They’ll do anything for you.”

“Then why did they leave me in here for a month?”

“You were refusing treatment and trying to kill yourself everyday, kid, they were concerned for your safety.”

“If they’d just let me go to school I’d be fine!”

“So all this is a temper tantrum?” Well when she put it like that, it sounded childish. It was more than that though, he just didn’t know how to explain. 

Ven huffed with offense, puffing out his cheeks and pouting a bit. “Can I just know when my family can visit again, I’m ready to go home.”

“That’ll be up to your dad to let you go home.”

“Right, because he’s been the one keeping me here.” Ven stuck his tongue for a quick “bleh” before quickly pulling it back in. “So when’s the next time they can come, please be today.” 

“It is today, but you’ll have to wait for the time to come. It’s time for lunch now after all so why don’t you interact with people and eat.”

“Can I skip my meal actually.” Looking down at himself, he brought a hand up to feel at his stomach and squish it with disgust. It was obvious, but he still looked back up to shine a bright smile. “I’m already full.”

“”You come here several times a year, kid, we know all about you.” 

He deflated then only to perk back up and shrug. “That’s fine. I’m sure I could find a way to choke on my food anyway.”

The orderly crossed their arms, giving quite the disapproving look. 

“Relax, I’m not going to kill myself.” Ven smiled. “I have things to do.” He seemed so proud and determined. At least before he quickly remarked “But if it falls through, expect me in either here again or the obituary.” Before she had a chance to give a statement on the matter, Ven scurried off towards the general meeting area which also happened to be for lunch and activities. Everything but gym and movies really.

_ Aww man, I missed out on all the movies. _

That’s okay though, he supposed he could just watch movies with Terra, Aqua, and his dad. Oh and Matir and everyone else too! He missed them all so much. But mainly his cat. She was so snuggly. God, he just wanted to hug her and squish her against his face and nuzzle into her soft, black fur. 

_ Squish the cat! _

For later though! For now he had to skip out on lunch to make up for being a slob for a month. Maybe work out a bit after talking with some people and waiting for his family to come save him. He supposed he could hide from lunch and skip out on talking too, but what’s the point in other people if they weren’t there to talk and befriend him? A selfish outlook maybe, but it’s just how he worked. If they didn’t want to befriend him, then they were nothing more than npcs to take advantage of or ignore. Why should he stick around people that didn’t like him for no reason? He was great.

Actually, that was a little irritating to think about. 

**_“Sorry, but the guys I tormented are already gone. You’ll have to find someone else now.”_ **

“I’m not tormenting people just because they won’t befriend me!” Ventus hissed back to who wasn’t real. 

**_“Gee, I’m not telling you to, I’m just stating a fact in case you wanna be pissed off without your memories.”_ **

“Sorry, but unlike you, I solve my problems sanely.”

**_“I’m not insane! I’m the only sane person on the planet!”_ **

He hadn’t even realized it, but his own anger boiled to an overflowing point. His hands were balled to tight fists, and his teeth gritted painfully. Ven even got a few weird looks from those in the cafeteria. Perhaps for coming in after being overall absent and being pissy to top it off. What a great introduction to him, not that his first was apparently anything but the worst already. 

Ven took in the many faces having lunch and otherwise interacting and even playing games with eachother. They looked at him with concern. It was infuriating even, but also saddening so he dimmed, looking to a place where no one sat to isolate himself from the rest. Maybe he should just go back to his room and await his family there. Maybe talking to people was a mistake. It had been before after all. 

Not even moments after he sat down to tear at his blond hair in frustration for his ineptitude, someone came up to him. A little boy in a light blue sun dress, head topped with brown locks and a brimming smile on his face. Or wait, was he a guy then if he was wearing a dress? Should he say she? 

“Hi! My name’s Isaac!” The child reached a hand out for Ven to shake. The blond eyed those watching over them however and shook his head at the other as he loosened his grip on his golden hair. 

“We’re not supposed to touch each other.” He informed. That appeared to sadden the young child. Wait, why was he here? He looked much too young to be in their age group. Definitely nowhere near a teenager, but maybe looks were deceiving?

“Oh.” The boy faltered though not for long as his smile came back, shining bright as ever. He kept to himself this time, fiddling with his sun dress. “Well I’m Isaac.” The child stated once again. He titled his small head to the side. “Are you the one that we’re told to be wary of?”

That stung enough to wet his eyes and leave a pang to his chest. 

_ I see, so I’ve been warned about. _

Maybe he should eat after all. Now he felt particularly hungry. The most he could do while he waited was chew on his fingers as usual. That was too odd though, so he halted himself before anyone could say anything on the matter. Claim him insane and incapable of leaving this place. 

Would they be wrong though?

His head hung and eyes glistened with tears that fell to his lap and on the table before him. “Well, Isaac” Ven breathed out a bit harshly yet pathetically. “Why are you here if you were told against it?”

“Because, we wanna know what the fuss is all about.” Another person. This one a girl. She had brown hair that went to her shoulders and wore a white sleeved top with a black undershirt lain over it. The rest of her attire consisted of a black checkered skirt with black leggings underneath and coal combat boots. She had another with her, a boy...why the hell was he wearing a burgundy suit in a mental hospital. Or well it was just the jacket of one anyway, the rest of his look was more understandable with wearing a grey t-shirt underneath, brown bangs rivaling Leon Scott Kennedy, a true hero that man, and then blue jeans and regular white tennis shoes.

“Are you checking out my girlfriend?” The boy asked.

“Was I staring at you both too long?” Ven asked, a bit red in the face. He wiped his tears away, but failed to be any less distressed.

“Isn’t she great?!” The suit-wearing boy bolstered, gripping either side of the girl and shaking her. They were promptly told to keep their hands off one another, as Ven expected, to which they obeyed but rather smugly. 

“So...what do you all want exactly? Also who are you two?”

“Phoebe.” The girl motioned to herself then to the boy behind and beside her. “And Cole.” She leaned forward, hand on the table to keep her balance as she just about studied Ven’s crying face. “So crying boy, who do you think’ll win the election this year?”

Oh god, did he even know anything about politics? He was a nerd that never left home and stayed up way too late playing video games and dancing to k-pop. 

“I think I’d rather talk about how I’m crazy actually.” At least then he’d actually have some input.

“Nonsense.” The brunette waved off. “Take your pick. Ted Bundy, Elizabeth Bathory, The Zodiac Killer, or Jeffery Dahmer.” She held up a finger for each as she counted them out.

Did he hear that right though? 

“I’m sorry, but what?”

“You heard me, small fry, now pick your candidate to represent.”

“Represent what though?”

“Just pick and provide your case for why you should win the election for president? Roleplaying.”

“I’ve roleplayed, but I don’t think I’ve ever played real people, let alone serial killers before.” Narrowing his eyes, he sighed and rolled them. “Not that the true crime community or whatever isn’t a thing, thinking killers are hot and all. I think that’s the right fandom anyway.”

”I’m part of the true crime community.” Phoebe remarked. Oh crap, she looked pretty disappointed in him. “I’d let Jeffery Dahmer wring my neck while whispering sweet nothings in my ear.” And this is why the true crime community was weird. 

“Now I’m not an expert, but did Dahmer do that to people? I really don’t know because I don’t research murderers and stuff. I don’t really live in the real world much.”

“Oh I have no idea either. And I wouldn’t let that happen either. I’d kick him in the nuts if he came after me.” She excused with a small laugh. Oh thank god, she was kidding. “Cole would blow him up for me though, wouldn’t you?” She gave the boy a quick kiss for him to hum against. Again, they were yelled at for touching. They didn’t pay much mind to the nurse though. It wasn’t Maria so what was the point in trying. Probably the bitch that told people to be wary of him, he knew Maria wouldn’t have done that.

“I wouldn’t be proud of it, but if it was necessary to stop another bloodthirsty murderer, then I might. I’d definitely defend you against them though.”

“Another one?” Ven chuckled. “How many bloodthirsty murderers have you gone against?”

“A whole cult of them.” The two replied together. Ven’s carefree demeanor ceased as they didn’t look to be making that up. Were they delusional. Shit, did they actually kill people?

“They were a blood cult for the devil. Mix the blood of the sacrificed with the blood of an innocent, and they’d get whatever life they wished for.” Cole proceeded on to explain. “Try mentioning that and not getting committed though.” 

“It’s all true though, I saw the whole thing, and I’m sound of mind.” The brunette again. 

“Are...are you two okay?” Ven asked hesitantly. Actually that made him wonder, what was Isaac’s deal? He turned to the kid after the two teenagers nodded in confirmation to his question. “What are you in for then?”

“Oh I ran away from my home after I almost suffocated in my toybox with my dead cat, Guppy. My mom tried to kill me because angels told her I was tainted by the devil and full of sin.” Isaac explained. “I try not to play with toys or wear clothes because those are sinful and I’m a bad person.”

“Shit, kid. I thought we had it tough getting hunted down by demons.” Phoebe remarked. And she was completely right too. Ven was blown away with all of their stories.

**_“Wait, I got stuck with rape girl and smoker chick and just normal depression and you get the antichrist and demons? That’s just not even fair.”_ **

And thank god Jack didn’t get access to these kids. God knows what he would have done to them if he offered cigarettes to a smoker in rehab and tried to rape a rape victim. How he did either without getting caught for so long, Ven hadn’t the slightest idea. He managed it though, which was unnerving to say the least. 

**_“Actually, if the demons are real, then we have a serious problem on our hands and have to reboot the world again.”_ **

“I’m not even going to pretend that I know what that means.”

**_“It means I have to tell Constantin to destroy the world to get rid of them.”_ **

Ven blinked, trying hard to process what he was hearing. It sounded insane even to him leaving him to admit, “I’m just kinda insane I guess. A voice is telling me to tell my school counselor to apparently destroy the world and reboot it because you said demons existed so.”

**_“I’m not a voice! Or not just one! I’m your memories!”_ **

“I’d take my hearing aid out, but that won’t stop me from hearing them unfortunately. **_”_ **

“I dunno, you guys seem like you have us beat.” Cole mused. “Our ordeal is over, but it seems like yours never ends and Isaac’s is just starting.” Turning to the small child, he gave a sympathetic smile. “Sorry, buddy, but I’m sure you’ll be outta here and back to your new family soon.”

“Oh, I never found a new family. I just snuck in here so I’m not actually supposed to be here. I’ve been hiding from everyone and staying in spare rooms and eating from the garbage when the nurses aren’t watching.

“But the nurses have been scolding me and Cole all day, and you’ve been around us.”

“Yes, you guys are good at keeping attention on yourselves by touching each other all the time. Plus your fun to listen to.”

The three teens just stared a moment at the child of the group before Ven slammed a hand on the table. “I knew you weren’t supposed to be here!” It made a ruckus, but Cole and Phoebe moved to cover Isaac. As for the nurse looking at them. Ven waved a hand high above the two to show the nurse “Sorry, just crazy again. Should probably tranq me I guess.” He laughed nervously. 

Toning himself down significantly, Ventus hissed through gritted teeth at Isaac “What are you doing here?! Why aren’t you telling anyone that you’re a run away?!”

“I like it here, and if they catch me, I’ll be sent back to my mom where she’ll then stab me with a knife to sacrifice me to god.” As if he wasn’t already creepy enough, he looked up towards the ceiling with awe as he mentioned the last bit.

**_“Yeah, your god’s a dumbfuck that got poisoned millenia ago and sought a cure only to end up a god. So he’s pretty inexperienced. He doesn’t take sacrifices though. I would for the lols, but that’s uncouth for him.”_ **

_ Thanks, Constantin, now I have a god complex thanks to what you told me. Probably read my file and decided to tease me. What a jerk. _

His failing mental health aside. “Isaac, you can’t stay here.”

“He’s right,” Phoebe chimed “You’re going to get caught and killed. You need to escape from authorities.” Looking him up and down, she added “I’d adopt you, but I doubt my aunt’ll allow it.”

“My parents definitely wouldn’t ever let me adopt anyone. They already have their hands full with pumping me full of meds for my apparent delusions.” Cole held up his hands for air quotes. “It’s a little exhausting that only Phoebe will believe me, but seeing is believing I guess.” He sighed. 

Ven opened his mouth to say his condolences only for Jack to speak.

**_“I like these guys, I’m keeping them.”_ **

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

**_“Touch your forehead.”_ **

“Umm why?”

**_“Just do it.”_ **

“God, so pushy.”

“Who’s so pushy?” Cole asked. 

“The voice in my head wants me to touch my forehead for some reason.” Ven stuck his tongue out for another small “bleh.”

“It might be an angel speaking to you. You should do it.” Isaac insisted, hopping up and down against the table.

“What’s the worst that could happen. You look crazy in a mental hospital?”

The two had a point. He supposed he had nothing to lose, but last time he listened to Jack, he nearly raped someone. Was this really a good idea? Then again, what could him touching his forehead do? That doesn’t change people’s personalities right? Could be handy if he ever needed a nutjob to beat up a school bully or something so might as well try it now while he had witnesses. 

Prodding at his forehead left him looking stupider than he’d hoped, but everyone around him seemed to have high expectations. It didn’t do anything though so he went to move.

**_“Hold it there and think about how soothing healing in games would feel.”_ **

“This is stupid.”

**_“Just think about it. Imagine thinking clearly. Hell imagine getting rid of a headache.”_ **

**_“Oh please, Ventus, this isn’t going to work. You can’t visualize memories that you can’t access.”_ ** Another one. Matir!

**_“Well then you do it. Unlock my memories.”_ **

**_“Why? So you can torment people again?”_ **

**_“I’m not tormenting, I’m making friends, now unlock my memories, mom. You want me to get better anyway don’t you so c’mon.”_ **

Ven heard a groan then and oh, it was the feathery looking lady with antlers. Pretty as always but kinda spooky honestly. She moved to him as he stared at her, hand still pressed to his head as he tried in vain to think of what Jack told him. It wasn’t doing anything so he was probably just crazy. He sighed and just as he was about to move his hand, the robed woman slapped his hand off of his head and placed her own against his forehead instead. 

“Wait, how can you interact with me? You’re not real.”

She merely looked at him through her fox skull mask but ignored him. It wasn’t long before he felt a soothing sensation in his mind. It was warm and cool at the same time. It even reminded him of a few, very infuriating things. Those weren’t the topic for now though. He wasn’t here to be angry and resentful, he was looking to fix it. He had to fix it before he messed up further.

Ava stepped away from him then, gaining thanks from her son. She rolled her eyes but smiled.

**_“I love you, Ven. Get better soon.”_ **

**_“I know, mom. I will.”_ **

Looking back to the rest, Ven grinned. “Wanna see a magic trick, Isaac? It involves getting adopted too.”

“I love magic tricks!”

Cupping his hands together and spreading them apart for the width of the object, Ven moved his hands up together to start materializing a snowglobe. The audience watched with awe as it formed. “What do you want in your temporary snowglobe home, Isaac?” Looking back up to Cole and Phoebe, he added “You guys too if you wanna come over.” They were pretty dumbstruck though. Isaac on the other hand was beyond thrilled and clappy enthusiastically over it.

“Can I have a carnival?!”

“A carnival in the snow? Sounds risky on the metal, but I guess the rides are tame enough. I might actually join you after I get home. Consider it done though.” Running his hand over the glass globe, the interior changed to that of a carnival as requested. He looked back to Isaac then. “You ready?” The young boy nodded and Ven placed a hand on his head and one on the globe. Ven closed his eyes to concentrate and a moment later, Isaac had vanished. 

The two teens looked on with awe and amazement, and maybe a bit of concern. “What did you do with him?!” They weren’t mad, so Ven managed to stay calm. 

“He’s in the snow globe. Oh but, he’s too small for us to see since to him, it’s an entire park.” He explained easily. 

Cole opened his mouth to express skepticism and concern, but Phoebe went on ahead to demand “Me next.”

“Really? You want to come with?” Even if that was the plan, he expected to have to take them by force.

“Beats being in a place where everyone gaslights you and thinks you’re crazy right?”

Cole seemed a bit taken aback by his girlfriend’s insistence. Still, he shrunk a bit and said “I guess.” He looked back to Ven. “If she’s going, I’m going too. As long as it’s not more devil worshippers I guess… And it would be better than being where no one believes us.”

Ven smiled, wider than he had in a long time. “I’ll meet you back at my house then. Shouldn’t be too long since my dad should be picking me up today if I whine enough.” Bringing his hand up, he placed one on Phoebe’s hand and the other back on the glass. “I hope you enjoy the little world I managed to make.” And just like that, she was gone as well. It frightened Cole a bit, but Ven assured him as he placed his hand on Cole this time. “It’ll be alright. I’m benevolent. I just have to remember that.” And then he was alone. Would look odd had he not not used illusions to make it look like the crowd dispersed. 

And now to wait. Oh, and keep the snowglobe safe of course. Would be really bad if it broke with people in it. He’s not quite supposed to have something that he could kill himself on though so...huh he didn’t think that far ahead. 

**_“Too busy showing off to new friends that you forgot you were in a mental hospital?”_ ** Avarisia scoffed, arms crossed with disappointment.

Scoffing back with disappointment of his own, Ven remarked  **“Just help me keep it safe until I can get home.”**

**“Just use magic, you seem to be great at flaunting it for someone that’s afraid to use it.”**

**“I’m not going to fear using it in front of people that are deemed crazy. I’m homefree there, no one’ll believe them, but that’s besides the point!**

**_“Fine, if you’re going to be a brat, I’ll use magic and keep it hidden, that way you don’t undo it by accident, and if your dumbass loses your memories again, I can either retrieve them for you or heal you again to get them yourself.”_ **

**“Aww c’mon, I thought it was a good plan.”**

**_“Then just teleport them to your room!”_ **

He paused a moment before muttering  **“Oh yeah.”** Easy peasy then, just tap the glass and whoosh, gone to Terra’s room. Terra actually keeps his door closed so the cat won’t get in and knock it over.

Since all was done and ready, Ven leaned back in his chair, proud of himself.

“You look happy.” The nurse mused with a food tray in her hands. She looked around the table then back to Ven. “Did your friends leave?”

“Uh...yeah, all went back to their rooms I guess.” He shrugged, sitting up then to look over the meal she’d set down for him. Same stuff as he’d been having every afternoon, but it’s not bad, just low quality. And no longer being depressed, he wasn’t much in the mood to eat honestly. He was more in the mood to hear about his family coming. Speaking of.

“Do you know when I’ll get to go home? When my family’s coming to get me?”

The nurse smiled, looked at the clock, then back to him. “Well since you’re eating late, should be soon. Eat up though alright.”

She left then, left him all to his lonesome because his dumbass jumped the gun in shrinking his new friends to a winter wonderland. He really had to get better about planning ahead. At least he had his mom to keep him company, to which he smiled expectantly at her.

**“Why don’t you show yourself when I don’t have my memories?”**

**_“Oh and risk you getting them and being homicidal or thinking you’re even crazier because I can touch you? Great idea, Ven.”_ ** She remarked sarcastically.

**“Ya don’t gotta be mean about it, it was a simple question.”**

**_“Simple questions are for clueless renaigse.”_ **

**“They’re not that bad.”**

**_“Says the kid that’s been trying to kill them all for years.”_ **

**“I was just mad alright, I’m sorry.”**

**_“Tell that to the innocent people you’ve killed and their families.”_ **

Again, tears stung at his eyes. He looked away from his mother and down towards the food instead. Now he was hungry, and it was slow but steadier and more efficient in intaking than he would have done prior.

**_“You’re a murderer, Ven, you can’t act sad.”_ **

He tried to ignore it. All it did was make him sadder after all, and even just a bit wrathful. If he was already judged a murderer and there was no going back, then why should he stop? Why shouldn’t he take his anger out on others? He was doomed anyway. 

As practically shoveled more food into his mouth to ignore his hostile mother. She moved to place both of her hands on his cheeks however, moving one to cup over his forehead as if checking for a fever. There was that familiar soothing sensation again and things felt a bit clearer. She didn’t look hostile anymore, she looked solemn behind her fox skull.

**_“You’re sicker than you ever were before. And no amount of healing seems to be keeping it back.”_ **

He paused in his feasting by then. He wasn’t afraid of it. It felt normal to do even, but he paused to speak. “What are you talking about?”

**_“You’re incomplete, Ven. It’s the toll of carrying abilities and memories over after being reincarnated. Your mind’s destroyed and it only seems to be getting worse.”_ **

**“What does that mean for Tya then? She also died and was reincarnated.”**

**_“Shouldn’t you be worrying about yourself?”_ **

**“She’s my friend, I mean she doesn’t know me in this life which sucks so I guess we’re not dating anymore, but…”** He paused, losing his train of thought. Ven shook his head then.  **“When I do lose my mind completely, can you watch over everyone else for me? There won’t be much for you to do if I’m in a padded room anyway.”**

**_“You know I can’t separate from you, our souls are bound together.”_ **

**“Then have Connie unbind us.”**

Ava opened her mouth to speak, only to be cut off.

“Haven’t seen you in a while, Ven.” He looked up to the cheery tone of Aqua. She gave him a small wave and hesitant smile. It was bittersweet, but he gave one of uncertainty back to his family looming over him.

He couldn’t help but cry at the sight of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update: Nevermind, I decided to make a new blog after all and feature this fic's version of Ven as well as a version of Ven for kh verses that focuses on Darkness inside him and its affects.


	13. Freedom at last.

He’d been around them for another 16 years, and yet now it truly felt like he was with them. Not hiding from them at all, though he supposed he still did hide. They didn’t know he was essentially immortal and lived much longer than them. Or that he knew he’d lose his mind. That was probably the hardest part actually. And why the tears kept streaming. 

Aqua tried to reassure him, but she wasn’t allowed to touch him so her lackluster words were all he received. He didn’t bother listening to them though. It would probably just be the same computer generated crap he was subjected to during his time in the hospital. 

Maybe he truly was tired of this place. But maybe he deserved to spend more time here.

_ Well I can’t even if I wanted to. There are people trapped in a snowglobe because foresight, despite me having it, isn’t my strong suit. _

“Do I get to come home yet?” Objective and comfort. He needed tears to sell the desperation to get out, but were they all that fake? He couldn’t get them to stop even if he wanted to. He truly was just glad to see his family again. Too bad they weren’t the ones he remembered. Right?

“Of course you can come home, Ven.” Aqua assured and Terra nodded with crossing arms to back her up.

Just as quick as he was to be remorseful, he swapped to being irritable once more. Hard not to be when his mind was plagued with the previous month’s events. “Surprising since you kept me here for a month.” The blond scoffed. “I’d be surprised if you even wanted me back, or no, you only want me back because it’s a pain in the ass to pay for my medical bills right?”

“That’s not true, Ventus, and you know it.” His dad interrupted. Oh how wonderful, the father that would clearly rather he was locked up. 

Moving up a bit in his chair, Ventus held a hand behind his back in the small space between him and where he sat, materializing a knife in it. His family kept droning on about how they loved him and shit like that. They didn’t love him though. They didn’t know the first thing about him. If they knew anything he did on his nightly escapades they’d disown him in a heartbeat. They already wanted to throw him away for the drugs after all. And they did, so he didn’t feel much remorse in abruptly standing and pulling the knife up to his dad’s throat. 

“Sorry,  _ dad _ , but frankly I don’t trust your bullshit.” He just about mocked. “You’re nothing but a liar for your own agenda. All of you are.” He glared at not just his hesitant and taken aback siblings, but those that now had eyes on the sudden threat. Perfect. Terror is how people should view him. 

Ventus’ eyes trailed back to his father just as Terra and Aqua’s had. Eraqus actually stood pretty firmly. He didn’t move a muscle. At least not until he squeezed his arms around Ventus in a tight hug. It brought the knife closer against him, nicking at his skin and tearing into it. 

Not expecting a loving and warm embrace, the blond panicked then, squeaked out “Stop!” He tried to pull back, but Eraqus pulled him closer. The knife only really sliced thinly at his neck thankfully, but it still frightened the boy quite a bit.

“It’s alright, Ventus.” Eraqus cooed, eyes closed as he held the panicked boy close. They stayed like that a moment, but the blond continued to squirm in hopes of freeing his father from the weapon. “You’re going to kill me if you keep moving around like that.” The man idly remarked with a peeking eye.

“Then don’t have a knife held up to your throat, or better yet, don’t hug the guy threatening you. At least disarm him first.” Ventus huffed with exasperation.

“Last time we disarmed you, you ended up here for a month.”

“I ended up here for a month because you ditched me and took me out of school, not because you disarmed me.”

“Well in that case.” He loosened the hug finally, plucking the knife from his hand with a bit of a cocky smile. “If you were going to be that distressed about leaving school, why didn’t you say anything?”

“I pointed a gun at you, I thought my demands were pretty clear.”

“It’s a little hard to think when there’s a gun being pointed at you, Ventus.”

The boy groaned and grumbled with defeat before looking to his father again, who’d received pretty quick attention in dressing his new wound from the nurses of the building. Impressive but unsurprising really. He got pretty immediate attention when he jumped and fell off his bed after all. Maybe they thought he was trying to die, but that year he wasn’t too suicidal, he was just bored and having fun. 

“Agree to let me stay in school and I won’t threaten you again.”

“What kinda agreement is that?” Terra chimed, bewildered. 

“It’s the agreement of a sociopath.” Ven chuckled. 

“You’re not a sociopath, Ven.” All three remarked, even the nurses gave knowing glances. It made him smile and feel that much lighter. 

He moved back from his father, just by a little bit and wiped at tears that welled in his eyes, sniffling. Ventus bowed his head, struggling to not smile. To say the least, he failed pretty badly. Small laughter fell from him even, erupting into something much more as he brought his head back. No one else joined in, but really when did he not laugh at random? Maybe he was a bit psychotic after all. 

Nevertheless, Ventus calmed after a moment, wiping stray tears with his long sleeves. He was easing, and therefore felt his memories fading. Not bad other than the fact that he had people trapped in a snowglobe at home.

**“Mom, I’m not gonna be able to free them when I get home. Can you get them out and explain things to them?”** The boy asked quickly, earning him a few odd but expectant glances. What, he couldn’t laugh to himself and then suddenly talk to himself in a seemingly made up language?

**_“Please use your foresight for once.”_ ** Avarisia sighed.

**“I do! Just when you tell me to watch out for what devious actions I’m going to pull apparently.”** The boy mused  **“Also what was the point in showing clueless me something I’m not going to even prevent?”**

**_“You might just grow acquainted with the victims and not kill them, Ventus, that’s the point.”_ **

He wanted to argue, but honestly maybe she had a point. He actually didn’t mind Strelitzia, despite trying to rape an image of her. Maybe he should apologize. No, that would sound crazy. And maybe a bit frightening. Best he kept that to himself then. Not like he’d remember it anyway. 

Speaking of remembering, he was having a bit of trouble managing. Last he was able to remember, he was talking to Isaac, Cole, and Phoebe. Wait, when did his family get here? And where did the other three go? He looked around a bit only for Aqua to bend over and end up face to face with him. 

“Ven!” That was loud. Why was she yelling? 

“Ow!” The blond squeaked, pulling hands up to cup over his ears. “God, Aqua, why are you yelling?!”

Blinking with confusion, she backed up and lowered her tone to a much softer and gentler one. “You weren’t listening. You were just talking and laughing to yourself.”

“I was not.” The boy huffed. “I was talking to my friends.” He motioned to the empty table. Great, time to look crazy again. His demeanor dropped and he sighed, rolling his eyes. Fine, so those guys weren’t real after all apparently. Big surprise.

Turning back to his family, he idly remarked “Well I’m going so crazy that I’m making up new friends so let’s leave already.” Everyone. Everyone gave him a look of concern and it was really upsetting. He just wanted to hide. Maybe have his headphones and blare music so he couldn’t hear anything. Because that won’t make him any more deaf. Maybe a concert would be fun. Get to feel the vibrations of the music beating at his own heart and actually hear something, if only thanks to his hearing aids but still! He missed out on halloween for this and he didn’t even know to decorate this year! He wanted a redo! A do over!

But wait, Christmas would be right around the corner. Actually, that wasn’t wrong. He was there a month after Halloween so it should be about December now. Christmas was coming! And he escaped the worst holiday!

_ I still ate too much here though, but not nearly as bad if I was home for Thanksgiving. _

Hate food all he wanted, Thanksgiving treats were a world of their own though. He really couldn’t help but gorge himself then, and he always hated himself for it. But it’s okay! Because he missed that holiday. A little sad that he wasn’t taken out even for something special like that, but he’d have to get out now if he wanted to enjoy Christmas.

He moved to speak, but oh wait, where’d his family go? He was so preoccupied with loving holidays, that he didn’t realize they’d slipped away. Assholes. He supposed he should get comfortable if he got ditched again. So much for holiday fun. That just made him think about how he’d made up new friends apparently. Agonizing.

A sigh escaped him at the thought, and just as he was about to move and sit back down to further mope, two hands grabbed from under his arms and lifted him up. A small yelp escaped him as he turned to see Terra behind him.

“Don’t get comfortable, we’re leaving.”

“You’re actually bringing me with?” He asked with absolute disbelief. His brother raised a brow at the reaction.

“Yes..? Were you just gone for the entire discussion or something?”

“It’s a little fuzzy admittedly.” 

“Well get your stuff, we’re leaving.” He was placed back down, but what stuff? He supposed he had his clothes and the journal they’d given him to write in. He didn’t do jackshit with it this time since most of the time he spent trying to committ suicide or staring at a wall. It was a really eventful stay to say the least. 

That left retrieving his items to be rather easy. Speaking of which, he didn’t change clothes that often either so the extras his family brought him were still packed the way they’d come. Easy peasy~

Grab those really quick, disregard the now emptied room he’d spent much too long in, and off he went to return to his family. They were so warm and loving, he adored them, but wait what happened to his dad’s neck that it required a bandaid?

Idly as they walked out, Ventus chimed “Did’ja cut yourself shaving or something dad?” He couldn’t help but chuckle at the neglect. He never knew his dad could be so clumsy. It was actually a little endearing to think he was finally sorta human and not some stressed working machine.

They all gave him an odd look though, effectively cutting off his jovial tone. “What?”

“You already don’t remember?” Aqua asked, taking both hands to cup his face as if looking for a fever. It was left a bit squished as he blurted out rather disappointedly

“What’d I forget now?”

Rather than state it outright, she merely shook her head and replied

“It’s nothing, Ven, let’s just go home alright.” 

What was that emotion? She didn’t seem too pleased. What was she though? She’d let him go by then and started off to leave with the rest of their family, but Ven tried to keep up, hopping up to try and get a gander at her expression. It was difficult given how much shorter than them all he was, but why’d they look so worried and concerned? Right, that’s what it was, but why?

“Why’d you guys suddenly die?” The blond asked as he continued to hop up and down for better sight at them. They gave what looked to be forced smiles and replied with

“We’re not dead, Ven, we’re just focusing on getting you home.”

“And you can’t do that while smiling normally? Shouldn’t it be nice to have me back?” Well that was just depressing. Might as well have never left apparently. Such left a sigh to escape him as he gave up, because that appeared to be the most he’d be getting from them, which made the car ride awkward, but he’d be happy once he got home with his pets and games and headphones. That’d be the life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that blog lasted a good month before I was yelled at for being triggered by something stupid as usual. Guess I'll have more time for this fic again.


	14. Interlude

It was all going so well. Everyone was nice, friendly, and helpful. They always were, though, weren’t they? So what happened? What brought him to walk along the tracks of a train on such a chilly night?

Thinking back as he shivered, Ven supposed it started then. When a misunderstanding occurred and when Jack came to his aid, only furthering the misunderstanding. People sure didn’t take kindly to threats, meaningful or not. He wished he could take them back, but what Jack said was, well, said and done. Nothing he could do to take it back. Nothing. Nothing. 

What else? That was the end of that career. He’d tried coming back to the community under a different name, different just about everything to hide his identity and be free of his mistake in allowing Jack any kind of freedom. It worked for a little, but the cracks started to show early on, resulting in another uproar. 

Terrifying. 

Terrifying. 

Terrifying. 

Mistakes weren’t meant to be made in this society. Be different in the wrong way, in any way, and be damned. That’s what he’d learned. He was different. People like him were deemed unworthy of life and condemned to an early death. That’s what all the onlookers pleaded and begged for. His true personality mattered little in comparison to his flawed mental state. That, he learned loud and clear with both attempts.

And yet, Ventus tried one more time. A new area completely. No one should know him or his past mistakes there. A brand new start. 

That’s what he thought and hoped for anyway. So he tried again. He had to have hope. Hope he’d find something worth looking for. 

And all seemed amazing at first. Beyond so. There were a few things he’d have to get used to, rules and the like, but he could abide by them, surely. He’d start over. Make friends that way. Not be alone anymore. Even the therapist he’d acquired left him feeling more alone than anything. She was nice, sure, but no conversations were truly had. Instead, she was definitely more after his money and wallet than his well-being. Even someone as naive as him could figure that much out.   
It was...distressing to say the least.

What next. What next.

Why did that go so poorly? Did he slip up again, let on to how broken he truly was? No, he only ever did that if something went awry. If he broke down. Everything caused it now. Every little thing. Maybe that’s why he found peace traversing in such a hazardous zone under freezing temperature that nipped at and numbed his rare yet exposed skin. Only the face and hands were dotted and dampened by thick snowflakes.

No, that’s right. They found him uninteresting and unimportant. It wasn’t new though was it? He’d have fun with these people only to find out later that they never truly cared for him, easily forgetting his existence a moment after they left him. It hurt. It stung. Beyond belief that they could mean so much to him yet he could mean so little to them. To everyone.

Right. That’s why he was here. 

Even when he cried and pleaded for help on the matter. Such a serious matter it was, that of suicide, he’d go ignored and abandoned. Perhaps it wasn’t the right thing to do now. Maybe he shouldn’t take everything they did to heart. Every rejection. Every scorning word. Everything. At this point, was the idea of “good” even a thing? Or was it all a guise? A guise to get people what they wanted. He wasn’t sure, but Jack’s voice rang loud and clear for him to hate mankind as well. It was, to say the least, hard to ignore.

Ventus didn’t want to hate the world though. That sounded like such a dismal experience and life. No. He’d much rather it all just stopped. He was a bad person anyway, albeit thanks to Jack’s and the rest’s influence, he never truly meant harm to anyone. Everyone pegged him for his inner demons though. There was no way around that. It was sad, but something he’d never be able to escape. They’d always see the cracks to his darkness even passed such bright smiles and words. 

It’s alright though. Everything was going to be fine. He’d be at peace soon. He could hear it coming too. The roar of the train racing fast behind his slow steps. No, he couldn’t hear it. He was told by his faithful companion. His soulbound mother. He’d miss her too, but she’d stay with him even in death wouldn’t she? 

That mattered not as the light shone in the distance and he merely smiled at it. Dulled eyes taking in what would be his final sight. 

Aqua, Terra, his dad. They all came to mind, but he couldn’t keep going if all he’d ever have were them. Call him selfish and gluttonous, but it just wasn’t enough. If he didn’t have more, there just didn’t seem to be a point. Let alone if people only took one look at him and deemed him unworthy of life or attention no matter how nice they were previously to him. It grated on his nerves, but ultimately it depressed him. 

This was fine. He’d be fine.

Ven stopped walking along the sides of the rails then, instead shifting to stand in the middle of the tracks, sight dead ahead at what came barreling at him. He was a little frightened, frightened for how painful it would be. Frightened of the unknown. He couldn’t take it anymore though. He didn’t want to be misunderstood and rejected anymore so this was fine.

Everything would be fine. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the past year I've been in the open and out of isolation, I've come to determine something. The world is desensitized. You could jump in front of a train and no one would truly bat an eye. They'd say they did to hide just how numb they are on the inside, but in reality, they truly couldn't care less. It's all an act. 
> 
> Throughout the year, I've been very open of my suicidal thoughts and struggles with it if only to be helped away from it, at this point the only bar keeping me from actively doing it is the fear of pain. This piece was something I thought up when I did have thoughts of stepping in front of a train. The date I wished to do it has yet to pass so there's still time to decide on going through I suppose but it's running thin. 
> 
> It makes me wonder, why is it so bad that people look for attention? You realize that if someone seeks attention, that means there's a underlying issue needing to be resolved right? Or are you all complacent to just see every plea for help as attention seeking and willing to turn a blind eye despite the implications and possible consequences. I know I've been ignored and ditched continuously for my depressed and suicidal state. I can easily tell you that it doesn't help in the slightest. Sure, my fear of pain keeps me afloat, but being disregarded as nothing more than an inconvenience, even by those I've thought to be friends, easily tips it over into the hazardous side. One day, you will be the death of someone, and you will be none the wiser, blissfully ignorant, but they will have ill feelings for you and themselves in their death. And again, you won't bat an eye. That's the society we live in now, and I utterly resent it.
> 
> As for this fic's story, I'll continue it if only for the people that have made themselves known to me. I won't do it for those that idly read it with no reaction because frankly silence makes me paranoid, silence pisses me off given how often I'm ignored, disregarded, and ghosted. That's not to say you must follow, favourite, kudos, or comment. I just won't be writing it for your sake because I blatantly don't care about you. I care for those brave enough to show themselves to me. I like things I can touch, and right now, most of you are intangible to me, which means I can shape you into whatever monstrous form my skewed mind thinks up. Now most of you will think that's my way of forcing you to give me praise and potentially turn it around and scold me instead. As I said, I couldn't care less for your opinion. At this point, any opinions or praise I'll note to be forced and pity so I'd much rather do without it, instead I'll write this for those that truly held interest on top of keeping this fic up so I have a place to archive my pieces as docs is a bit messy and I no longer have my tumblrs to idly post vent drabbles such as this one. So expect more interludes into both my mind and Ven's. This is a vent fic after all.
> 
> Something that really annoyed me regarding the cracks through the bright smiles and speech Ven remarked on is that my ex friend told me I wasn't healed enough, that's why despite my best efforts to be normal, people still saw I was broken and ditched. As if I can really just turn off my mental illness. Dipshit, it doesn't work like that. No matter what, your mental illness will show. You just have to learn to alright with it. You can suppress the symptoms sure and make them less visible, but something will show no matter what. You will never be normal, and neither will I.


	15. Relaxation

Everything was much more at ease when he got home. No more awkward silence or tension that he couldn’t quite figure out or place, (how could he when they wouldn’t talk to him?) That was okay though, because everything was fine again. They’d told him in the car that he’d get to go back to school which just made him feel dramatic for throwing a huge tantrum over it in the first place. Maybe that guard was right. He really overreacted. School was precious to him. It was a means of freedom from the confines of his home. As he said, precious.

School was out for now though, winter break and all. He’d heard about it, but never knew when it was. Wait, it was now wasn’t it?

Tugging on Terra’s sleeve now that the boy was sitting idly on the couch and watching cooking shows with Aqua and, wait why were they watching that? Were they trying to kill him? That was probably besides the point. Ventus garnered his attention though, causing Terra to hum passed the disgusting coffee he sipped at. Offensive. 

Nevertheless, he spoke, asking “Is it winter break right now?”

Immediately Terra smirked against his coffee cup. What was that reaction supposed to mean? What was he hiding?

“Ven, winter isn’t even officially here yet. It’s the first day of December. The entire month of December isn’t off for break you know.”

Ventus brightened at the information, hands clenched with utter joy and pumped close and a bit painfully against his chest. “So I get to go to school again tomorrow?!”

“Seems like it.” His brother mused calmly, once more taking in some of his coffee. The only way he could bear his younger brother was being awake after all. Rude, but god was he a handful sometimes. 

“Oh but wait, since we’re not doing anything today, wanna set up Christmas stuff with me?!” By the way the brown haired teen winced, Ven figured his volume was a bit high. He didn’t mind though. Being annoying was fun. Especially at his brother’s expense. 

“Shouldn’t we set things up over break when we’re free?” Aqua chimed, easily causing Ventus to deflate any enthusiasm he had. Dampened quite dramatically, the boy huffed with a head hung just as notably. 

“We’re not trying to blow you off, Ven. We need time to relax too.” Terra again. He was so gentle about it which was nice, but still upsetting that he had to wait for the holidays so long. 

“Ven, shouldn’t you be studying for your finals anyway? They’re coming up and it would be bad if you flunked them.”

“What’s the worst that can happen from flunking them?”

“You get held back and end up the only adult in highschool.” His brother teased. “That would be pretty sad don’t you think, so you should probably be studying and then after finals, we can set stuff up for Christmas.”

He wanted to whine about how far away that was, but he actually wasn’t sure, leading him to ask “When are finals?”

“Two to three weeks.” Terra again. Man, Aqua was really invested in the cooking channel apparently. She was even sitting up, hunched forward and swatted for Ven to move. What was she so intent on watching? 

Or well, he wanted to know, but that would be bad. He couldn’t afford to get hungry randomly and start eating everything again. Never again. So he focused on Terra instead after having moved in front of him and out of Aqua’s range. Oh look, she was taking notes. Now he was really curious since apparently they’d be having whatever was on tv soon.

“Ven, why did you ask a question just to ignore me?”

That snapped his thoughts back. He hadn’t looked away, but he blatantly spaced out. He supposed anyway if Terra’s snapping fingers in his face was anything to go off of. 

“I was listening.” He insisted. He wasn’t, but Terra didn’t need to know that.

“Oh yeah, then what’d I say?”

Oh boy, now that he couldn’t answer. “Uhhh” Ventus attempted and failed miserably. Instead of keeping on track however, he saw mama cat trot down the stairs. “Matir!” He beamed, attention fully off Terra and now instead on the cat. 

“Ven! You need to study!”

“Can’t, got a cat to love on!” The blond boy bolstered. He ran off, or rather rudely jumped between Terra and Aqua and bounded over the couch. Seeing him coming barreling at her, the cat darted back up the stairs, Ven hot on her trail and darting up on all fours like an animal. Reaching the top floor, Ventus lept after the feline. Of course he was careful to not injure her, but he pinned her down. It wasn’t long before he scooped her up from under himself and hugged her close, rubbing her fuzzy face against his own less than fuzzy one.

“Could you imagine if I had facial hair, Matir.” He practically gasped at the idea. “I’d be such a stud.” The cat appeared less than amused as it mrrred with displeasure. 

**_“I’ve seen one future for you and it’s not half bad. You’re a drunken junkie with no real friends, but you get your wish to be surrounded by people that ‘love’ you.”_ **

“How exactly is that only half bad? That sounds terrible.”

**_“And yet it’s still your wish to have quantity over quality. Maybe you should take that into consideration. You’re already doing it with your online community after all.”_ **

He was hesitant at first, muttering out soon a small “I guess…” It was pretty pathetic and disheartening to hear such a fate, but he could change that couldn’t he. “Wait, you said that was one future, what are the others ones? Do you know?”

There was silence for a moment as if the cat was contemplating telling him. Such an odd statement, but he didn’t mind. It was a little nerve-wracking to wait so long for an answer though.

**_“Sorry, I was freeing people from a snowglobe now that I was finally in range.”_ ** To that, Ven cocked his head and brought the cat forward to look on with bewilderment.  **_“You have two options currently. If you don’t control your temper, you’re going to get locked up in a psych ward or end up dead within a year. If you do succeed, you manage to go to college and fool everyone into loving you.”_ **

“That sounds really really dismal, not gonna lie.” Hugging the cat close to his chest once more, he stood to wander to his room. 

**_“You also only have four more years left overall no matter what you do, as when you reach twenty, your mind’s too broken for you to function correctly.”_ **

  
  


His heart just about stopped at the information, breath hitching as he clung perhaps a tad too tightly to the cat in his arms. She squeaked and clawed at him but he didn’t let go. Instead, tears stung at his eyes and he uttered out a pathetic “Please stop, I don’t wanna know anymore.” His voice was just above a whisper, leading for him unable to hear it himself. 

**_“Ventus, what I’m trying to tell you is that you don’t have much time. You need to stop fretting over everything and just live the life you have left. Enjoy yourself.”_ **

He wasn’t given a moment’s notice before him and his mother were interrupted. Ven would have loved to be able to properly take in and absorb the information he was given, but no one else seemed keen on allowing such a thing.

_ “That’s perfect, Ventus!” Avaritia beamed. “That means you can’t be held back anymore. You don’t have time to be nor anything to lose.”  _

And just like that, everyone swarmed him, all piping up with their ideas. Get laid, Steal something. Graffiti something or break something. Gorge himself. That one didn’t sound half bad as right now he’d love to eat away his sorrows. The rest were going to land him in jail. Would it even be that bad though? He’d lose his mind in four years anyway, or even wind up locked up somewhere else if he couldn’t control his temper. 

**_“Ventus!”_ ** The cat scolded. It was then that he realized just how tight he was holding the now struggling and yowling feline. With a gasp, he dropped momma cat to the ground, allowing her a quick sprint away from him and the room. 

Now he was alone. Alone with nothing but wretched hallucinations that imposed on his will. Maybe he should give in though. He didn’t have much time left anyway. Plus he wanted to live. Maybe he could be like Jack, live a double life. There was nothing for him in this life. 

Their voices kept chiming on and on about the things he should do. They were all so tempting for such a lost cause. Even then, there were still things he needed to do.

“Shut up!” The boy shouted rather abruptly. The sins did as demanded and ceased, all eyes on him. They were speechless as they stared vacantly at him. Was it absent though? He couldn’t tell with their masks on. One of the many times he’d love nothing more than to rip them off and see their true selves. Ven couldn’t touch them though. If he had the ability to, maybe he’d actually have a girlfriend even if he couldn’t see what she truly looked like.

Oh but wait, he did have a girlfriend. One he neglected quite a bit recently. Maybe he should give her a call to tell her he was alright. Ah but wait, he never received his phone back. And fuck, he’d been gone a month. His poor channel. 

A bit dramatically, Ventus ran both hands down his face, dragging his eyelids down if only for them to spring back up upon release. Matir said to live. Live for as long as he had left. Don’t end up in jail or an institution. Maybe this was what he needed to hear to stop taking everything for granted. Right, and then at school he’d fix things there and live happily until he was twenty. He’d fix that too. 

Instead of being a drunken junkie, he’d be himself. Just adore life. Be good to people. Make their lives better with the rest of his. That was his ultimate goal. 

_ Well actually I guess I’m addicted to valium already. _

He’d gone about a month without it though so this was a good step in the right direction. What else, what else? He supposed he could get back to his channel and do a video apologizing for his absence. Was that necessary though? That might come off as attention seeking and he didn’t want to be called out for that. He’d already been dismissed on his depression before after all so he opted to hide it from then on. 

Maybe the channel could wait until he was in better spirits. Sure he didn’t use video feed, but they might be able to hear the strain of his voice if he tried to make a video now. He sure as hell wouldn’t be doing a face reveal either. He’d love to, immensely. To be loved by all those people? Amazing. But Terra forbade him from showing his face to the masses, for some reason. Probably for his own peace of mind. Damn that Terra.

Maybe he should just go to bed and wait for tomorrow. He was too antsy to speak to anyone at the moment. He just wanted to fix things already but argh it was only five. He’d be an old man if he went to bed now. Actually, all he had to do was take his pills and knock himself out for about twelve hours. It would still be a bit early, but he could live with that. He should apologize to Matir for squishing her before that though.

Off and out the room he went to scurry and scour the sizeable home. It didn’t take him long either. Despite being squashed, she sure didn’t go far. Instead, she was left pawing and mewing at their father’s bedroom door. Funny, usually it was open. Maybe he closed it by accident. 

“I’ll let you in. It’s the least I can do anyway.” Just as he tried however, Ven failed. The door was locked. Odd for sure. He couldn’t have been home could he? Not that Ven would be able to hear even if he pressed his ear to the door. Should he pick the lock? Oh but what if his dad was having sex with someone. That would be new. Now he had to ask though.

He scooped up the little cat, much more gently this time around and caressed her black and white fur. Cradling her, the blond brought her down the hall and back down the steps to where his siblings continued watching tv. Getting a glance at it from this angle, it was so appetizing. He pulled Matir up to cover his mouth though, as if that would stop him from eating. Even then, Ventus did grind his teeth a bit. 

He had more important things to deal with. Well not really, but they were better than eating. He really did have to work out all the excess food he ate in confinement so maybe he should skip dinner after all. 

Still, the matter that he came down for. Ven walked up and behind the couch where the two sat. They both acknowledged him with a smile though kept watching their program. Or Aqua did anyway. Terra clearly didn’t trust him with a cat in hand. Not surprising, he’d tossed a flailing animal at Terra on numerous occasions. That wasn’t the plan today though. No, he actually had a goal right now.

“Why’s dad’s room locked?” He asked as cluelessly as possible. It wasn’t even on purpose either. He genuinely was just in the dark on something that to him was beyond odd.

“You really have to ask?” His brother remarked. What? Was it that obvious? Nevertheless, Ven nodded his head. The brunette looked a bit stern then, and when he carried on, it made sense. Unfortunate as it may be. “He didn’t want you stealing valium anymore.”

Even if it was his fault and he completely deserved it, Ven pouted. “I’ll just learn how to pick the lock so Matir can sleep on his bed. She wants in.” Not to mention he never needed to rely that much on his father’s stash. It would be too obvious if he stole too many of those anyway. 

“You’ll just get in trouble. Just let her sleep in your room like usual.”

“No, she wants his room.” He insisted more firmly, holding the cat out to Terra as if her dangling and uncomfortable form would somehow change his mind. Being so close to him suddenly, Terra’s face scrunched up. He looked mad, but he didn’t show it any further than that.

_ So that’s how they felt. _

Ven pulled Matir back to him, cradling her close and holding her less like a rag doll and more like a baby. To say the least, she wasn’t pleased. She mrred more, but other than that, she didn’t struggle. She laid against him, purring at his chest. Ven felt the rumbling in his body and held her closer, head bowing to burrow against her soft fluff. He sniffled as tears stung at his eyes but he wiped them off on Matir’s fur. A little rude, sure, but he didn’t want to show it to his siblings.

“Ven.” Terra spoke up again. It was with concern. That wasn’t good. That meant he was too obvious. He’d have to recover and hide it. Recover how though? He’d been so sad for so long, and he easily slipped back into it. Everything felt like daggers. How was he supposed to do anything like this? 

The tears kept coming too, and soon they turned to sobs. His poor cat. He definitely couldn’t hide that very well, and he couldn’t stop either. It all just felt so hopeless. He’d be gone in four years. His family didn’t trust him. His friends at school didn’t trust him. What was he supposed to do? 

All he had to do was fix things, but how? Were they even able to be fixed? Or were they irreparable? What was he supposed to do? 

His mind racked itself for an answer. Before any could come up, he felt himself leave the floor. Ven brought his tear stained and snotty face from the cat and looked up to see Terra above him. Oh, he’d picked him up, like a bride to spare Matir. 

“C’mon, let’s watch tv instead of wallowing again.” 

Ventus still sniffled and cried lightly, but he ceased sobbing at least. Terra brought him around the couch to plop him between his own seat and Aqua’s. Said sister pulled her blue blanket over him to share, something even Terra partook in. It was a tight fit with such a massive form as their older brother’s, but they all managed after squeezing in together. Matir was still curled in Ventus’ arms, but he felt more at ease with this situation. 

“Wanna watch a Disney movie, Ven? We can spare you the food network. I got the gist of what I need to do already, and I can pull up the recipe on my phone to make it later.”

Her voice was so soft, he couldn’t help but nod. Something nice to watch might help cheer him up. And with his siblings at that. 

With their family accounts, they pulled up the streaming service Ven couldn’t do without. Which one could he really? He insisted on having them all with how often he watched tv. They picked one out, a favourite, and curled together. They’d make him snacks now, but that would be a gamble so they wouldn’t push their luck at the moment. A movie together would be fine for the time being. And they could all have a meal together when their father returned home for the night. A small bit of relaxation was all they needed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suppose I do have a love/hate relationship with random people. I guess I should apologize for that, though I won't say I trust people. I've had a whole year to learn that people weren't meant to be trusted. So while I do apologize for the outburst (don't have tumblr anymore so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that it surfaced elsewhere), I struggle to apologize for being wary of the masses. I've gotten my hopes up constantly only to have them shoved in my face just the same. Not only that, but I've also been technically taught that triggers don't matter. Triggers are just an inconvenience to others. Here I always thought you were supposed to be respectful of others' triggers. That's clearly not the case that I've witnessed as I got continuously mocked and scolded for mine even on therapy sites, as if I asked for them to be triggers. They're so inconvenient to me too, but it's too much for other people and even if I'm civil with them, they just have to make it known they don't respect them or me even if I give alternatives. People won't speak kindness, but they're quick to lash out at someone. That's why I won't be turning comments back on. I'm sure plenty are already mad for the previous chapters. I don't actually imagine anyone will even read this far anymore.
> 
> Even by my therapist, I've been told to cease contact with people since others simply stress me out to the point of overwhelming paranoia and fear, which then leads to lashing out like the last two chapters (though I deleted the author's note chapter.) So technically I shouldn't even be posting chapters anymore. Isolation seems so upsetting though. I've always feared going back to it, but it's clear that I don't fit in with this society. My mind's too broken. Unfit. This fic is the last thing I have in connecting me to the outside world.


	16. Interlude 2

He couldn’t get to them. He could siphon their accounts and bankrupt them, sure, but that wasn’t enough. They were so rude. So cruel. Ignoring the fact that he was in fact also human. Could he expect anything less though? The moment anyone got online, their status as human dissolved. His own and anyone else’s. That meant people could say and do whatever they wanted online with no consequences. They could simply block the person and be through with them. 

_ Mission accomplished right. You were a royal ass and now you get to feel your power trip of walking all over someone before childishly blocking them from having a word of their own. _

That was just the world they lived in, and Ven hated it. He was always the one getting trampled. He was too different. Too weak. Jack said to take revenge on those that wronged him, even if just this small. No, because it was this small and they excused it as nothing. It hurt tremendously to be ignored and yelled at for things he couldn’t comprehend. To be disregarded in his pleas for them to stop. That he meant no harm, that he meant to shield them from harm. But no, they only heard harm and demonized him for that. 

Thanks to previous years, when Jack first showed up, Ventus wasn’t the wiser. He didn’t know he was sick. Why would he ever think that? But thanks to such a lack of knowledge, a sudden commanding voice in his mind, one he couldn’t distinguish from his own thoughts, he was led against his friends. Luckily it was only online as that was the only type of relationships he’s ever had, but that voice easily turned Ventus on his friends. It was mere cyberbullying thanks to the young age, but it was enough against weaker targets like his girlfriend of the time. She cut herself up. 

It bothered him a little but did it really? He was conflicted. He should care, but he couldn’t be bothered to. He just wanted her attention, to be liked, but no matter what he did, it never worked out. He was always second fiddle to someone else even when dating her. It was frustrating. Maybe he did care after all because when she left to harm herself, he panicked. Reached out to the friend group she’d adopted him into for help and sent them their conversation. He just wanted her attention for once so he was terrified to be scolded. He really didn’t understand what he did, but everyone was mad. They all scorned him before ridding themselves of him. 

Thinking back on it now that he was older and able to mature a bit, he knew he was in the wrong. He still couldn’t bring himself to care about his previous actions, no, he was indifferent to them. She hurt herself, but he only cared that she took her eyes off him. It was selfish, he knew, but it’s how he thought. He only ever cared about himself. He adored attention. Maybe it was because he was always alone. Always second behind his twin. Always in their shadow. Always in someone’s shadow. He didn’t have a life of his own. Other people made his life for him, but without people, then there was nothing.

Even if they hated him, he didn’t mind them. They gave him a pretty hazardous trigger for Jack that day though. Being blocked and yelled at. It was hard to avoid but he did his best to be sweet to people even if truly it was exhausting. Most people, he found, didn’t deserve such kindness. Still, he refused to judge them. He never knew a person’s story after all. One shouldn’t judge others so easily, so he stayed kind to everyone and interested if only to garner their attention for himself. A bit selfish, but he allowed the conversation to be on them instead. That left him somewhat frustrated however as he never got to talk about himself or his ideas, only ever them and whenever he tried, they’d ignore him completely. No wonder that isolated feeling never left. No one truly cared for him. Just like him, they only cared for themselves. Maybe that was karma, but why was he being punished for the broken way he was made?

He could survive that frustration. What he couldn’t survive was Jack coming back to the front of his mind. It happened once before. A misunderstanding that even if bittersweet, was resolved. He still resented them for how they treated him, but they’d apologized so he tried to get past it. It ache every so often, gnawing at his mind and provoking Jack to make a move. He did, and Ven regretted it. Even apologized, half-assedly given a near lunatic state, but he tried. He tried to prevent it, but failed to in time and ended up punished again for it.

Jack really did rule his life. He’d thought to off himself on countless occasions. He was evil after all. Everyone viewed him as such. Even if it was only half true. He was so exhausted, but he tried again under a new name.

It went alright for about a month, but someone triggered Jack suddenly, sending him into a panic. As such, Ventus pleaded for people not to block him, and how bad it was to be forced into that mindset. He was scolded for it instead. Scolded and told not to be online if he was that ill, the only place he could socialize. It was...disheartening. What was worse were the torrents of people disregarding his pleas to just leave without blocking, instead of instantly blocking him. It didn’t work. 

There was so much panic to try and keep Jack at bay, but oddly enough, there wasn’t the usual feeling of losing his consciousness. There wasn’t the feeling of tar boiling his subconscious. No, there was none of that, because Jack never left since the first time. He was already here. And thanks to the first time around, Ven opted to give in completely. Allow Jack whatever he wanted. That was again just pitiful cyberbullying, something that he regretted heavily, but only because it made him look bad. Nothing happened to anyone. Hell, he doubted he’d care if anything actually did.

He pleaded with them not to turn him into a monster, but they didn’t care and readily did it anyway because they wouldn’t have to deal with it as long as he was gone. He still found a way to be a nuisance of course, but he wasn’t by any means proud of it. He still heavily resented them all, if only because he’d grown to like them prior. He couldn’t help but wonder why. If he asked and gave an alternative, why did they feel the need to yell at him for panicking and shove it in his face? 

Nevertheless, he gave up on humanity. Maybe he was wrong, but everyone on good terms with him told him he was right so what did that mean? It was jarring. If only there was a definitive side. There never was though. There was always just black and white. A war between two opposing sides. One he didn’t wish for as all he wanted were friends to keep him company and safe from his isolation. It was maddening. 

By this point, he found that nothing could save him from his isolation. Perhaps he was destined to be locked up eventually for such an impaired mental state. Maybe this was practice. A warm up for the inevitable. 

It was depressing. Maddening. Upsetting. He wished he would die and be free from everything. 

He didn’t mean it. He didn’t mean for any of it. If only it would all just go away. 

He wanted them dead. All the people that scorned him. All the people that lied to him. All the people that came up with smiles only to decide he wasn't worth it for one reason or another. He wanted them dead. 

Jack was right. Humanity was rotten. Everything was wrong. It all deserved to be destroyed. That was okay though. He'd destroy everything. Especially the friends that insisted they wouldn't leave him only to do so anyway. He'd destroy them and then himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The interlude's don't have anything to do with the main story. They're just vent drabbles. The only reason I'm posting them is in case someone can relate and they feel at ease for that reason. 
> 
> Nevertheless, I started the next actual chapter. It's not too far in, but it's started at least. I'll try to work on it today and tomorrow if needed and hopefully get it up by tomorrow.
> 
> I also enabled comments again. As much as I find humanity to be a lost cause and am terrified of everyone, it's hypocritical of me to silence people. I hope you don't make me regret it though. 
> 
> Also this chapter is supposed to be jarring. It's not supposed to flow. It's supposed to feel back and forth. Because that's how my mind works.


	17. New family

Rage filled his mind and body as he looked to Roxas. Ven picked up the freshly materialized sledgehammer, pointing it at the other as he heard himself say “You really should have stayed loyal, Roxas.”

Said boy didn’t have a comeback, he was merely looking for a way out of the school’s bathroom. Much to his dismay however, Ventus blocked the only exit. He’d locked it too of course. Wouldn’t want anyone to interrupt them. 

He brought the hammer back down to his side. Roxas wasn’t moving. He wasn’t speaking. It was irritating. They were supposed to be friends. And yet, he sold him out and abandoned him. Just like that. It hurt. Immensely. What he was doing might’ve been wrong, and maybe he deserved to get sold out, to be stopped, but to be abandoned too? He wouldn’t forgive that. Not after he was sworn loyalty from the boy. 

“I’m surprised. I actually don’t have a song to sing for you. Maybe I’m just too distressed.” Distressed? Correct. Tears did sting at his eyes. Why should he ever be surprised though. Humans were pathetic. They were fickle. No one should ever trust them. That’s where he went wrong. But this was perfect. Now he wouldn’t have to be nerfed by idiotic relationships. His closest friend sold him out. 

He had to pay. Ven didn’t want him to, he’d much rather go back to being friends, but the way Roxas glared at him, he could tell that was a pipe dream. No matter, he’d be finished with this quickly. 

Much faster than anyone should move, Ventus closed the distance between himself and his old friend. Roxas flinched back, but the blond already brought the sledgehammer up and over his head. Without a moment’s notice, he lowered down on Roxas’ head. The boy dodged, though just barely. Lucky him. That just brought about a retry. Ventus grunted as he swung again and again, throwing all his weight into each attack. It spun him around a bit, but the moment Roxas gained the upper hand to escape, Ventus put to use some of his other abilities. Namely his title as a wind god by stealing what air Roxas held in his lungs. He could have easily created a clone from illusions to prevent an escape, but that was risky. Besides, he was mad. Angrier than he’d ever been in a while. So choking him felt right.

Doing it with his abilities wasn’t enough though. No, so instead as his old friend crumpled to the ground. The god of wind allowed air back into the struggling child’s lungs. He was still down and recovering, but that was perfect. A perfect target for heavy weaponry like his. 

Pulling the sledgehammer back up, Ventus brought it down hard on Roxas’ leg. The boy screamed and screamed as the sickening crack broke through the air. He’d feel bad if they were still friends, but Roxas tossed that away, and he didn’t need enemies. He’d vanquish them all. 

The child was left whimpering and screaming at the top of his lungs. How pathetic. If not for the illusions, he’d be garnering quite the crowd. Somehow, his screams filled Ventus with joy. He really was pathetic now. He shouldn’t have been a bad friend though. 

Ventus brought the hammer up and down once more, this time on the hand he tried to use to crawl away with. Roxas screamed again. So precious. 

“That’s one broken leg and one broken hand. Let’s go for more.” The boy laughed. He prepared himself for another swing, this time against his other leg, and one more against the other hand. By then, Roxas was a mangled mess of broken limbs. 

His breathing was quick and harsh as his body tried to comprehend all the damage. Fight back against it to no avail. It really was sad. He wished he could reach out and tend to the wounds he’d just created. Be friends again. Of course not though, this was the route Roxas decided to take in turning his back on him. He really couldn’t stand losing friends, especially being betrayed by them. So one final swing.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” 

Ventus woke up with a start, gasping for breath as sweat coated his form. Probably didn’t help that he was always covered head to toe in baggy and hot layers. Where was he now though. A quick look showed him the dark image of his room. Did he fall asleep during the movie then? He supposed Terra or his dad could have carried him to his room. Or Aqua even. They were all pretty strong after all. His dad was buff for a doctor. It was kinda funny to think about. Just think that if his dad flexed, his clothes would burst off like in an anime. Ven was awed at the thought that continuously crossed his mind.

**_“Shouldn’t you be heeding the warning of your dreams instead of wasting your time thinking about your dad being shirtless.”_ **

Matir was here? That’s not surprising honestly. When wasn’t she really. He couldn’t find her, but it was dark and she was a black cat so. 

“It’s always the right time to think about my dad being shirtless. For one thing, we’re not blood related. And another, he’s a jacked doctor. And finally, have you seen him? He looks like he could be on Spanish soap operas.” 

**_“Why couldn’t I be tied to Vanitas…”_ **

“Ooh, who’s Vanitas? A lover of yours?”

**_“No, he’s the sickly looking kid in school that constantly looks like he wants to trip you.”_ **

“There’s a leper that wants to trip me at school?”

**_“I never once said leper. Where did you get that from?”_ **

“You said he was sickly.”

**_“That could mean a lot of things, Ventus.”_ **

“You mean like corona virus?”

**_“Now you’re just making things up. Corona is a type of beer.”_ **

“Sounds like a virus to me.”

**_“And yet you’re a drunk when you get to college.”_ **

“I sound so rad.”

**_“Your dream, Ventus!”_ **

“You mean about me killing Roxas? What about it? Obviously it’s just a nightmare. I’d never hurt Roxas and he’d never hurt me. We’re the best of friends and I still owe him lunch sometime so if you excuse me, I’m going back to sleep so I can wake up for school and do just that.” On top of other things because he had to reconcile apparently being a drug addict. It wasn’t necessarily wrong since he dabbled in valium, but they really got the wrong idea. He’ll wake up and set them straight though. That was the plan. So back to sleep whether his cat liked it or not.

The next thing he found himself opening his eyes to was Goofy licking and slobbering all over his face several hours later. Ventus grimaced and swatted at him bleakly and tiredly. He pushed the dog’s muzzle back a bit, but there was a counter attack which even Pluto joined in on. They double teamed him, something he laughed jovially over. 

Ventus pushed at them to stop, but they were relentless in pinning him down and showering him with disgusting loves. He adored every minute of it. He couldn’t stay in bed with his dogs forever though. He had school after all. Something he really really needed to get back to. 

“Guys, please!” He cried out. Maybe they were as deaf as him. Oh look, it was Matir. Pretty kitty. Precious kitty. If he could, he’d reach out to her, but both dogs effectively laid down on his arms and torso. They sure did pin him down didn’t they. Now if only it was Ava. That would be amazing. 

Even with all of his attempts, Ventus opted to simply forfeit and lounge in defeat. What’s another skipped day anyway? He clearly wasn’t needed at school by this point. Maybe his friends missed him though. He’d definitely have to check his phone for messages. That got him to power through the hold his pets had on him and push himself up. Finally, they moved too. 

And he was allowed out of bed. A shame since Matir just showed up to love on him. Maybe he’d just bring her with in case things went badly. Not that they would. People were supposed to work things out right. Maybe not online where they could easily just block him the moment that he seemed a bit odd, he hated that. It ruined so many friendships in the blink of an eye. He just about gave up on online relations for that reason. But people weren’t like that in person right? They couldn’t be could they? They couldn’t block him or prevent him from trying to talk to them so he had the chance to fix things unlike online. 

People really were cruel online. They just had to catch a whiff of the fact that he was mentally unwell and they ditched. The ones that said they’d stay never did either, they always left the moment symptoms arose. 

_ So much for sticking with me through everything. _

It left a bitter taste in his mouth, but he tried to get past it. He had other things to worry about after all. Things to fix and friends to make. He only went to school maybe twice so far so there was plenty more people to meet and befriend. Like that Vanitas kid apparently. The sickly boy that wanted to trip him for some reason. Maybe he had a crush on him. Maybe that’s why. That was adorable. Painful, but adorable.

Ven was quick to change, just as quick as he was to trip and fall on his face. To be fair, he’d been hopping while trying to put new pants on. How was he supposed to know he’d succumb to whatever the fuck was on the floor? Looking at it, why the ever loving fuck was there a rubix cube on the floor. He never openly played with those. Maybe in secret because they’re easy, but he didn’t need people knowing that. Oh, but it was such a mess. The mismatched colours just reminded him of his brain. Out of sorts and dysfunctional. Maybe that was why he decided to quickly solve it and toss it aside. No one bore witness so should be fine right.

Wrong. Someone stood in the doorway. A wide, bright blue eyed, tannish skinned child of maybe four or five with short black hair. There was a nervous yet grand smile on his face. Was...was this real? Who was this boy? Why was he in his house let alone outside his room. His mouth was open, but he didn’t appear to be saying anything, not that Ven would be able to hear quite yet. Oh, maybe he was another new hallucination like the kids from the hospital. Speaking of which, there was one now. The youngest one that shouldn’t have even been in the hospital. It all made sense now. Especially after the two kids interacted. That settled it, they were hallucinations. 

No harm there then so he went back to changing. Afterwards he moved back to his bed to climb over and reach for both his phone and hearing aid, placing it in, Ventus looked through his messages. Odd, only Futaba pestered him. No one else did. Well aside from Emerald and Mercury wondering where he was. That was sweet of them. They wanted to meet up too. They went to his school right? He should hit them up when he got there. Actually, he should send them a quick text each, telling them to meet with him. Maybe with friends, this would be less nerve-wracking. 

Message sent. He was so proud. Then he had to talk to Futaba. She probably knew, or maybe she thought he finally kicked the bucket. Looking through his messages...yep she thought he died. So nonchalant and casual about asking him too. Ven sent a text to prove his current existence. 

Anyway, back to getting ready. That meant breakfast, but maybe he could skip out on eating for the day. He’d skipped out on a few meals, though he knew he had to eat with his pills so could he really get away with it? He could potentially not take his meds and be more awake. That would be nice. Too bad Aqua always handed them to him during each meal. 

_ Can’t do anything in this house. _

While he might say that, he was able to get away with quite a bit in said house. He’d pout all he wanted though. 

Childishly pouting aside, he still had to go to school and fix everything, and be friends with everyone. So stoked for that. He could barely contain it. Such a resolve brought him barreling down the stairs. Those kids were downstairs as well, one of them, Isaac, was drawing in a notebook at the kitchen table. 

_ So animated. _

Not to say his other hallucinations weren’t. Though they typically just stood around or sat around so maybe this was more than he was used to after all. But hang on--

“What are you drawing, Isaac?” Aqua asked. She seemed doting on the young boy dressed in, was he still wearing the same sundress? How? How was he not a hallucination? He couldn’t be if Aqua was interacting with him? Then wait, what about Phoebe and Cole? What happened to them. And why was Isaac and an unnamed possible hallucination child at his house. 

Actually, that brought his attention to said hallucination boy. He was sitting at the table, eating pancakes. Somehow, for a young child, he wasn’t getting syrup everywhere. 

Nevertheless, perhaps a bit invasive, Ven reached a finger out and poked the small, tanned boy in the cheek. The boy smiled brightly back at him, not before swallowing of course. Thank god. Not even Ven knew to do that much though. 

“Ven!” The child beamed. It was so heartwarming. He could just hug him and squish him. He looked squishable. But he was eating pancakes and Ven would be hard pressed to go to school covered in batter and syrup. Maybe another time, but now, no. He had things to do right now. And those things included getting to know these children.

“So I know Isaac because he was in the hospital with me, but who is this” he pointed to the small black haired child eating pancakes “and why are they enjoying breakfast before me?”

“Oh right, you fell asleep during the movie.” Terra. Was he reading the newspaper again? Ven could only assume he did it for the comics and sports. He doubted Terra could figure out what the other words meant. He was a little stupid sometimes. Definitely a meathead. And yet still no cheerleaders. Guess he was too nice and genuine for that. Everyone knew how people hated those types. For some reason. People would rather be around the types that were actually nefarious yet hid it well. He supposed he couldn’t blame them since they did blend in so well. It was disheartening though. 

_ This really isn’t the time to get distressed about previous follies. _

“Dad brought them both home last night. Said Phil here,” pointing the black haired one, “was adopted by us so he’s our new brother.” There was a quick glare towards Ven “Be nice.”

That was beyond exciting. A new brother and school. Aww but wait, that meant he wasn’t the youngest anymore. Now he was the goddamn middle child. The worst position by far.

Dampened in mood, Ven huffed “That’s fine and dandy, but what about Isaac? I thought he was a figment of my imagination, but clearly not if you guys are interacting with him.”

“He and two others appeared before dad at work. The older two knew their home addresses so dad dropped them off. Isaac here, doesn’t know his address though so he’s stuck here while dad figures it out.”

“Oh, he’s a runaway so I doubt he’ll give it up. Something about religion or something.” That barely helped but it was the most he got. He was bad at listening to people, especially when three introduced themselves to him at once. But appeared at his dad’s work? How’d that happen? How’d they get out of the hospital in the first place. And without their parents? So many questions.

“Ven.” Terra again, why’d he look so disgruntled? Was that what that look meant? He wasn’t sure. He couldn’t read people very well. Everyone came off as threatening and hostile to him. It was tragic and terrifying to say the least. Always made him want to cower in his room or the bathroom. Maybe slit his wrists or drown in the tub to end this nightmare he called life.

_ That got dark fast. _

Anyway, he shook himself from the distressing and distracting thoughts. “What?” Just as clueless as ever.

“You gonna eat breakfast so we can go to school? You still have to take your meds so as usual, you’re not weaseling your way out of it.”

“Is there really a point in me taking my meds, they don’t seem to work well enough. I still hallucinate, and I’m still paranoid at times.”

Terra bowed his head with a sigh, bacon dangling from his hand as his elbow was rudely placed on the kitchen table. Rather than be allowed to speak himself, Aqua went ahead for him, much kinder than he ever could. Not to say Terra often felt at ends with his brother, but the same thing over and over certainly exhausted him. Exhausted them all, but Ventus never seemed to learn anything. “We go through this all the time, Ven. You might still have symptoms, but they’re significantly lessened with your medicine.” She offered a soft smile. “I know they make you tired, but isn’t it better to be tired and able to leave your room?”

He really couldn’t argue with that one. Plus he’d gotten pretty used to running fatigued. Certainly dampened his senses, and if he was too low on activity, he’d fall asleep, such as at school like he’d done, was it the only times he ever went. God, he really had to pick up the pace. 

Tight lipped and scowling, the blond boy groaned as he fought himself on the matter. His arms were crossed and foot tapped impatiently. “I’ll take the pills but no food.”

“They only work if you eat with them.”

“Now you’re sounding like Ava.” And Matir for that matter. Then again Matir had a lot of snark and condescension to her tone. And somehow it was still loving. That cat sure was a mystery to him. 

Nevertheless, he grumbled a couple moments more before sighing with quite a bit of exasperation. His foot tapped more furiously too, as well as a finger tapping at his arms. All stopped when he gave in however. 

It was in defeat that he sat down to eat with the rest of the family, though he didn’t actually mind the atmosphere. It was so jovial and filled with utter joy. It felt pretty amazing actually. So much so that he felt a bit of ease in eating. Probably helped that his grandpa didn’t happen to be around to criticise him for eating more than necessary, though to that man, anything was more than necessary to someone like Ven. Thanks to his illnesses, he was seen as less than human by that man, and he didn’t hide it in the slightest. An ill reminder, but he tried to focus on the now instead. And that meant eating with a family that wouldn’t criticize him. 

Just as he was idly digging in, Terra spoke. “Ven, what’d you mean Isaac was a run away and at your hospital?”

Ven just sighed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the only oc's in this fic are Maria the nurse and Tya and Aspen who happen to be my fiancee's characters. Everyone else is a canon character from something or other. Certainly a lot of easter eggs. You'd never guess Alex because in canon he's in his late 20's but for this I use my teen version of him. I know Rwby, Promised Neverland, Marble Hornets, Greedfall, Binding of Isaac, Saiki K, and Deathmark are used (the last two not yet but they were supposed to appear in the chapter Relaxation. Ven was originally supposed to go to the bakery that Tya, Kusuo, and Masamune worked at but he ended up being too depressed to leave the house so whether those characters come in or not is up in the air. I'd love for Kusuo to meet Jack though. He wouldn't be able to read his mind because he wouldn't understand the dead language he thinks in so that'd be interesting.) Oh and Toritsuka's reaction to seeing Matir and both Matir and Ven's actual forms would be interesting/their nadaig forms.)
> 
> P.S. The notebook Isaac is drawing in is actually a functional Deathnote. Jack created it on a whim and tested it out on Mercury. It worked so he created a Lifenote as well to fix his mistake then hid them away on Ven's bookshelf. Ven has no clue he has them let alone that they're real.
> 
> Also I know this was supposed to be up a few days ago, I've ridiculously depressed lately though so doing things has been difficult. It's not fun learning that someone that told you they'd always be there for you suddenly blocked you without a word then acted incredibly offended when asked about it so that's been gnawing at my mind since the last chapter and blatantly the start of this one. Guess who their muse happened to be. 
> 
> At this point all of kh is ruined for me. Everything about it is so painful to acknowledge because of all the heartache I've dealt with being in this fandom it's almost like the persona fandom for me and that took me years to be able to acknowledge again. I still really like the wayfinder trio though so expect them to be the only people that are treated well. That and Eraqus. Unfortunately, the only character I care to really play right now is Ventus so I guess I'm stuck with this bittersweetness.


	18. Interlude 3

“Why don’t you go to hell, Terra!” Ventus snapped, venom practically dripping from his tone for disdain of his elder brother. Terra didn’t take too kindly to the threat, instead he pulled the car into a nearby gas station and parked it, unlocking the doors.

“Get out.” The elder commanded. Ven didn’t even hesitate in getting out of the car. Anything to get away from his brother. Stepping from the car and having slammed the door shut, Terra drove off. Lucky for the blond, home wasn’t far. Just a block or two away. At least it wasn’t cold either. Nice June, summer air and breeze of Chicago to cool the skin of his face. 

He supposed he should start walking though. Better than getting kidnapped. It was the outskirts of Chicago after all, not the best of neighborhoods. Always someone shooting a gun, kidnapping others, or raping people in cemeteries. None of that sounded appealing, so while he was too angered to make haste for his destination, Ventus strolled along the road. Fuck sidewalks, they didn’t exist in his neighborhood anyway; the road it was, like the rebellious boy he was.

The walk home was peaceful, he just about forgot why he was mad at Terra even. It was probably something idiotic and silly, maybe he should apologize and make up when he got home. Terra’s car was there so he beamed at the chance to make it up to him and play something along his side.

Stepping into the house, he was met with the sight of Aqua sitting on the couch reading a book and his mother passing by to frantically grab her keys and head out. Terra though, he wasn’t to be seen. Did he not come home, or was he pouting in his room?

“Is Terra home?” Ven asked his fleeing mother.

“No, he went to the park to cool off. I’m on my way to get him.”

He opened his mouth to silently spell out ‘ah.’ He didn’t get to actually say much before she left to retrieve their brother. He supposed it made sense. It was the dead of night and in a bad neighborhood where someone did get raped recently, it was best to save him. He kinda wanted to go with, but she was already leaving so Ventus opted to hop over onto the couch and put on a movie. One of his favourites too. Horror and about video games. What could go wrong there?

“Ven, I was trying to read.” Aqua whined just a bit, book pulling down from her eyes to see him and potentially glare at him? No, she’d never glare at him. She was too nice a person. 

“But I want to watch a movie.” That was a whine. He couldn’t hide from his childish ways. “Can’t you read in your room?”

“I was here first?” She asked as if that should have been obvious.

“But my tv is smaller than this one. C’mon, Aqua, just lemme’ use it.”

She gave him a hard stare, contemplating just what she should do. It wasn’t long before she gave in. He guessed she must really have wanted to read that book. Being the selfish brat that he was though, he didn’t feel bad in the slightest. He was triumphant if anything. Being the winner, he donned his headphones connected to the tv to actually hear the movie.

It wasn’t for a while, almost to about half the movie before Aqua came back down and placed a hand on his shoulder for his attention. He jolted with surprise but took the headphones off and placed his hearing aid back in. 

Looking back at her, he asked “What?”

“Mom’s in the hospital. Apparently she fell and hurt herself climbing to get to Terra.”

Mom hurt herself? That wasn’t very big news. The discs in her back were out of place so she was always injured in some form or way. 

As Ven thought it over, Aqua already started heading out. Maybe it was better if he stayed home. Terra might still be mad at him after all, and he doubted it’d be a good idea to start a fight in the hospital. 

Trivial thoughts. Aqua was gone, so were his brother and mother. He went back to his movie to pass the time.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

It wasn’t until he woke up did he finally see them back. His mom was on painkillers for her aching back, and Terra was surprisingly not mad at him. He was happy to have them all back. 

It seemed like everything would be fine. Of course it would be though, why wouldn’t it be? Father’s day a few days later wasn’t that great though. He’d never forget it for as long as he lived.

It was okay until he was out streaming with Futaba at her house. Terra and Aqua were on a food run, and he’d gotten a call from his dad. His father was drunk, as usual so he had to bear through it. 

“Mom’s dead.” He said in his aggravatingly intoxicated tone. Ven hated it. He hated alcohol so much. If only it was gone. But what was he saying? Their grandma died finally? The jerk that judged him for ever dyeing his hair or wearing cute animal hats? Good riddance. Maybe that was a bit harsh. 

“Get over here.” Oh now he had to go home? Probably for a meeting on what to do about their dead grandma. She was racist and homophobic though, she wasn’t that pleasant to be around at all either. What was there to say. 

Whatever it was, he was annoyed but he texted his siblings.

[Text]: We need to go home. Dad’s drunk and says mom’s dead but he’s probably just joking again.

Before long, they arrived with food. He’d love to dig in but they had places to be for now so he hopped in the car and ignored the food for the time being. 

The sight the trio saw at home was one they’d certainly never forget. The dark streets were lit up by red, white, and blue flashing lights of cop cars and ambulances. Immediately, the feeling of dread sunk into his siblings. Shock was all Ventus felt.

Aqua screamed into the night for their mother and Terra ran after him. Ven followed behind with Futaba in tow, she clung to him as he trudged along the yard’s grass and to the front where police and his father were standing. Their dad discussed with the officers, but everything was such a blur. The next thing Ven knew, he was being escorted away and back to the car. He’d heard something about his mom having overdosed on her painkillers. How they weren’t prescribed correctly and didn’t mix with her other medication, but was that right? He wasn’t sure. The next thing he knew, he was back at Futaba’s place, idly playing games and keeping in silence. 

Only when the funeral came and he saw her casket get lowered into the ground, did he finally start sobbing. 

_ If only I went with her to get Terra. If only I didn’t fight with him.  _

_ If only. If only.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just hit with so much guilt today apparently. Guilt for online and guilt for my mom's death years ago. It just never seems to end. It all always plays on repeat, plaguing my mind with "if only's."
> 
> We still don't actually know what happened to our mom, but she called our dad for help and he ignored his phone which I resented him for for years. The cops couldn't decide if it was a purposeful suicide, accidental, or if our dad killed her on purpose. It bugs me to not know and I miss her greatly. She picked out an outfit for me to wear at the next funeral I attended though, it happened to be hers. I wonder if she knew. She kept making remarks about what to do after she was gone after all.


	19. Interlude 4

The letter was sent, tucked away in Roxas’ locker. With hands stuffed in monochrome hoodie pockets, Ven slunk away from his ex friend’s domain, sure to hide from sight when he saw him coming by. He was with his crew, something Ven longed for but it was too late for that. He’d already messed up and he knew Roxas wouldn’t be interested in giving him a second chance. No, not after Jack had the reigns and his own psychotic breakdowns drove the other away in the first place. It was foolish to think there’d be hope. For him and for anyone.

He seemed so full of life on his own. Was his own presence that soul sucking that such a close friend was infinitely better off without him? Whatever happened to always being there for him? Was it all a lie? He wasn’t sure, but the thought got him moving. Ventus lifted his hood over his head, bowing it to further hide his visage. He didn’t need to see himself be further scorned by such a “friend.”

He’d probably think the note was obnoxious, just like his very presence and existence. That’s how everyone viewed him though. It weighed its toll on him so heavily, he could barely breathe. 

He kept moving. All the way out of the school. 

Ven wanted to make it to secure spot so he wouldn’t be interrupted, but the feeling of betrayal he got from his old friend brought the knife out of his pocket. There was a bit of hesitation if only thanks to the public eye, but he probably looked like some junkie or thug with his hood up. 

It hurt so much though. He just wanted it to stop. He wanted the pain out. He wanted out. 

Knife clenched tight in his hands, he brought it up high into the air, he didn’t care if the sight garnered him unwanted attention. Attention is what he desired. Everyone at school evaded him so heavily. As if he was a disease. He couldn’t stand it. He couldn’t stand that nor Roxas doing the same to him. Why would he do that? He said they’d be together forever. 

Even feeling the knife plunging into his stomach didn’t stop his racing and paranoid thoughts. Roxas knew everything about him, he’d mark him to everyone he knew just how bad a person Ven was. Then he’d be alone forever.

He stabbed again, blood flowing off of the knife as he harshly ripped it out with a gasp to repeat the process over and over. Anything to get the thoughts to stop. They wouldn’t though. No matter how much pain he was in nor how much blood he lost, he couldn’t stop thinking about the friend he could no longer have.

Not even as he collapsed to the ground, pulse fading and breathing shallow. His trailing thoughts still fell on his lost friend, simply wondering why it all went so wrong. 

_ “Dear, Roxas _

_ I’m sorry for being a bad friend. I’m sorry for losing to my illness and taking it out on you. I’ll make it stop though so you won’t have to hurt anymore, and neither will anyone else. _

_ Thank you for being my friend, Ventus.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended up meeting with the person that played Roxas for me again. It was only a split second before I left the chat because I panicked, but the sight of them made me sick and want to die so Vix had to drive us home today. 
> 
> I really do wonder if I should just be stuck in a mental institution. Then I'd be away from everyone and everything. I wouldn't have to be hurt anymore.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Maybe Next Year...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27948836) by [suprgrl1995](https://archiveofourown.org/users/suprgrl1995/pseuds/suprgrl1995)
  * [He who sups with the devil should have a long spoon](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28134219) by [suprgrl1995](https://archiveofourown.org/users/suprgrl1995/pseuds/suprgrl1995)




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